New Year’s Eve Dream

I was able to “extricate” myself out of Media Noche by telling my mom that I wasn’t going down because of the dogs and that I was giving Carlo a chance to celebrate with them.

I suppose I felt that a great burden had been lifted from me after that because I felt very tired even though I had gotten enough sleep the night before, and I took a nap.

Then I dreamt.

I was in my grandparent’s old house in Congressional Village where I remember many good times and spending most of my childhood in since both my parents were often at work.

There was a party and I had brought T, my reader, along to take care of my CB, my dog.

We were swimming in the clear blue waters of the pool and I brought CB with me.  Out of the blue, I saw this red car filled with people come out of nowhere, threatening to crash land into the pool.  I went under the spot where it was about to hit and crash and used the buoyancy of the water in order to “soften” the blow.

The car didn’t crash.  Instead, it landed on my shoulders in the water.  There were people inside the car trying to get out and the other people in the party were trying to get them out. Debris was all over the pool and the water turned murky and muddy because of the dirt that came in with the car.

I was frantic, looking all around for CB who was in the pool with me in the beginning, wanting to know she was okay.  I called out for her but she didn’t come.  Some other people were helping me out but they had summoned all sorts of animals but not CB.

I went out of the pool to look for her and eventually found her hiding somewhere.  I looked for T to tell her to bathe her while I took a bath myself.  T, by the way, was dressed in a purple gown, wrong for the occasion, but she probably thought she had to dress up to be in the party.

I was looking for a free bathroom upstairs.  The kids’ bathroom was occupied, so I went to the bathroom of my grandparents.  I don’t know why I dreamt up this particular detail, but my grandmother had a carousel of open conditioner sachets.

That’s it.

My interpretation:  Basically, it just says that before, I had good feelings about my family and everything, but even though I had been the one who had prevented them from crash landing,  spiritually and karmically speaking, that is, they already muddied the waters of my emotions and experience with their reckless behavior.

My reader being overdressed just reflects the way I am incredulous about their (her including my other reader) prophecies, that I feel they are telling me something better than what will really happen.

CB being there is just plain straightforward.  My dogs bring me comfort in this world of ungrateful, advantage-taking humans.

Happy New Year!  Just six more hours to next year.  My celebration is going to be a quiet and solitary one with my dogs.  I’m keeping expectations low this year.  I just want to thrive, get through this and go on with my “tour of duty”.  Fun and happiness are luxuries for me.  It’s the vexations that I want to throw out the window for good, thankless people included.

 

 

The Hold Out

I got a reading today.  Although my situation is a whole lot rocky especially on the domestic front, the cards (and my reader’s guides) are advising me to hold on because the storm will pass and the sun will come out soon.

Some highlights of my reading:

My now ex-friend JJ’s business and love life will reach Tower status if she doesn’t make things right with me.

Apparently, she thinks that I’m causing the havoc in her life right now and is distancing herself from me.  It’s the wrong way round.  The reason that nothing seems to come to fruition with her is because despite helping her out and showing her kindness and generosity of spirit, she didn’t treat me well.  Well, that’s actually a euphemism.  Betrayed would be the proper word.  Then again, I forgave her (three times now, by my count) and yet, she didn’t make good on those second chances.

Oddly enough, she’s one of the few people who know my divine aspect as dispenser of divine justice.  So that’s disappointing.  Neither my reader (who also knows her) nor I can give her a heads up too because this is a test that she has to figure out and pass by herself, not because she was coached.  I’ll be sad to lose a friend.  But again, I’m not a doormat.  If she doesn’t make amends, the trend will continue, and she’ll have no one to blame but herself and her foolish pride.

Better to stay under the radar for now where my parents are concerned.

I asked if I could just give them money next month, but the advise was to give some now otherwise, they’ll throw a shit storm by August when other things in my life are going well for me.

When I asked whether or not it was safe to surface, the cards said not yet.  It would be better if I didn’t talk to them first until I got myself properly situated with M.  That’s assuming, of course, that M would come in time, and I hope he does because too long of a hold out would just make me seem like a universal asshole.

My relationship with my dad will never be repaired.  My mom will continue to be user-friendly.  They will keep asking for money and emotionally blackmail me into giving it.

The Secret Wedding

So the advice was that when M and I get our act together and decide to get married, that I shouldn’t tell them because they will attempt to sabotage it.  I can only tell them when it’s a done deal.  I’ll have to explain to M my circumstances and he will understand and will want to take me away from my own private hell here.

I can’t introduce him to my family either because it will sour our beginning.  Not even my sisters.  My friends, yes, but not my immediate family because all of them have their own malevolent and resentful agenda against me.  The advise was to give us time to get used to each other and get settled down, before we let in the barbarian horde into our lives.

I’m going to be moving out first before the wedding so I don’t know how to keep that under wraps.  In any case, I don’t think it will be a problem once I announce it, especially if I preface it with the fact that they’ve been telling me to get my own place since they will be selling the house soon, and that here I am, finally complying with their dearest hearts’ wishes.

Kind of a very different scenario from my resort destination wedding that was prophesied at first, but I have to roll with the punches.  The “storm” I’m going through was foretold by my other reader in my birthday reading when she said that I’d have to face some challenges when I turn 40.  Yeah, this is probably it.

They’ll all be sorry.

I don’t say that in a vengeful sort of way, but I mean, they’ll literally say sorry and try to make amends to me.  M will be sorry that he’s strayed the path and delayed so many times, given in to temptation and all that, but from the time he arrives, he will make up for it.  That’s also the reason why he hasn’t spoken to me — he’s downing the cocktail of shame with a shot of remorse.

My dad will be sorry and will try to make amends, but only because he wants money, and to that, I say fuck him.  My mom will be sorry and try to be congenial but only because of money too.  The advise was to give them what they ask just so they get off my back for a while.

The Sun is Coming

Actually, my first and determining spread was really good.  I got the Sun card for the final outcome.  Right now though, I feel pained and desolate because, until it happens, I really don’t know for sure if I’m looking forward to something, but the cards say that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  Even when I read my own cards, that’s what it says.

So right now, my best option is to keep flying low under the radar, keep my cards close to my chest, and hold out for as long as I can, bending without breaking, like a bamboo in the wind.

God help me.  My higher self, spiritual team, and the angels, archangels, and the ascended masters too.