Tag Archives: divine masculine

Wobbly

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First off, I apologize for the choppy post.  It’s past midnight and I took a sleeping pill since I need to wake up early tomorrow.

I got some much needed guidance from Jen today.  I actually felt the blocks in my heart clear and get the energy flowing again.

Turns out, my dream about D was important.  Jen said that even my TF’s kids were part of my soul group, and by him “paying his respects” — gosh, I need to change that phrase because that makes me sound like I’m dead — okay, “courtesy call” then, it was an acknowledgement that I was welcome in our soul group.  And, of course, it had to be D, who is a mama’s boy and is naturally opposed to my presence.

Basically, they’re still together, no emotional connection, but more like brother and sister.  However, between this Equinox and this — I forgot the term because really, since we only have two seasons where I live, all the changing seasons thing is actually irrelevant to my existence.  It’s just either sunny or raining. Anyway, whatever it was, it’s going to happen on May 1 — which, to me, is simply Labor Day. That period though — March 20 to May 1 — is set to be a big wave of awakening and recognition of the Divine Masculine of their Divine Feminine counterparts.

If I don’t stabilize in 5D, then he’s not going to “recognize” me.  Jen said I was wobbly right now, which was okay because we get that way sometimes.  I said that much of my frustration was because I was already that way BEFORE the fucking session.  In any case, all water under the bridge.  In order to stabilize in 5D, I have to be in the present, in the NOW and just continue to be thankful — be in a state of gratitude — no matter what 3D presents to me. She said that I had to take the lead because I am the Divine Feminine.  And, really, I should listen to my own readings because that’s exactly what I said also to the collective.

I did tell her about the fire in one of the malls that my TF designed.  And she said that that was an important sign as well.  Their egos are being dissolved by fire, like a phoenix rising from the ashes.  And, again, I said that too in my reading for this week which means I should listen to myself more, lol. She even told me to tell that to the collective and I said that I already did.

As regards the remaining 30% ancestral healing that needs to be done, Jen said that I didn’t need to clear anything anymore; that I had already cleared so much it was unbelievable. And of course, I told her about Linamarie, and she asked if she was a Twin Flame. I said I did see her in other TF boards but since I wasn’t active myself because I was hecka busy, I didn’t really know her.  She was just recommended and I did enjoy my first session with her, so I went for a second.

And, once again, I got advised that I need to get readings from people who vibrate higher than I do. This is the part where the eye-roll comes in. The thing is, I don’t know that until after I get the read.

And since I was pesky and needed validation, I asked her if she was sure that I didn’t need to clear anything anymore.  And she asked me what resonated with me more, her version or Linamarie’s?  I told her that I had already cut karmic cords with my family around three years ago and I was even given a promotion by the karmic board with that crown that they gave me.  And anything that I did after that was already my free will.  I could choose to leave and let them live out the consequences of not spiritually evolving, but I chose to stay.  And I felt that with my presence alone, they are improving and making better choices.

So there.  That’s that.  At least, a huge thorn has been lifted off my chest as regards that ancestral healing thing.

I told Jen that I kind of slid back into 3D mode and went into retail therapy to comfort myself and just kept buying bags.  I think my bag buying spree is over now.  I’m ready to go back to my “other Facebook”. With the exception of those bags that I didn’t quite like when it got to me, the rest are going to be part of my other line of business.

Okay, that’s it.  I need sleep.  Lots of work tomorrow.

 

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Trouble in Paradise

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I suppose it’s a good thing that I was busy with other things the past few days other than just lurking on the Twin Flame group pages.  Imagine my shock when I checked in and found out all sorts of drama going on — accusations of other twins being implanted with negative entities, this or that person taking sides, and all that bullshit. Other people making videos just to let other know where they stand.

So the person they were hailing as the Ambassador for the Divine Masculines has been — sort of quarantined — for ridiculous hypothetical accusations.  I’m not joining in a fray that’s purely ego driven. I think that part of the responsibilities of being a light worker is to be the clearest channel possible for Spirit’s messages to come through and that means taking off the shroud of ego in service and in life.

So, no, it’s not dark energies that’s been invading them.  That’s a cop-out.  It’s ego, plain and simple.  The thing is they’ve become instant celebrities — at least, in the Twin Flame niche — and they don’t know how to handle it.  Most of these twins have been very low profile in real life and here is “celebrity” all of a sudden, people looking to them for guidance and advice, and your basic preening about how they are with the “in crowd”. Now, if you haven’t been immersed in that kind of dynamic in 3D, it can get in your head and ego, and what results is an overrated power play amongst them, a virtual Animal Farm, so to speak.

Personally, I don’t have a problem in that kind of dynamic because I’ve always been in “that crowd”. So I know that it’s not a big enough deal to get all Game of Thrones for.

Anyway, I got my reading back from Starsoul Tarot, and my question was what else I had to do or my twin has to do in order to get into union.  Three things stood out: 1) that there was some sadness that I had to release regarding a place/memory/song that held much sentimental value for me because of my twin;  2) there was nothing else I needed to do because I did my homework and am now in mission; and 3) I need to have faith and believe in my twin because the long term relationship, the ring and the commitment were coming.

Well, as regards the first, last night I came from an alumni homecoming celebration of my school which was held at that hotel where I hold the most memories of my twin. I was actually hesitant to see that hotel again because I didn’t know how I’d react, but when I was there, it surprised me to find out that the place no longer held any sway for me. I looked at the lobby where we first met; I looked at the seats where we talked; I remembered each time he kissed me goodbye as I headed off to my car, and I thought to myself, “It is done.  It is complete.”  I’ve healed from that place. And the last time I was in that hotel, I was with my twin.

The second one, I’m just ecstatic about.  Okay, so everything I do from here on out when it comes to mission and energy work is just a bonus. There’s nothing else I have to do but be ready to receive.

The third point, on the other hand, is something I’ve already heard before along similar lines. Everything and more.  Better than I’ve ever imagined.  All the pain and hardships that I’ve gone through will melt away and seem insignificant compared to what’s coming. Or that I can have the whole shebang if I choose it.

Now, my dreams about the life me and my twin will live is already pretty much up there. So when she told me that it would be better than I’ve ever imagined — well, you can guess that I can’t grasp it because if it’s better than what I’ve imagined, I seriously do not know how much better. I simply can’t imagine it. So there, I won’t even try.

Surprise me.

 

My Twin and Ebay

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I think my twin just sent me a message through Ebay, LOL.

I’ve been rather detached (spiritually) from my Twin ever since I started mission.  My focus has been getting the word out and helping those who ask for healing or guidance.  It didn’t bother me though because even if I’m not in a “pining and whining” state, it doesn’t change anything.  I still love him.

He has been sending me signals though (mainly through syncs and song) that he feels he’s being ignored.  It was kind of like a kid throwing a tantrum and just hankering for attention.  I didn’t really indulge him though because, yeah, I’m tough love and all that.  The one who can resist puppy dog eyes from my dogs and crocodile tears from my nieces and nephews, lol.

Anyway, for a brief moment during my drive home, I was overcome with the emotion of overflowing love for him that I was crying and wiping my tears and just calling on my guardian angels to take over my driving since I was in such a state. Earlier on, I was shopping and bought Christmas decor quite gleefully since this was the first Christmas we’d spend “together”.  In love and about to get married — that’s how it felt.

When I got home, I quickly stepped into mission mode because Spirit was urging me to deliver messages to my subscribers.  You know, not straight on readings, but just teaching messages. I was intently looking for royalty free background footage as a workaround to me not showing my face on YouTube.

Sidebar — why do I not want to show my face on YouTube?

  1. It’s distracting.  Not that I’m butt ugly — far from it, but with some readers, I feel it’s getting to be an ego thing. I’ve been in the Broadcasting and Theatre fields so I do know how to “preen” for the camera; but that’s not the point during the mission.  It’s not about me.
  2. I don’t want to have to be concerned about make up and what I’m wearing and all that when I deliver Spirit’s messages.  I have enough of that in 3D.
  3. I feel that other folks’ first impression of me will be a hindrance to them actually getting the guidance they need.

It’s not that I’m shy — far from it. In real life, I can come off as intimidating sometimes.  If you remember the character Judy Dench played (the Queen) in Shakespeare in Love — well, that’s the vibe I give off. So I’m holding off on the up close and personal visual right now.

There are other reasons, but for now, I’m leaving it at my top three.

Now, back to my Ebay story.

While I was being a busybee searching for background vids to my voice-over, I checked my email and I had a message from a Seller I’d bought Shungite from. The strange thing was that I had this certain feeling while reading it that it really wasn’t from him,t but from my twin. In essence, he was apologizing for the delay in the package.  His phone (communication line) and wallet (finances) were lost and he had just realized I had a pending order. He then reassured me that he was shipping it out first thing tomorrow and that he would send bonuses because I had been so patient.

Since the arrival of my package was really time sensitive on my part (it had to coincide with my vacationing relatives still being there to bring it home with them), I decide to check where the item is coming from.

Guess what?  It’s from the state where my Twin lives.

Chills, right? It made me laugh out loud though and grin like a Cheshire cat.  Telepathically, I told him all was good.  I loved him and he could come when he’s ready.

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Review and Rewind

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For several weeks now, a renegade thought would just enter my head — what if my twin recognized that we were meant to be together before I did, and all this time he was just waiting for me to be ready?  What if all this time that I was thinking that he was the “slowpoke”, it was me that took the longest time to “come around”?  That I was actually the “unawakened one” instead of him?

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I shrugged it off the first time it surfaced.  Bollocks, that couldn’t be possible.  But the thought kept coming back, nagging at my subconscious. Still, it simmered there and although it took a while to seep past my ego, when it hit my core, I realized it was true.

It took a thread in one of my twin flame groups to tie this groundbreaking concept in my mind.  Someone had asked that everyone post something about their twin that they loved.  I said that I loved my twin because he is more infinitely compassionate and patient than I could ever be, but that with this TF journey, I felt that I was levelling up on the patience, lol. I wrote that answer on the spur of the moment, but soon realized that I siphoned out some truth out of my situation.

After all, he was already older and more mature when I had met him.  I was young and still hankering after the very human drama aspect of relationships then.  Plus, he was Pisces all around which made him very intuitive, if not psychic.  Perhaps he got what the essence of our connection was before I did? Maybe he’s not aware of what it’s called or all the twin flame lingo, but the recognition of the connection is there.

Last night, I finally asked the cards for confirmation of this.  It was a very insightful reading, practically screaming YES at me.  I could just imagine my guides slapping their foreheads in near exasperation and then patting themselves on the back for finally getting through to me, lol. Which also explains why I’ve had sudden bouts of bursting into tears the past couple of days where I apologize to my twin for being so slow on the uptake.  It’s like even if I had been energetically chasing him all these years, even if he liked me, even if he was attracted to me, even if he was tempted to reply to all those ignored messages, can you just imagine what self-control he’s had to exercise to not pre-empt our reunion in full glory before we were both ready?

If he is truly enlightened, then he would have seen/known where I was coming from, similar to the way I can tell if a person is coming from ego or not.  And like a teacher, he would be able to gauge if his “student” had already learned all that they needed to and was ready for graduation.

After bawling my eyes out at this epiphany and my full acceptance of it, the next morning, the first video on YouTube that I was called to watch was David Mills’ You can have your Twin Flame Union NOW. And it just confirmed further what I just realized to be true. Not only that, I was the 33rd commenter and the 33rd liker which just cements the confirmation.  This was more than just synchronicity.  This was a message I was meant to receive.

If I know it; he knows it.  We are already in Union now. I choose to be in Union with him now.  And we love each other… unconditionally, across time and space, through past lifetimes and other dimensions.  So what’s the problem? 🙂