There are butterflies in my stomach right now, which I’ve been choosing to ignore for the past couple of hours by mindlessly scrolling through my FB retail feed hoping to score some really good designer shoes. Yes, I do retail therapy. For the past months, it’s been tarot cards which shifted to crystals. After that, it was luxury bags, then now, shoes — which really doesn’t make any sense because I have more shoes than I can wear. I could go through several months without repeating wearing a pair of shoes. Actually, the same goes for clothes. That is, if there wasn’t a dress code every day.
Competitive shopping, bargain hunting — whatever you call it — it’s like cocaine to me. I get a high whenever I score.
Anyway, I digress. I was here to talk about the butterflies.
It is entirely possible that one of my dreams is coming true tomorrow. I will finally be getting a new car. My old trusty steed is a bit older than my years as a lawyer. It was given on my graduating year in law school by my parents. We were rich then. So it was top of the line, with sunroof and all the enameled borders with lux leather seats. My dad was in power then so it was easy to get vanity plates – my name and birthday. So you can imagine how difficult it was to give it away.
I was never much for distance driving so it was well kept. Mileage was low. Well-maintained and all that. Until my exodus to the US where my series of unfortunate events (the dark *years* of my soul) took place and my car was left with the care of my parents. Who lent it to my sister and brother-in-law. Who took it places. Far, far, places, carrying the heaviest cargo imaginable (i.e. sound stage equipment) and when I came back after a couple of years, not a thank you from them. Nothing. In fact, I had to track it down because he (bro in law) left it in some mechanic’s place were it was stored for more than a month because he didn’t have the moolah to “bail it out” and pay for the repairs.
In fact, it was so run down that, initially, I felt shame driving it. Especially whenever I would get together with my nose-up-in-the-air friends. If before, I was the “family car” where everyone got to ride because I was so generous with it, I took no passengers because the car was literally crumbling inside.
But I brought it back to life. That mechanic and his entire family have become close to me. So much so that if I break down wherever in the city, they come get me and bring me home. They deliver my car after repairs to my house. And I am so grateful to them for keeping my trusty steed alive.
I’m going to miss that car. I’m still going to keep it. I tried to sell it once and was told that it didn’t have resale value, lol. That it was just for personal use; that it was all it was good for. But that car got me places I needed to go. I know it’s ailments, how it coughs and sputters, which doors lock and which don’t (didn’t really worry about getting robbed or carnapped even if some of the doors could just be opened at will because even the carnappers would scoff and pick a better model to nick). I’ve drained its battery to empty so many times because of my “energy spurts”. And that car has brought me closer to God because every time it rains, I pray like I’ve never prayed before just so that it won’t conk out on the way home. That car was like my “Wilson” on Cast Away.
So I’m crying now as I write this and having mixed feelings. I am so, so grateful that I got to this point when, before, I lived under the premise of “until it gives out” and after that, I’ll make do. The people around me who know I’m getting a new car are making a big deal out of it. My dad is negotiating his pride that he’s having difficulty getting a new car and has to use one that his “nemesis” lent out to him when I’ll be getting a new one.
I can’t do anything about that.
On my end, I’m glad that it’s come before the rainy season because, seriously, I get so stressed out driving when it starts to rain. There was a time that the roof leaked into the car even. Imagine that. And I plan to fix “her” up once I get my finances in order again.
I feel that this is all part of the “new beginning” in store for me. Before, it was prophesied that my twin would get me a new car. And I banked on that. Prayed that he would come sooner so that I could get a new car faster. Turns out that I had to get it myself. No biggie. We do what we can in the now.
Okay. Tomorrow’s a big day. Good night.