Monthly Archives: May 2017

Nightmares

Standard

No househelp today.  My trusty manservant and dog nanny had a death in the family so I’m homebound doing chores and taking care of the furkids.  For some reason, I woke up really early this morning so by mid-morning, I was down from a nap.

Anyway, I was still in my room (in my dream) and when I woke up and opened the door to the hallway, I saw several workmen installing air conditioners in the hallway. My shoe racks which used to line the hallway were gone, and in its place were lighting and desks. My mom was there, supervising the workers, and apparently, they were getting ready to redecorate and give the house I live in to my sister and her family without telling me.  They planned to scale down and buy a place of their own but didn’t include me in their plans. (Now, that is what is happening in real life).

So, in my dream, I just blurted out and asked them. I was following them around the house (my house was mansionlike in my dream) and they were laughing and talking excitedly with my sister.  I was asking my dad what would happen to me and he just shrugged.  And I kept saying that he was bad and evil and I was so distressed, I was crying and screaming silently.

So, those are my fears coming up to the surface. Again.

Advertisements

Forced LOA

Standard

Been down with the flu for the past 2 days where I spent most of my time just sleeping and wondering when my body malaise would just go away.  This came after I frantically rushed after my deadline at work in order not to incur the wrath of my boss.

So I wasn’t able to do the weekly readings nor was I able to do any work or make advances in any one of my projects.  I attempted doing some errands this morning, but that left me winded and weak.  I hardly have any voice and any sound that comes out of me sounds like a tortured frog, so readings are really out of the question.  Plus, I asked if I was well enough to do them and Spirit said no.  My head is starting to clear though, but because I can barely get any oxygen into my airways any sustained thought there is short-lived, lol.

I went from worrying how to do everything to not being able to do anything! Anyway, it’s all good.  A reset button, if you will.  I’ll know when I’m back in action when every little thing doesn’t get me cranky anymore.  Right now, only the company of my dogs are the ones that don’t irritate me.

I did get a reading last Friday about my dilemma about work vs. mission and the guidance I was given was to hang-in there until M comes around.  Just juggle and keep on balancing work, mission and other lines of business.  And when this flu finally hit, despite me wanting to carry on and get a headstart on my backlog in any of those areas, I just broke down crying and kept asking for assistance from my spiritual team, the angels, the Archangels and God.  I wasn’t even asking that my twin make an appearance and save me from making a choice, because I already know that regardless of the timing of when he makes his reappearance, I’ll still have to deal with this.

So this respite was good in that it forced me to rest, to detach myself from that frantic energy I had been living with in the past few weeks.  Being busy was good too because from what little I’ve skimmed through the TF groups, there’s a dissident faction out there insisting that all this TF stuff is make believe.  Basically though, they’re composed of the souls who have not yet embraced the concept of “no time” and want quick reward in the 3D timeline. I don’t blame them though. Maybe life would be happier just experiencing things in 3D; that is, if 3D is all you’ve experienced thus far.  If you’ve already merged with your twin if 5D, it’s very difficult to want anything else, especially if you’ve realized that it took you so many lifetimes to even come into that knowing.

I say it’s good that I was detached because, again, it keep clear focus if you don’t get involved in 3D politics.  I say politics because even though it doesn’t govern affairs of state, it’s how people interact which each other, trying to best each other’s school of thought.  It’s very 3D.  That’s why I was never attracted to Twin Flame teachers who jump on other people who may be misguided. Candace does that.  Says it brings out the — I forget which State she referenced — Detroit, maybe? — girl in her.  All that is tabloid and 3D drama, however which way you put it.

Does the sun have to convince the people on Earth that it shines? That it rises in the East and sets in the West?

No, it doesn’t. It just does.

And there will be people who may have been born inside a cave and lived all their lives in it, and the moment that they see sunshine, they will argue with you that no, life on earth is predominantly dark. In fact, sunshine is so rare that they don’t like it because they get blinded by it after having lived in a cave for so long.  But the cave is their home; their everyday; their life. So, no, they would not agree that sunshine is good for them.

There’s more to that analogy.  Unfortunately, brain has gotten foggy again and I think I need to lie down.  So until next time. Take care.

I Defer to My Higher Self

Standard

Around two months ago, my parents told me that their Original Household in this religious group they belong to, all of whom have since become family friends, decided to go on a reunion.  It would be a cruise to the Norwegian Fjords and then a sidetrip to Scotland and London.  Some of the children of their friends would come and they invited me to come along too, of course, at my expense.

I was so excited! I have never seen the Norwegian Fjords and would have wanted to go castle hopping in Scotland.  And, London? Well, that would be the shopping part of the trip.  I’ve been to London already.

So I eagerly checked if it would be viable financially on my end, and yes, I had enough to make it happen.  But something was nagging me at the back of my head, so I decided to ask Spirit through my pendulum.  I asked if I should go on the trip.  No. Whuuutttt??? But I want to!!!  So, I ask again.  No.   Aww, c’mon.  Why not? And of course, it doesn’t get answered that way.  I ask one last time and, again, the answer was no.  Hmph.

So I go to my mom, kind of deflated, telling her that I can’t go.  She asks me why.  I tell her that I asked Spirit and it said no.  I even show her the pendulum, ask the same questions and was given the same answers on the spot.  (Yes, I know, I can be pesky)  I didn’t know why I wasn’t given the go signal to go on that trip, but I defer to the Higher Guidance.

Eventually, I found out why.  My parents didn’t get to go on that trip.  Why? They weren’t able to get their visas on time because of their own complacence (i.e. one of those karmic things that I am trying to help them clear).  And with the plane fare and cruise fully paid for and non-refundable, that went down the drain.  There’s more to the story — their having to make a cover story to cover up their own negligence, yadayadayada — bottom line is that for the cover story to hold up, they had to spend mega bucks on top of what they had already spent and had no reassurance in recovering.

Here’s the almost creepy part — had I disregarded the advice and went ahead arranging for the trip, the visas, the ticket, the cruise — all that would have been arranged by my parents since I was merely tagging along and my money would have gone down the drain as well.

So, thank you, Spirit.  🙂 I truly appreciate the heads up.

*************************

I also had a Soul Dharma session today.  The reason why I asked for a session was because I was physically and emotionally exhausted with doing work and mission.  Work was getting too demanding and the pervading 3D energies at the office were actually getting me sad. And since I do not do readings or healings unless my vibration is way up there, I make sure that prior to doing mission work, I am energetically clear.  The thing is, this constant shifting from lower vibrations and higher vibrations is exhausting. Until it got to a point where the office or the work I do there repelled me.

That’s saying something because I used to enjoy doing my work.  I was good at it. But I also feel that it was clipping my wings somewhat; that I could not expand the scope of my mission because I didn’t have time for it; and I was beginning to resent work because it took up time that I could spend taking care of my health. I want to get back to Keto and to start exercising again, but at the rate I’m going now, I don’t even have time to cook healthy food for myself.  Well, part of that is just fat justification. I have someone to cook for me but the truth of the matter is that I’m stress eating.  Hence, the carbs. Ugh.

Anyway, the guidance I was given was that it would be in my highest good to resign from my work and take the leap.  After that, many doors, even doors I didn’t think would open, would open for me.  Of course, I had free will, but if I continue doing the office thing, it would continue to drain me energetically.

I was given a timeline too.  Three months.  And I think that during the session, I already made up my mind because I feel so unburdened.  I actually cannot wait to get out of that pressure cooker and reclaim myself, my time, and even my BMI. It feels liberating.  Aaaahhhh.

Okay, I have to go talk to my twin now.