Tag Archives: spiritual team

The Little or Big Cry

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I finally got a big chunk of sleep and while I did, I dreamt of my Twin.

I was billeted in the hotel where we used to meet whenever he’s in the country. I was accompanied, I think, by my aunt whom I used to live with in the US. I was in the hotel restaurant/cafe when he walked in with the karmic.  His whole family was with him.

I didn’t recognize him at first because he was smaller than the karmic and a whole lot older.  Normally, he towers over her at 6’3″ — she’s 5’4″, practically my height, but in my dream, he was almost shrivelled, kind of how Bilbo Baggins looked like in the Fellowship of the Ring as opposed to when he was played by Martin Freeman in the Hobbit.

I was observing them from where I sat in the restaurant.  And I could see that he was truly genuinely affectionate with her, wrapping her arms around her at times, holding her hand;  it was, I felt, as though he had totally forgotten about my existence in the midst of this domestic bliss.

She, on the other hand, was bigger and stockier than she usually is.  She was quite jolly and in love, wearing a monochromatic theme in silver — a long sleeved-cardigan with inner tank and loose fitting trousers. They were on a family vacation, and for some reason, in my dream, we were given the same room, a big one though.

I was wondering when I would approach him.  And my dream turned into some kind of vignette where I would go to places that he would likely visit — the golf course, in my dream — hoping to bump into him.

Last shot was me left in the room with the girlfriend of his eldest son, D. She was just chilling there and I thought to strike up a conversation.  She was very friendly and told me what it was like to be part of the family.  I asked her whatever happened to R, D’s ex, and she told me that R preceded her, and that was ages ago because D was now 29.  And if you translate that into human years, that would be six or more years into the future.

Wow.

That was it though. We never did get to meet up again in person; and I just found out what a lovely time he was having with his family. In my dream, I felt that he was completely smitten with the karmic, falling in love all over again with her.

So, I wake up thinking that maybe this is the “memory” or the sadness that I had to bring up and have a “little or big cry” about, that bit he told me about where he said that he could see himself growing old with her. I did ask my guides for a message before I slept, and for the first time in a looong time, I dreamt about my twin again.

In my dream, I decided not to approach him anymore because he was clearly, obviously happy. I wouldn’t go as far to say that I was happy for him, but I did feel that I had come to terms with the situation, accepted the fact that he was happy, and just let it go.

So, here I am, typing it all down before I forget. I still haven’t had that “little or big cry” about it, just a pervading feeling of sadness.  It could very well be true that, at this point in time, having been in separation for so long, that I’d been totally wiped out of his memory. Or that the power of the evil karmic has seeped into his bones causing him to age, shrink, and do her bidding over his free will — but that’s just wishful thinking on my part, that he isn’t doing this out of his own volition.

Perhaps this is supposed to be the memory that I’ve suppressed and that I need to unearth.  I hadn’t really thought about what he said in so long because it hurt.  He had already decided to spend all his tomorrows with “her”, regardless of what those days may bring.  He picked her.  He wanted to take a chance with her. He decided to stay with her.

And what did Hazel say I should do once this sadness comes to the fore?  Just release it. Let my defenses down with my sadness and feelings.  She said that this little bit is the only thing that’s blocking me from going towards my destiny; that I’ve been doing such a good job seeing things as energy that I’ve blocked off feeling this. So what I’m supposed to do is just feel this — btw, yes, I did have a cry while writing this — but don’t wallow in the sadness. Just let it go.

So I get it now.  That vision of him growing old with his family and totally forgetting about me was a fear that I’ve suppressed.  It’s totally at odds with me believing in him, in the path, and what the future holds for us as twin flames. It’s incongruent with the our nature as one soul coming towards each other for union after having spent several lifetimes apart in order to grow. So, there.  I acknowledge that it was a fear, but I embrace; I release it; and I choose to grow beyond that fear; to fully trust the Universe that the future it holds for me and my twin is better than anything I could have ever imagined. And, yes, that is in 3D, because energetic union in 5D and in higher dimensions, that’s already the goal. So what else could that pertain to but 3D where all illusion exists?

I can feel my vibration rise several notches higher now than when I started writing this post. And it feels good. So I thank my Higher Self and Spiritual Team for unearthing that memory which caused me so much pain and showing me what it is that I had blocked out in my dreams. I do, however, in my supreme and sovereign power, choose NOT to manifest it.

We are Creators, both you and I. Remember that.

 

My Funny Forever Valentine

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This is going to be short because I’ve just gotten done tweaking the last bits that need tweaking on my website (live now, btw, but still unpromoted) and it’s 3AM!

I think…. I think… I think that my Twin is getting hair implants!

I got a call on my Magicjack from an unfamiliar number and when I reverse looked it up, it was a prominent Hair Transplant salon, LOL.

Now, why do I find that funny? Well, it’s because since my twin is relatively almost two decades older than me, he’s been losing his hair, and that was a very worldly concern of mine.  I mean, I my standard line shouldn’t be, “Well, he had a full head of hair when we met, ya know?” Of course, I’d love him even without hair and all that, but it would really, really, you know, make my day, if he had done something about it.  Like, hair transplants or something like that.

I swear, it’s so shallow that whenever I would ask this question to my reader, even he would laugh. It was more of a “humour me” kind of thing.

Anyway, it sort of fits in with the QOD (Question of the Day to my Higher Self and Spiritual Team).  I asked them to give me a message on how my Twin was since I was so busy with mission and really couldn’t find time to consciously connect.

I had three answers today.

First, was a love song playing on the radio. I forgot the lyrics now, but it ran along the lines of how he would love me when we’d see each other again.

Second, was the 222s.  Two cars swerved right in front of me with plates that had 222s.  Well, I really think this was the answer to my other question.  I asked for messages regarding my Spiritual Business.  This is what the 222s mean from Ask-Angels.com:

The Angel Number 222

222 as an angel number is one of the more common sequences shown to those who are awakening to the presence and guidance from the angelic realm.

The Angel Number 222 has a very significant and powerful vibration. It contains the attributes of 2 and 22, the Master Builder Number of inspiration, big ideas and the focus and persistence needed to manifest big dreams into reality.
222 as an Angel Number has to do with manifestation, keeping in balance, and creating blessings on a huge and global scale.

When you repetitively see 222, it’s a message from the angels that you’re on the right track. You’re in the right place at the right time. Stay positive, know that your angels are supporting you, but remember to ask for angelic assistance.
222 offers assurance that things are and will work out for the best when you focus on your desired outcome, stay positive, go with the flow, and continue taking steps in creating your desired result.

The Angel Number 222 is a reminder to keep the faith, to stay focused on what you want rather than what you do not, and to trust that all is well, and everything is working out according to Divine will for the highest and greatest good.

The third one, was the mysterious dropped phone call.

So that’s it for today.  Oh — I’ve also been zonking out light bulbs and draining batteries so I need to do extra grounding work.

Anyway, I love my Twin! He’s funny.  And I do hope he does get that new head of hair, lol.

Portal Projectiles

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On my side of the world, it was September 8th, 2016 last night.  Since an energy portal was opening up, the first of the three — 9, 18, 27 — I thought to get ready for it.

I watched two videos of light language activations specific to the portal opening:

  1.  TWIN FLAMES LIGHT LANGUAGE BLESSINGS FROM OUR SIRIAN FRIENDS; and
  2. TWIN FLAMES LIGHT LANGUAGE FINAL RELEASE OF KARMA ACTIVATION.

While listening to these videos and letting the energy and light codes settle within me, I could feel the pressure on my crown chakra but I couldn’t really tell the movement of the energy as “Iamangelics” was narrating. I could tell that it affected me because my energy changed soon after.  I felt lighter, less fearful of the future.

I went to bed soon after that, asking my Higher Self and Spiritual Team for guidance through my dreams.  And my dreams were vivid! Except that I lost them as soon as I woke up because I wasn’t quite feeling well.

At around close to 5AM (who knows? Maybe it was really 4:44! haha, I don’t know. I didn’t look at the clock), I woke up with a very strange feeling — like I felt very hot and very cold at the same time. It’s like my body couldn’t decide what it would feel like.  It was very confusing.

I remember thinking to myself, “Am I sick? But this isn’t what sick feels like.” Normally, when I get sick in the middle of the night, I wake up with a gut wrenching feeling in the pit of my stomach and I know I have to rush to the bathroom with the runs. Very rarely do I have to throw up.  In fact, I can’t even remember the last time I threw up because I don’t get drunk anymore.

Long story short, my wondering what was besetting me was interrupted quite rudely by a familiar heave out of nowhere.  I jumped out of bed to rush to the bathroom but guess what? I didn’t even make it past the door. And I seriously felt like a tamed down version of the Exorcist projectile vomiting. This continued on in the bathroom until I didn’t have any left to spew and I set about cleaning up the mess so I could get back to bed and “mend myself” with rest.

I was fine in the morning after I’d gotten a couple of hours sleep.  It didn’t even feel like those days when I’d get sick the night before and I’d be afraid to take in anything for fear of becoming best friends with the bathroom again.  I just felt hungry which I only took as normal since I expelled everything inside me the night before.

So what was that all about?  I don’t think it was anything I ate because I had been clean eating the past week and didn’t take anything unusual. It certainly wasn’t a case of ingesting too much carbs because I didn’t.  I had a hunch it had something to do with the portal energies and I asked my Higher Self and Spiritual Team to confirm this.  I usually do this during the drive to work and then forget that I asked a question or that my Spiritual Team was given a “special assignment” for the day as soon as I get into work mode.

Every time I relax though — meaning I’m not in the middle of doing something, the answers come.  The first one was when I was on a break, and I was there smoking my ciggie by my lonesome.  A butterfly came up, the first I’d seen in the long time I’d been taking my breaks there.  It was rather big and I was just watching it fly about and then it fluttered right across my line of sight, very close to me.  I kept very still wondering if it would land on me, but it didn’t.  It just flew straight on.  There was a cat nearby getting ready to pounce on it, and for a second, I was scared it would catch it and it would die.  And when the cat attempted to pounce, the butterfly deftly avoided it. Whew.

The second sign came much later in the evening on my way home from entertaining myself with a movie and some shopping, lol.  I was very near my house already when I remembered my “question” and right there in front of me was a small tricycle (a common mode of transportation where I live) with the numbers 999 looming in front of me.

I asked; they answered.  Definitely, this was portal related.  Unlike other twins who have been talking about having headaches leading up to it or being told to rest and all that, since I’ve been so engrossed in being paranoid about my parents migration and the eventual problems it would cause me, I didn’t have time to feel anything else.  My theory is that when I finally “made myself available” for these activations and energies to work themselves through me, whatever clearing, purging, divine alchemical transposition they were supposed to do came hard and fast.  It was like a dam breaking because I had been fending it off the past couple of days.  It was like the energies displaced the volume of whatever was inside me so that had to be expelled.

You know, sometimes I feel like the dumbest starseed of the lot because I don’t get signs, visions, etc. as clear as the others seem to get. It’s like I have to piece things together all the time and it becomes another episode in the series The Little Lost Starseed. So I must be like the class goat or something.  Or maybe since I come from such a distant and ancient galaxy — my healer couldn’t even identify it at first, she could only tell that I’ve lived lifetimes in Pleiades and Orion but really wasn’t from there — that I hardly remember anything.

But I am from Lyra and my home was obliterated by some alien bad guys that’s why us Lyrans had to move to different galaxys.  That’s also most probably why I volunteered to be a twin.  You know, not really having a “home base” anymore, so sure, let’s go to Earth and see what’s there.  It’s just another adventure anyway.

But that adventure turned out to be several lifetimes separated from my twin who reminds me best of “home”.  And now, I’m tired and I want to go home.

 

Is He Really My Twin?

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That’s the question I’ve been asking my Higher Self and Spiritual Team for the past, maybe 48 hours.

It became more pressing to find the answers out when Allison Lessard mentioned in one of her latest videos that there have been clients who have been asking the same question, and she had to tell them, no, he’s not your twin but your karmic soulmate. And she went on to say that they spent 10, 20 years or so waiting and hoping for their twin, but in reality, all they were doing was being stuck in the same place, ditching their date with destiny and progress.

Was I one of those folks?  Out of the myriad of psychics who gave a thumbs up on my relationship with him, only three were skeptical and said no, we wouldn’t end up together.  One of those, in fact, was the one who had enlightened me on my Starseed origins and led me onto this spiritual path that I’m on now.  Ever since she told me that, however, I never went back to her.

However, since then, I have petitioned the Karmic Board to amend our soul contracts so that we would be together in this lifetime.  I’ve done this with the permission of his Higher Self who joined me in petitioning, and we’ve been granted dispensation.  Of course, this only happened after accomplishing what seemed like the Labours of Hercules, including retrieving the etheric counterparts of his soul fragments across time and space.

I’ve come to a point where I don’t seek out psychics anymore to answer that question, but I trust in the answers that my Higher Self gives me.  If someone else told me again that I was on a fool’s errand, I think I would fall apart.  I would be gambling my fragility and the delicate strands that hold me together on the opinion of someone whom I wasn’t sure if they were misguided or not.  In the end, I’ve chosen to take a gamble on my Higher Self and the messages they send me, when they choose to send me such.  After all, if at the end of my earthly life, during the time of reckoning, I find out that I was wrong on all counts and I ended up having lived a life not lived (yes, that sounds confusing, but you know what I mean), then I will either be sent back to start over and, at the very least, I’ll be remembering nothing until I am awakened once again. Even though the prospect of going through birthing pains prior to being enlightened isn’t all that enticing, what can I do?

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Anyway, this morning, before leaving the house for work, I asked again for an answer to my question.  As soon as I got into my car, his “love song” for me came on the radio — “Where My Love Goes”.  That made me happy, but, of course, I still had to ask.  It wasn’t a responsive answer, never mind that I liked it anyway.  Then, the numbers started appearing.  33, 55, 11, with the 33s repeatedly appearing, always in pairs.  They were in car plates, signages, billboards — double numbers until I got to the office.

During the drive home, after waiting out the downpour in a cafe, I felt the need for confirmation.  I asked again for a sign, a message, to tell me that I was on the right path.  As soon as I turned on the radio, upon leaving the parking area, guess what song was playing again?  Of course, since it was climbing up the charts, that made me skeptical.  Maybe I just had an awesome sense of timing, but with that song, I “heard” him telling me to be careful on the drive home because the roads were wet and slippery.

The paired numbers kept coming up again.  88, 77, 66, 55, 44, 33, 22, 11 – mostly in plates, in cab numbers.  They were there almost everywhere I looked.  Was this just coincidence?  Or were they telling me that we were actually a pair? That was my question just as I braked for the stoplight in a major intersection.  And just right then, a motorcycle eased in front of me with the plates — ND 282282. ND for “And” — then the number 2 for pair, 8 would be the symbol for twin flames upright, and the number 22 –

“Angel Number 22 encourages you to find this sense of balance and inner harmony in order to achieve a higher level of existence. By focusing on your personal needs, you can also get a greater understanding of your purpose. Guardian angels use these messages to provide us with the ability to find fulfillment through the actualization of our dreams.

If you are able to identify your journey, then you should also trust your instincts in pursuing your destiny. Angel Number 22 urges you to use your own judgment in order to reach these goals. Through proper personal harmony, you are more apt to be successful in your life.

Number 22 in numerology suggests that you stand strong in your personal beliefs and faith. If you put out positive and confident energy, you will be more open to the opportunities that will be presented to you.”

Then it ends with number 2 again, then 8, the symbol for twin flames.  The plate was actually a palindrome – 282 282 282 282 282 282 , ad infinitum, just like the eternal bond of twin flames.  I was being nudged with the answers again — a pair, twins, twin flames.

But because I’m always second guessing, I asked for confirmation, if what I had decoded in the blink of an eye — remember I was driving — was correct.  And they, too, had a quick answer — in my peripheral vision, a cab caught my eye because it swerved to merge lanes.  Its plate number — 118.  11 — the number of twins, again, the 8, its symbol.

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And because I’m a pesky intuitive (and I’m glad that my guides aren’t allowed to be exasperated with me), I still asked, Really?

Another cab caught my eye.  The cab’s number — 01.  Which I took to mean that we were one.  Hmmm, okay.

To reinforce, the number pairs kept popping up all the way home.  Who knows, maybe they’re very common and I’m just noticing it now.  So, do you think I have my answer?

And just as I revved up You Tube when I got home, I decided to continue watching a video I paused because I had to leave to go home.  It started where I had left off, and when I played it, the first words said was “So listen to the signs and messages that your guides are giving you.”  There was more, but I can’t remember right now.  I just thought that it was really creepy.  Oh! I remember now, she said something like, “You will question and you will doubt because now, you still cannot see” — it come to fruition or something like that, but that it was there and that we have to continue the journey and the path.

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And wow, when they answer a question, they really do answer the question! What do you think? I feel that if I ask one more time, I might get an etheric bonk on the head for being so pesky, lol.