The Little or Big Cry

I finally got a big chunk of sleep and while I did, I dreamt of my Twin.

I was billeted in the hotel where we used to meet whenever he’s in the country. I was accompanied, I think, by my aunt whom I used to live with in the US. I was in the hotel restaurant/cafe when he walked in with the karmic.  His whole family was with him.

I didn’t recognize him at first because he was smaller than the karmic and a whole lot older.  Normally, he towers over her at 6’3″ — she’s 5’4″, practically my height, but in my dream, he was almost shrivelled, kind of how Bilbo Baggins looked like in the Fellowship of the Ring as opposed to when he was played by Martin Freeman in the Hobbit.

I was observing them from where I sat in the restaurant.  And I could see that he was truly genuinely affectionate with her, wrapping her arms around her at times, holding her hand;  it was, I felt, as though he had totally forgotten about my existence in the midst of this domestic bliss.

She, on the other hand, was bigger and stockier than she usually is.  She was quite jolly and in love, wearing a monochromatic theme in silver — a long sleeved-cardigan with inner tank and loose fitting trousers. They were on a family vacation, and for some reason, in my dream, we were given the same room, a big one though.

I was wondering when I would approach him.  And my dream turned into some kind of vignette where I would go to places that he would likely visit — the golf course, in my dream — hoping to bump into him.

Last shot was me left in the room with the girlfriend of his eldest son, D. She was just chilling there and I thought to strike up a conversation.  She was very friendly and told me what it was like to be part of the family.  I asked her whatever happened to R, D’s ex, and she told me that R preceded her, and that was ages ago because D was now 29.  And if you translate that into human years, that would be six or more years into the future.

Wow.

That was it though. We never did get to meet up again in person; and I just found out what a lovely time he was having with his family. In my dream, I felt that he was completely smitten with the karmic, falling in love all over again with her.

So, I wake up thinking that maybe this is the “memory” or the sadness that I had to bring up and have a “little or big cry” about, that bit he told me about where he said that he could see himself growing old with her. I did ask my guides for a message before I slept, and for the first time in a looong time, I dreamt about my twin again.

In my dream, I decided not to approach him anymore because he was clearly, obviously happy. I wouldn’t go as far to say that I was happy for him, but I did feel that I had come to terms with the situation, accepted the fact that he was happy, and just let it go.

So, here I am, typing it all down before I forget. I still haven’t had that “little or big cry” about it, just a pervading feeling of sadness.  It could very well be true that, at this point in time, having been in separation for so long, that I’d been totally wiped out of his memory. Or that the power of the evil karmic has seeped into his bones causing him to age, shrink, and do her bidding over his free will — but that’s just wishful thinking on my part, that he isn’t doing this out of his own volition.

Perhaps this is supposed to be the memory that I’ve suppressed and that I need to unearth.  I hadn’t really thought about what he said in so long because it hurt.  He had already decided to spend all his tomorrows with “her”, regardless of what those days may bring.  He picked her.  He wanted to take a chance with her. He decided to stay with her.

And what did Hazel say I should do once this sadness comes to the fore?  Just release it. Let my defenses down with my sadness and feelings.  She said that this little bit is the only thing that’s blocking me from going towards my destiny; that I’ve been doing such a good job seeing things as energy that I’ve blocked off feeling this. So what I’m supposed to do is just feel this — btw, yes, I did have a cry while writing this — but don’t wallow in the sadness. Just let it go.

So I get it now.  That vision of him growing old with his family and totally forgetting about me was a fear that I’ve suppressed.  It’s totally at odds with me believing in him, in the path, and what the future holds for us as twin flames. It’s incongruent with the our nature as one soul coming towards each other for union after having spent several lifetimes apart in order to grow. So, there.  I acknowledge that it was a fear, but I embrace; I release it; and I choose to grow beyond that fear; to fully trust the Universe that the future it holds for me and my twin is better than anything I could have ever imagined. And, yes, that is in 3D, because energetic union in 5D and in higher dimensions, that’s already the goal. So what else could that pertain to but 3D where all illusion exists?

I can feel my vibration rise several notches higher now than when I started writing this post. And it feels good. So I thank my Higher Self and Spiritual Team for unearthing that memory which caused me so much pain and showing me what it is that I had blocked out in my dreams. I do, however, in my supreme and sovereign power, choose NOT to manifest it.

We are Creators, both you and I. Remember that.

 

11:11 Gateway

Typing this out on my new computer courtesy of my Twin Flame. 🙂  It took a couple of days to get it all together and to figure it out, but it’s fine now.  I can render videos fast, but, there’s still the problem of having slow internet in order to upload them faster.  That’s next on my list of things to solve.

My cousin came through and brought me an oracle deck and a tarot card deck from his trip to the US.  Yay!  Actually, I gave him a list of preferences but told him that if what’s on my list wasn’t available, he could just go and pick one that resonated with him. So he came back with John Holland’s Psychic Tarot of the Heart Oracle Deck and the English Magic Tarot deck.

I immediately took to the Psychic Tarot of the Heart deck.  It gave clear messages, and seemed to be just the right balance.  Not too otherworldly, and not too vague either. Here’s a picture:

The English Magic Tarot deck had a different effect on me.  The energy coming off from it was strong, earthy, very 3D. Here’s a picture of the deck:

I didn’t immediately resonate with the pictures especially since it looked like it was from some graphic novel, but later on I learned how to read them because for some reason I was familiar with the period.

The first time I handled the deck for a reading, the hairs on my arm stood on end and my heart was palpitating.  But once I pulled cards and read from the book, I realized that I was way more familiar with the historical characters and period depicted there.  And I had the eerie feeling that perhaps I was incarnate during that period. Very strong messages that I got from that deck there.  I actually did a reading about 11:11 Gateway Guidance using them, and I’ve been trying to upload it since last night.  Three failed times already.  For some reason, the message won’t get out.  And I’m a bit pissed off because it was such a powerful message!

Okay, onto the next groovy thing that happened to me.  One of my twin flame friends, sent me a link to a vid about Removal of Implants and Light Language. So I listen to it, twice even. And immediately after, I feel nothing.  A few hours after, the left side of my gums/teeth hurt and I can’t even manage a bite.

Now, I’ve been trying to figure out all day if it’s either my gums or my teeth that are hurting.  You see, until I reached middle age, I had wonderful cavity-free teeth so toothaches are virtually alien to me. Folks in the office told me to gargle hot water infused with a whole lot of rock salt for the gums.  I did that. Didn’t feel anything so it wasn’t a canker sore on my gums.  Still, I was getting mighty pissed because it was so difficult to eat! Even if I used my teeth on the other side of my jaw, every time I would bring down my jaw, there’s be some pain.  And to think that I was fasted for already 16.5 hours!

Anyway, a protein shake saved the day.  But, I had been craving for Tempura and Sushi since the weekend and after work, I headed to this Japanese restaurant to satisfy my craving like a rebel.  Damn the hurting jaw and all.  I was hungry.  So I ate and I think I’ve had my fill of Japanese food that will last me a while.

Oh, my crystal from the Divine Love Crystal Grid finally arrived all the way from Great Britain! Whoopdeedoo! Just in time for 11:11 over here in my country! (I’m a day ahead than most).  That means that my TF and I will be able to plug into the matrix of the collective and send the world unconditional love tomorrow!

As soon as I handled the crystal, I could feel this overwhelming sensation of love flow through me that it actually made me weep. I felt more connected with my Twin and I don’t know if you will understand this, but he was right there in my heart. ❤

Which brings me to another topic — the Gift of Tears.  I’ve had this for so many years, but it was only this morning — even before I wept while handling the crystal — that it came to mind.

So I googled and I didn’t know but apparently a lot of saints were bestowed the Gift of Tears during mystical experiences.

If you’re unfamiliar with this, the Gift of  Tears is an unbidden gift from the Holy Spirit that is bestowed on someone through the healing flow of tears shed. The fruit of such tears leads both the recipient of this gift and others who witness it to joy and abiding peace.

The gift of tears is one way the Holy Spirit infuses Himself into a person’s soul through the action of crying or weeping. It is a state of prayer without words that is more of a subconscious offering of love—a wordless means of communicating with God.

There have been times when I actually stopped going to mass because the tears would just flow and I was embarrassed having everyone stare at me like a curiosity.  Anyway, there.

Oh, I forgot to mention about the Light Language class.  So I enrolled in this workshop to activate light language.  I’ve mentioned in my blog several times before how I’ve channeled light language (and even brought Arcturians to my balcony, hehe).  The thing is, I still can’t do it at a moment’s notice and I don’t know who I’m channeling and neither can I translate what’s being said.  I just have a general feel of what I said and most of the time, it’s “Blessing” or “Healing”.  Just those two broad categories.

I just want to get to a place wherein, you know, kind of like those YouTube vids where the teacher says AA Michael or Mary Magdalene has a message for you or this LL is brought to you by the Lyran High Council and all that, and then they translate in English what it was about.

So, despite being a bit pricey, I thought it was a good investment on myself. The timezone thing is going to be tough though.  The session is going to be held 1:30 a.m. my time which was not so bad — until I read the fine print (later on, after I had paid) that the session was going to take around 5-6 hours. Oh, my!

But the thing is, when I inquired, this is what the Healer/Teacher said about me: “I am reading your aura and DNA and you have access to many hybrid languages, ex every life you have lived before this one. You also have a creator language, the Language, sound frequency that creator gave you when you were created.” 

Wow, isn’t that exciting?  I know I’ve already channeled three of those hybrid languages, and those were during intergalactic lifetimes.  But if it includes lifetimes spent in Gaia, and if I was incarnated in 15th Century England as I surmise — ummm, well, that’s still English. Baaah.

Anyway, I’m pretty sure I’ll discover more after the class.  There’ll be a healing session prior to that which I’m excited about too.  It’s going to be a group healing session via video conferencing and it’s the first time I’ll be doing that.  But jeez, five hours?  Maybe I should get one of those placards that says “On a Break” to put in front of my monitor or something or BRB.  With my ADHD, I have a hard time sitting still for more than 2 1/2 hours.  Three is my limit. But I’ll cross the bridge when I get there.

Okay, that’s it for my updates! Toodle-doo! Unconditional love to you and you and you!

 

Rapid Response Team

Oh, wow.  That was fast.

I already told you what Candace said about whether or not M is my twin, but I wanted further validation.  So I was shopping for a reader who could do my twin’s verification, but nothing resonated or was within the budget yet.

So I watch a couple of Twin Flame videos on YouTube, and I’m watching Starsoul Tarot’s reading for Gemini this October 2016. Mid-reading, I already decided that I would ask her since she’s very good at what she does and her readings are very insightful. I was actually looking online for her email address to get in touch with her about how my question was going to be phrased or if she answered those types of questions. I find her pricing and options and check the conversion of currencies.

I get back to the reading, play it again, but since I’m an easily distracted Gemini, I pause the video again and decide to check out FB.  And guess what?

She had actually gotten in touch with me to tell me that I won the free reading contest that she had last month! Wow!!!!

This is too creepy to be just coincidence, lol. It actually feels like a “verification gift” from the heavens. Thank you, Universe! Thank you, Hazel!

Why the Void?

I’ve been crying.  On and off, not for anything in particular, but just purging and releasing.  I’m thinking that maybe it’s hormones since it’s shark week for me, but maybe it’s also because the things I’ve been rushing to accomplish for my application are more or less in place, just a couple of things to polish it off and I can “not think about it” for a while.

If you read the entry before this, I was wondering why the silence from all fronts.  It kind of seemed like a conspiracy.  Even my Destiny Adviser wasn’t available, and I took it as a sign that this was something I had to navigate through myself.

I did a reading last night for me and my twin.  He loves me, is looking towards me, but is still navigating through some issues of heartbreak.  He’s having challenges with the ex, probably with regard to divorce matters.  On the other hand, my column was pretty accurate — Eight of Swords, meaning I can’t see past anything (which is what I’ve been writing about haha), Five of Wands, Nine of Swords — but I did find it interesting that the underlying energy of the spread was the Sun.  As though it was telling us that this was the darkness before the breaking of the dawn.  For his energy towards me, he got the Twin Flame card.  For mine towards him, the Ace of Pentacles, manifestation.

I also got that he was asking me to hold on as he was making the choices he needed to make.  When I asked what he was deciding about me, the first option was union, fast and swift, (Alchemist + Tower), while the second option was status quo (Four of Swords + Three of Wands).  For what he feels regarding those two options, for the first option, it was Ace of Swords, while the second option was Ten of Swords.  What that’s telling me is that he feels that it will pain him more for us to be in continued separation.

Last, I asked what his plans were for me — and I loved the answer that came up, which included the King of Cups, Knight of Cups and Page of Cups, Eight of Pentacles and Two of Cups.  My twin plans to love me.  And I ended the reading on that happy note.

This morning, just as I was crossing the threshhold from sleep to wakefullness, I was given the message that physical union, sacred sex will be necessary to complete both our healing because each of us holds a key. I was given a vision of our kundalinis rising and spiraling upwards in various colors as they passed through our chakras and then bursting outwards to envelope the both of us and to resonate that kind of energy to the Universe.  We are healing on our own now, but will need each other to complete that phase and start something new.

I got more enlightenment about what I’ve been going through as I fired up my computer.  This one was from Naglaa Elshamy, who channels Spirit from twin flames and others.  This was her message today:

Very grateful to have received that message which resonates strongly with me.  Issues from long ago have been cropping up like a rerun of a tv show which I didn’t want to watch.  I’ve been feeling like I’ve been retaking a test except that this time around, I know how to answer the questions already.

In another video I watched, it was explained that the twin needed this “time out” because there will be accelerated movement after that; that it will be slower if he doesn’t take this time out.

I just hope that this upgrade will get done soon. Take care, everyone.

Enter the Lion’s Gate

Before I post about my lion’s gate thoughts, I just have a quick follow up to my post, One, which I wrote a couple of days ago.  Remember, I said that I dreamt about an old high school classmate who was dirtied and in uniform by the roadside?  That afternoon, after I had journaled my dream as soon as I woke up in the morning, I went to the mall because I had an appointment with my Destiny Adviser and run some quick errands before my meeting.

I was on my way when guess who I bumped into? Yes, the girl that I had dreamt about.  She was shopping with her mom and since I also knew her mom, we exchanged pleasantries and went our own ways.  It was a brief moment, but for that moment, I sensed her energy signature.  It was a very muted one, very sad, low and weak.  But I was in a rush and so was she.

Anyway, I just found it strange that I dream about this girl and the next thing I know, she’s right there in front of me! And I have never bumped into this girl since high school.  We meet during high school reunions, but that’s it.  We’re not close.  So I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with that.

Here’s another instance in which I felt the Universe was supporting me.  Around two weeks ago, an uncompleted Windows 10 update screwed up my computer.  Initial check with the tech guys said that none of my files could be saved (tons of movies, pics, and my iTunes).  But after much prayer, the tech guy did some techie thing and saved ALL MY DATA. Thing was, my HD was fried so I needed storage for my data, but I didn’t have extra funds to get a new one which would cost nearly $100.  I would have extra cash had I not lent it to our helper who needed to go home to the province to tend to her sick child.  She wasn’t my “charge” so to speak, since she provided services to my parents and brother, but I felt compassion for her situation and lent her.

Anyway, lots of expenses coming up and I just did what I could with what I had, transferring files to different computers just so that they would all fit.  They barely did.  This was important, but I figured, it could wait.  Until last night, I see an ad for 1TB internal laptop HDDs for — get this — $30. They were pullouts from brand new laptops, replaced with SSDs.  And I had external casing, so housing it wouldn’t be a problem.  So, thanks to the powers of the Universe, I got 2TB for around $60. Yay!!!!! And I am currently transferring files onto them as I type.

Okay, onto Lion’s Gate.  Last night, I did a reading specifically about energies surrounding me and my twin this Lion’s Gate.  I had no idea what spread to use, but I asked Spirit to guide me, and I was guided to do this spread in the form of the Infinity Symbol.  It was amazing too because when you read for the masculine, since we have merged in 5D, you could see his “story” flowing into the Divine Feminine, and vice-versa.  The middle card that tied the two “loops” was the Six of Pentacles – generosity, sharing.  And in my deck, it was pretty obvious that the Lion’s Gate energies would affect the masculine more, because the female in the card was already “illumined” by the light shining through the window.  So my twin would be given more energy so that he could take things in the physical (as evidenced by the pentacles above him).

I asked for a message from my Ascended Masters deck to tie the reading up and guess what cards fell out when I was shuffling? Twin Flame and Trust. Beautiful! 🙂 And the card at the bottom of the deck was the Wheel of Fortune. Basically, the reading was explaining how the influx of energies was going to affect us.  For my twin, it will help him get to a point of clarity and act faster to materialize our union.  For me, I was again told to hold the energies and recognize my power as a creator of my reality.

Next, I did a  Lion’s Gate Week Spread for the both of us. This time, I was guided to use a 9-card spread and I asked how this week would turn out for the both of us in 3D.  The Lovers card was smack right in the center, and it was again a beautiful spread.  The bottom of the deck card was the Ace of Swords, which meant that honesty and being true to our authentic selves is the underlying energy this week.

Manifesting this new beginning with my twin will call for an honest assessment of the situation.  We’ve both been doing our healing under the radar, both guided by the Divine while at it, and relief and sanctuary are now forthcoming.  There will be celebrations and union will be in the physical, as was the message of the Lovers Card in this particular deck, where the Divine is handing the fruit to the couple. The fruit is the same one that bloomed from the trees that grew off from the masculine and feminine, both a result from their own healing and growth, and now, they are being handed it.

Okay, I can’t remember the rest of the reading, but it was good. 🙂

That’s it for now.  I think tomorrow — August 8th — I shall be visualizing and enriching the timeline where my twin and I are together, and grounding the new light codes and energies into Gaia.

 

 

 

 

One

I have to write this down because I feel that my dream has an important message for me, but it is slowly slipping away.

What I remember is that I was going somewhere, on a journey. And I was checking out this coat which was brown, and seemed to be attached to this huge stuffed bear. It was inexpensive, and had white crocheted pockets, and the edges of the coat were lined with fur. I was looking at myself in the mirror, and I was asking someone beside me, “Is this okay?”, but I remember feeling good about it and thinking it looked good, just that other people might think me strange for wearing a giant stuffed bear on my back.

The thing is, in my dream, this scene wasn’t totally in 3D. It started out that way, but it would switch “filters” so to speak between 3D and 5D. In its 5D version, I could see shades of violet and gold emanating from me, with a crystalline like specks, like glitter and little diamonds, floating in the air. And the bear wasn’t a bear, but more like the head of a lion.

Now, I know what this segment means, but let me get on with the rest of my dream first before I forget.

Next, it seemed like I was travelling on a train, this was only me.  I was looking out the window and seeing events pass me by.  There seemed to have been an accident but the weird part is that I was both in the train and investigating the scene of the accident at the same time. Again, it would flit between these two scenes. From the train window, I saw people dirtied, but strangely enough, not bloodied.  I saw an old high school classmate in uniform, dirtied and fallen on the ground, and I somehow knew that our high school valedictorian was also affected by whatever that had happened.  Her name is Issa, short for Clarissa.

In my dream, as in real life, she knew almost everything.  In this instance, in my dream, she was a master at decoding the messages of the tarot. And it felt that in my dream, I was sort of taking a test.  Like she was explaining to me the things that I was seeing through my train window, but even before doing so, I already had my own interpretation of it which synced up with what she was explaining.  I don’t know how to describe it, but if this were totally in 3D, it would be like a teacher telling you how to do things, and me going, “Yeah, I know.”

Before I continue analyzing this message, I have to tell you what happened yesterday.  I was very sad, low energy, and basically unsure.  In fact, I had to call on Archangel Michael to send me the blue ray to protect my energy field so that no further negativity would seep through.  I also called on St. Germain for the Silver Violet Flame so that whatever negativity that had gotten through would be transformed.  So I started the day feeling blah, half wishing that I didn’t have to go to work, but also knowing that if I didn’t, I would just stay at home and mope. I had questions.  I had doubts about this whole twin flame journey. The same questions I had for Agatha (Psychicconsultants on You Tube) were still lingering and there were no answers.  In other words, I had doubts that my twin flame relationship would manifest in 3D.  And I wasn’t mad, just resigned and trying to accept my fate in 3D.

I asked my guides for answers, but on the drive to the office, my head was a mess. It was a hodgepodge of thoughts and worries.  I literally had to refocus my attention and remember that I had just asked a question that I was seeking the answer to.  And then, that’s when this song came on the radio, one that I had just heard for the first time, and it seemed to speak directly to me.  I learned later on that it was Katy Perry’s “Rise” and these were the lyrics that I caught:

“Oh, ye of so little faith
Don’t doubt it, don’t doubt it
Victory is in my veins
I know it, I know it
And I will not negotiate
I’ll fight it, I’ll fight it
I will transform

When, when the fire’s at my feet again
And the vultures all start circling
They’re whispering, ‘You’re out of time’
But still I rise

This is no mistake, no accident
When you think the final nail is in
Think again
Don’t be surprised
I will still rise

I must stay conscious
Through the madness and chaos
So I call on my angels
They say

Oh, ye of so little faith
Don’t doubt it, don’t doubt it
Victory is in your veins
You know it, you know it
And you will not negotiate
Just fight it, just fight it
And be transformed”

Now, if that wasn’t a clear message, I don’t know what is. Spirit was telling me to hold on. And, yes, I have been calling on my Higher Self and Spiritual Team, my angels, the Archangels and Ascended Masters — anyone from above I can call on for help.  And this was what they said:

“So I call on my angels
They say

Oh, ye of so little faith
Don’t doubt it, don’t doubt it
Victory is in your veins
You know it, you know it
And you will not negotiate
Just fight it, just fight it
And be transformed”

I navigated through the day and at the end of my workday, after I had finished running errands at the mall and having coffee, I left to go home.  As I was exiting the parking area of the mall, a video on You Tube saying that the First Wavers of Twin Flames were sort of done with their mission came to mind.  Well, not really done with their mission, but they were done anchoring in energy and it that it was time for them to create now, for themselves, as their service in holding the energy for others was accomplished.  Timelines are merging and this is a tool for deeper healing because one can now access that part of them in a certain timeline and heal that through intent and feelings.

Personally, I felt that, and I had a hunch that whenever readers were talking about “new beginnings” that this would be part of it, but it was only more comprehensively explained to me why. This is why I’ve been getting the feeling of “I’ve done what I can.  Everything else from here on is up to you,” especially when dealing with humans.

Anyway, I went ahead and asked, hoping to receive a sign.  And when I turned on the radio, and the first song I hear is One Direction’s “Infinity”. You know, like the infinity symbol of twin flames? So, I guess, both my twin and I will be part of the first wavers.

But since sometimes I am uncertain if that was indeed the sign (I have the same problem with the GPS — take a right here? you mean now? here? then I miss the turn) I kept the question open for clarification. I swear, one day, I will write a children’s story about “The Lost Little Starseed”.

Anyway, I didn’t get any more striking messages all the way to my house, which brings me back to my dream. The central figure in my dream was Issa. In my native tongue, do you know what that means?

One. 

The first. Una.

But other questions were answered as well.  Someone up there is telling me that I’m ready.  Maybe for another chapter, I don’t know. I’m not sure. But the bear coat/3D, lion mane/5D is an honoring of my Lyran Starseed ancestry.  It seems that they are telling me that I get to “wear the coat” now even if I feel uncomfortable somewhat with what other people will say.  They are also telling me that I can now travel through various timelines and that I can read and convey messages of spirit. All in all, it seems as though I have completed a certain level of mastery.

Now, what am I to do? How do I share my gifts? That’s something I have to mull over.

 

 

 

 

 

Divine Compassion

I had many questions for Agatha — Psychic Consultants on YouTube — and I’m going to write them down here:

ME: “I watch your YouTube videos and your Vimeos. Some of the more salient points you make are: ‘it doesn’t matter whom you love, as long as you love’ and ‘it doesn’t matter whether you’re together or you’re apart because the point is self-realization’. So are you saying that physical union is close to impossible? (I won’t say impossible because everything is possible). Or that if we choose to unconditionally love our twin and stay faithful to that love, that we should resign ourselves to the fact that it may not manifest and still be happy with that outcome (i.e. that we are without a partner)? But wouldn’t someone who finds themselves without a partner still have to “make do/make happy by themselves” even without going on this twin flame journey anyway? What choice do they have unless they want to wallow in sadness and misery? It’s just that this TF thing is starting to seem like a support group for those unrequited in love.

AGATHA (Reply):  “Only if you assume that being happy regardless of being together or apart results in being apart! What if the opposite was true?? Everything I post is about people realising union and harmony in every possible form. I don’t believe the point is self-realisation at all… I believe the point is JOY. And living a life of total freedom and not needing circumstances to be anything in order to feel that joy. When we love regardless, when we let the energy and power of love flow through us, we don’t really care who or what is around, no, or whether we are in ‘union’ or not, alone or not. But that doesn’t mean surrendering to a life of unhappiness and not being in union or being alone! We get happy FIRST. We be in love FIRST. Then we get what we are destined for. Which is always our highest vision for ourselves. It just works that way. Well in my understanding of this work that I do simply because it is happening. I just share it how it moves through me. And I fully believe and experience that these concepts, when applied, have very positive, practical implications.”

ME (Rejoinder): If you review your video, you did say that the point was self-realization, however, I do believe in the points you raised about living a life of joy. But my question was geared towards reconciling both salient points you’ve made which brings me to “it doesn’t matter whom you love, as long as you love”. I think it would be safe to assume that most of your subscribers, even other readers here on YouTube, that are on a TF journey are seeking for union with their twin in 3D and not only in 5D. And that we’re doing the work (inner purging, healing, et al.) because we want union with our twin, not some karmic partner or person from the same soul group. Because, as I’ve mentioned, if the point was “love the one you’re with (regardless whether TF or not)”, why go on the TF journey anyway? And since in the course of connecting with your true authentic self, you figure out who the other half of your soul is which truth you CANNOT UNKNOW or deny if you still want to stay in your authentic self, then wouldn’t it be more honest to frame the TF journey as one wherein one “seeks an energetic union with your twin (in 5D) to generate tremendous amounts of love to give to others who are NOT your twin (in 3D)?” What bothers me is the fact that physical union is being dangled like a carrot on a stick when the bottomline is “once you get to this point of knowing and accepting the terms of your TF soul contract, you will also have learned to access so much love that you must necessarily spread it to others as part of your mission, regardless of the fact that you will be alone”. If the be all and end all is learning to redirect our love for our twin onto something/someone else, then why not come out with that from the beginning instead of getting up hopes for physical union with a twin?

Well, that’s where the conversation ends for now.  Still waiting if a reply is forthcoming.

Anyway, do you get my question?

I meditated for some answers. First, I did a chakra clearing with the Soul Star. And, surprisingly, much clearing didn’t have to be done for my third eye, throat, heart, and the yellow chakra.  My orange chakra was the one that was blocked.  I felt it was the seat of fear and worries and it was gathering there, blocking the flow of energy, and it took some time to clear.  I even had to call in the Violet Flame to assist the clearing. My base chakra was fine.  Yes, glowing red light full of passion, haha.

 

After that, I was taken to the Akashic Records, it was like a big hall, a big library but without a roof. The books seemed color coded but there were some books that were gold. (All the books were edged in gold though). Our “host” was an old man but not really a man, not an alien, but he was different.  He didn’t speak, but just opened one gold book to some pages. The pages had a slight glow to them. The writing on it was glyphs, but I understood it. There was a mark saying that it was amended to allow union for me and M in 3D, in this lifetime.

My twin was beside me the whole time and I was showing it to him.  Next, we were taken to a pool, like in a resort.  Something like an infinity pool with the most azure blues. And this is where it gets strange because that same scene was cutting back and forth into its 5D and 3D version. The 5D had a backdrop of stars, glowing violet trees, while the 3D version was well — 3D, your usual resort.  I had to immerse myself in the pool.  It was just what I had to do. Just me, not my twin.

After that, we returned to the Great Hall (that’s what I’ll call it again) but we didn’t linger there.  We found ourselves in the void, and that’s when Quan Yin, the Great Mother of Mercy and Compassion, appeared to us/me. She gave comfort, told me how she knew of my suffering, and assured me of union. Then she blessed me with a gift — it was a gem, like a red ruby that fit in the palm of my hand.  I didn’t know what it signified and when I asked, I was told that I’ll know what it is for when the time comes. I was motioning to share it with my twin who was beside me, but Quan Yin told me that he had his own too.  And that’s when she showed me his.  His wasn’t a ruby.  It was the same cut and shape, but his was more of like an ice blue diamond, and he emanated the same light of the gem throughout his light body. We were told that we were to work with both.

So I imagined connecting my and my gem to him and his through the infinity symbol running through our hearts, connecting us.  We were glowing with a pink light and on the outer was yellow light.  Similar to the yellow/orange ray that accompanied Quan Yin’s departure.  I thanked her for the message and decided to do a reading since I didn’t quite understand what the gem was for or her instructions.  (I know, I know, this starseed needs quite a lot of clarification)

I won’t delve into the details of the reading, but to my surprise, the cards I picked confirmed my encounter with Quan Yin.  My significator was the Page of Cups. After that came Judgment, and after that came Alchemy.  Now, the Alchemy card in my deck (I use the Wizard’s Tarot deck) is depicted by a scientist (or maybe he’s a wizard, I’m not sure), mixing two elements into one bottle — and get this — the elements he was mixing were the same color as the gems we had just received! Not only that, but the final card of the spread was the Lovers. And in my deck, it is pictured by two people facing each other, writing on a desk, and overseeing them is this beautiful lady with golden hair and dressed in a flowing white dressed, holding an red apple by her chest.

Whoaaaaaaa. And it was the same position/posture of Quan Yin prior to handing me the gem.

So I looked up what the gems meant. For the ruby gem, this is what I got:

The color of a healthy awakened heart chakra ranges from a soft pink to a deep ruby red. Ruby is the stone of Lady Master Nada, who is a member of the Karmic Board and serves as the representative of the third ray (pink ray) of divine love. She is very much involved with the initiation and sponsorship of twin flames and the Aquarian age family.

As for my twin’s ice blue diamond gem, apparently it comes from Mother Mary (both Mother Mary and Quan Yin are different aspects of the Divine Feminine). This is what Mother Mary said about it in a channeling:

“The initial purpose of this gift of my essence was to begin to heal the wounds and illusions that had grown so dense upon Gaia; to begin to open and heal your hearts and expand your consciousness that you might begin to understand that you were caught in the mental and emotional illusions of humanity. I more deeply seeded humanity in order that the heart consciousness awakening, the Great Awakening, could truly begin. x x x It is what you call instantaneous combustion of healing because you cannot go forward in the fullness of who you are unless that healing has occurred.“

Again, I am awestruck.  My twin is awake and is healed or is currently being healed at a fast rate.  And my heart chakra has blossomed into a deeper love.  Alternatively, ruby also supports life situations and it is a welcome gift because my 3D life is teetering on the brink of collapse.  I’m just comforted knowing that the ascended masters know about it and are supporting me.

That’s it for now.  Namaste.

 

 

Mastering the Multiverse for Union

Today, I came across this Pleiadian Channeled Message to Twin Flames 07 11 16 “Ascension Definition” as channelled by Naglaa Elshamy.  I suggest you watch it first, before delving into my comments:

So far, this is what I got from it:

• we must learn the concept of “wisdom and energy” and what it means to put energy into action
• when the Twin Flame Collective puts its mind towards a certain destination, we will be able to manifest our heart’s desires
• connection with higher light beings (divine beings) goes both ways. We become both human and spiritual beings living in parallel realities – 3D and 5D.
• Those two realities are separate and connected.  For people who have reached that certain mastery in their ascension, they can fully make the connection between the two realities — physical and spiritual.
• So when you connect with someone in 3D, you must also connect with them in 5D – it’s like doing two things at the same time.
• When you are in ascension, that gap between the two realities come really close to each other until they are fully merged. When that happens, you become a master of living in both realities. (some deep Matrix stuff here!)
• Ergo, Master Level Skill = FULL INTEGRATION OF BOTH REALITIES
• Ascenscion therefore means that you are an individual that is capable of living a full physical life & a full spiritual life at the same time.
• To reach this Mastery Skill Level, one will have gone through different cycles of healing, different cycles of stripping of the ego, different cycles of reaching one’s own balance of intuition.  Once you listen to your intuition, you will be able to fully connect with the dimension of your spiritual being (a.k.a. The Higher Self)
• More importantly, one must go through multiple series of upgrades of your being — downloads, upgrades — to our bodies.

So the video ends with a bit of homework:  Where are you on your ascension journey? How are you connecting with your intuition? Can you tell whether the messages you’re getting are from intuition or from ego?

Let me try answering my “homework” 🙂

Assuming that the goal is Mastery Skill Level, four elements have been identified, i.e. different cycles of: a) stripping of the ego, b)healing, c) balance of intuition, and d) downloads and upgrades to your body.

Different Cycles of Stripping of the Ego & Healing

I shall be discussing both of these at the same time because they go hand in hand.  One cannot be truly healed on a fundamental level (a.k.a. soul level), if the ego is still in the way.  And, of course, before one would even need healing, there has to be some wound, some injury, some incident, circumstance or situation that causes pain.

On that score alone, I think the Universe has given me numerous opportunities to heal.  Almost 33 years now, beginning from when I was around 8.  (And I just realized at this moment that each chapter of my life before it shifted in a different direction amounts exactly to 11 years. And that kind of creeps me out, but let me get on with my homework!)

8-19 years: 

• highly intuitive, got interested in the paranormal and mystical after surviving an illness that doctor’s could not identify and only a local shaman was able to heal me by — get this — extracting 3 cockroaches from my abdomen
• able to hear voices talking to me, see paranormal stuff (yes, even ghosts), vivid and recurring dreams, and I remember that I was very afraid of seeing Jesus and/or Mother Mary appear in front of me, especially at the foot of my bed.  Jesus once appeared in the sky when I was in the car on the way to Baguio and was peering out the window, but I couldn’t tell anyone because it was too strange though I never forgot the incident.
• I remember trying to teach my parents how to be parents, how to love, and what it means to be family.  I don’t know how I got the information but I continually wrote them long letters about it, until, at about the age of 14, I stopped altogether, disheartened that they weren’t listening to what I was saying.  It’s only now that I’m more spiritually evolved that I realized what that was all about —  Lyran, soul contract that I would lead them in evolving spiritually, etc. 
• I’ve been told that most of the things that I predicted then or just said came true.  Some of them I found out just recently when those I’ve given the message to told me about it.  I often forget what I’ve said.
• Major hurts and lessons at this time centered around family and betrayal in friendships.

19-30 years:

• the most worldly and “cushy” part of my existence, thus far. Started law school which led me on another path.
• continued my otherworldly pursuits through readers, wicca, astrology, feng shui, and high magick, found out that Mother Mary was my Sponsoring Deity (which I now know that what that reader saw was an aspect of my Divine Feminine)
• still being plagued by elementals, incubi, and misguided humans (a.k.a. criminals) — yes, I’ve been carnapped, mugged at icepick point, etc. and I’ve even had my energy attempted to be stolen by “gifted” people.  My theory on this is that they get attracted to the light — my inner light/energy — and it’s like the Ring of Power for them and they go batshit Gollum “My Preciousessss!!” on me.
• My introduction to love was a very lighthearted Pan-like, mischievous toned one.  Actually broke more than a fair share of hearts during this time.  But, in turn, my heart got majorly broken by my first boyfriend who taught me a whole lot of stuff, in love and in life.  He’s dead now, but I do believe he was a soulmate.
• Got my first lesson in unconditional love given to me by my first love, my lhasa apso, MuMu, the circumstances of which I came upon him were purely coincidental. I recognize now that the was the companion sent to me by the Universe, and the lessons he taught me became the standard by which I could tell — although most oftentimes I ignored the signs — the red flags which foretold ego-based love.
• Heartbreak was the major lesson here.  A shift in friends and focus too.  Family wasn’t bugging me too much during this period.

31-41 years:

• The year I met my Twin Flame — that’s what marks this chapter. And I met him through serendipity also because my karmic was, ironically, the one who chose him.
• Major events.  So major that, I have often referred to the time my lessons all came raining down on me as “that Series of Unfortunate Events” — grief, heartbreak, betrayal, treachery, poverty, statelessness, being the victim of a crime.  And all these lessons kicked in the moment I chose to run away from my twin. It was so bad that I’ve wanted to kill myself at least twice, only to be saved by an 11th hour angel in the form of a friend.
• Major ego stripping and healing which took some time and some healing is still going on.
• It was only three years ago that I was awakened to my true origins as a starseed and lightworker. Only a few months ago did I re-discover that I am on a Twin Flame Journey.

Different Cycles of Downloads and Upgrades

I also learned that one of my major missions in this lifetime had to do with my family.  It was after I was permitted to cut karmic ties with them that my etheric grid was upgraded to a crystalline matrix.  I have been anchoring high frequency rays consciously for a while now and I can usually tell which one I’m anchoring.  I work with Angels, Archangels, Ascended Masters, my Higher Self, and my spiritual team. I’ve finally learned to exorcise — and successfully done so — elementals and incubi who want to latch on to me.

I’ve learned how to read tarot cards better now.  It’s as if the cards speak to me.  And I’ve practiced healing on others successfully.

Although not fully conscious of energy downloads, I can feel its effect on my physical body.  Most often, I am tired and drained.

I’ve merged with my Twin in 5D despite our 3D dynamics (or lack thereof), but which is also the reason why I’m not bawling my eyes out in heartbreak or desperation. We communicate telepathically for now.

I’m not that afraid anymore of Jesus and Mother Mary and they’ve shown up in meditation without me running away in fear.

Different Cycles of Balance of Intuition

(my sleep meds are kicking in so forgive me if my thoughts aren’t that lucid)

On the subject of intuition, what I can say is that I have an ongoing conversation with my Higher Self now.  I can very easily spot what’s coming from ego and can point it out as well.  I think that all the “experience” I’ve had the past three decades are finally settling down onto a plate of wisdom.

What Naglaa said about living in two parallel and distinct realities seems true for me, although since the discovery is quite recent, I’ve been more focused on my spiritual evolution now.  And I am learning to balance the two worlds.  Despite what’s been going on in 3D, the undercurrent is one of happiness and unconditional love, bliss, even.

I don’t know if my twin will come around.  If this is the measure of ascension — Heaven on Earth – then I seem to be well on my way in this journey. In fact, I think it’s one of the reasons I’m exhausted.  It’s like going to night school.  There’s real life work to do, passions to follow, and yet, when I am called to learn some more, do the ascension work, the healing work, I still carry on, usually until the meds kick in and I have to sleep to get up for work the next day.  It’s tiring switching from this to that.

But what of my twin?  He seems to be lagging far, far behind.  How are we going to meet at the “appointed place and time” for union if his ego keeps getting in the way?

I don’t know.  And not knowing, is part and parcel of this journey.

 

The Leaf

Last night, I was supposed to have my weekly reading with my reader.  However, he texted me that he was sick and that we had to reschedule.  I think it was meant to be.  I don’t think I need a reading quite just yet because whenever I ask Spirit for answers through my own cards, the answers are given to me loud and clear.

Last night’s reading was particularly nice.  After checking out the existing energies between my Twin and I, I think I asked what course of action he would take or what. Anyway, it was a question along those lines.  Part of the answer was: The World, The Emperor, The Ace of Pentacles, The Wheel of Fortune, and the Sun, all in succession. I forgot the exact cards that followed but I remember what they meant.

It was beautiful because in my mind’s eye, I interpreted that to mean that he already fixed most of the elements (Air, Earth, Water & Fire) in preparation for union. There were four circles staring back at me. Water was placed before the Emperor, so I feel he has still got a bit of reconciling to do with that one.  The cards that followed merely said that he was studying what kind of message to send because he wanted things to be established fast.

It was a nice and very comforting reading, actually. I watched Youtube videos after and I came across this one video where the lightworker was saying to avoid having any etheric hanky panky with your twin if he is physically still with the karmic.  Why? Because the fucking karmic whore (nah, I’m not that mad, just wanted to type that out) would pick up on the energy exchange and siphon my energies bouncing off my twin. As a result, my twin would be confused again because he would think that those feelings (directed towards the twin) were coming from the karmic whore.  The message,  therefore, was to abstain. At least, until we had physical union.

So this morning, when I felt his etheric I’m horny nudge as I was stirring awake, I said no and explained to him why. Now, I’ve got the female version of blue balls and I bet he does too. My energy is for my Twin, not the karmic whore, thank you very much.

I was driving back to the office after having spent my morning scouring for finds at this warehouse full of branded overruns. I got 10 pieces of clothing for about $3 to $4 each, and to think I was willing to pay for that single Zara blouse for the same price!  Anyway, I digress.

I was driving to the office in traffic when a lone vibrant green leaf was whisked onto my windshield and wedged between the wipers and the glass. It took me a moment of staring at it to think, Is this a message from Source? Leaf. Leaves. Leave? Leave what?  And right in front of me was a vehicle that was carrying plants and the leaves were all I could see through the back window. The brand of the car was an Adventure. The plates started with N-E-O.  Its color was emerald green.  I went back to the leaf.  Leave? For where?

It was at that exact moment that the leaf on my windshield doubled over.  Ahhh…I get it now. “Turn over a new leaf!” 

I finally got the message — Turn over a new leaf for a new adventure. Adventure where, you might ask? It’s going to be an adventure of the heart.  Emerald green, the color that symbolizes the opening of the heart chakra. Not only was the car in front of me a deep green, so was the car beside it, and my car was the same color as well. Even my OOTD was mostly teal, another shade of green.

I feel the Universe is telling me to get ready. Go pack your bags! The time is coming! I asked for confirmation on the Tarot app on my phone, just a one card reading, and I got Death.  Something will be transforming. Soon, I hope. And I hope it will bring happiness, love, and good things all around.

 

 

 

Twin Flames and Penguins

I had the weirdest dream last night.  I forgot the other segments of it, but I do remember that Pierce Brosnan represented my Twin Flame in my dream.  He was actually flirting with me.  We were friends and he was showing me video clips of — this is where it gets weird — a waddle of penguins being fed …ermmm… the bodies of dead baby penguins.  And I thought to myself in my dream, “Oh, they’re cannibals!”

This is what the dream dictionary says about dreaming about penguins:  “It serves as a reminder for you to keep your cool and remain level-headed. Alternatively, seeing a penguin in your dream suggests that you are being weighed down by your emotions or by a negative situation. You need to find some balance and inner harmony.”

Now that I think about it, I think my dream wasn’t so strange after all.  In tarot readings, mine and others, my twin flame is mostly represented as the Emperor.  In my dream, the penguins were Emperor Penguins, and I don’t think that’s a coincidence (I haven’t seen a picture of a penguin in a while).

You see, the Emperor Penguin is at the number one slot in the “Top 10 Fathers in the Animal Kingdom” .  Here’s what the article says:

“1. Emperor Penguin – A Personal Sacrifice for the Good of His Young
Picture
The emperor penguin serves as one of the few examples in nature of a dedicated father. After the mother lays the egg, her nutrition levels are diminished and she must replenish them by feeding in the ocean for two months. The mother’s absence leaves the father responsible for keeping the egg warm through the freezing Antarctic weather.

While the mother is gone, the father spends two months holding the egg cautiously between the tops of his feet and his brooding pouch. During these two months, the father starves himself to prevent anything from happening to the egg. If the egg becomes exposed to the harsh temperatures or the father moves suddenly, the chick will perish. Therefore, the father’s sacrifice, dedication and balance ultimately ensures the survival of the chicks. What a dad!”

And that’s mostly what my twin flame has been working on these past years – the welfare of his children.  His marriage may have failed and his ex just conveniently shows up during milestones to get credit, but he almost single-handedly parented his kids.  I knew they were his priority when I met him.

An additional perspective of my penguin dream is this:

The penguin is a symbol of dreams, intuition and perception. It has a keen sense of the “underworld”. The penguin is a champion underwater. This is symbolic of “going below” – accessing deeper emotion, and having a perception that is anything but common. Penguins ask us to dive beneath the surface of reality. Therefore, penguins can be an aid in interpreting dreams and developing psychic ability.

In dreams, penguin meaning deals with connecting with our remote selves. We all have areas in our hearts and lives that we neglect. Those remote spaces where we dare not venture into. Whether from fear or denial, many of us chose to ignore these tender, isolated spots in our emotional makeup. We can tap into penguin power to access these spaces. Penguin will guide us into our icy realms and help us swim to a place of understanding and acceptance.

Part and parcel with this guidance is molting. Penguins molt, and that is symbolic of renewal. Penguins show us how to shed what is unneeded and unwanted. After releasing, penguins remind us that we can grow, regenerate, and come alive again with renewed vitality.

I think my dream confirms the message I got from one of the readers last night.  In her reading, she said the the masculine twin, although raring to go forward into union with the feminine upon realizing who she was in the grand scheme of things, will be thrown roadblocks by the Universe because he still needs some healing done.  This may delay the Union but it is necessary, and that is why God is asking him to slow down, so that he may be ready for ultimate union with the Feminine.

This has also been reflected in my card readings (by myself and others) about my twin flame journey.  He wants things done fast.  He is working behind the scenes to get everything in place so that when the time comes, everything will proceed smoothly and without a hitch.  In fact, in my recent readings, everything is in place already and I was wondering what brought about the delay.  I guess this is it.

He still needs to heal and process the fact that he’s done the whole parenting thing and it’s now come to completion.  That’s why the penguins were eating their young in my dream.  He still has to integrate that within himself.

And this brings me to the second part of my dream about “Pierce Brosnan”.  Why Pierce Brosnan?  I don’t know.  Maybe it ‘s because I still think he’s hot even if he’s mature in years, just like my twin. This time, it was as if I was viewing him through Facetime or Skype.  He was at a restaurant waiting for his meal.  We were still talking — well, basically flirting with each other, and he was enthusiastically describing this delicious triple decker burger that he was salivating for.  The weird thing was, I knew that the order he was waiting for was steak.

This was my twin’s message for me, undoubtedly.  After taking on the role of awesome dad, he’s telling me that he’s looking forward to nourishing himself next, and yes, with me.  I do think that the burger he was describing was MY order while he got the steak.  Umm… I wouldn’t object to eating steak too, ya know? That’s why it was via FT or Skype.  He was telling me to anticipate it; that we will be fed; that good things are coming; and that we will be sated.

So, as it turns out, my dream wasn’t so strange after all.  It was perfect.  And the Universe gave me the message in a way I knew how to decode.

Thank you, Universe.  Sending my love to my Twin Flame and to everyone out there who is on the same journey.