Tag Archives: starseed problems

Portal Projectiles

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On my side of the world, it was September 8th, 2016 last night.  Since an energy portal was opening up, the first of the three — 9, 18, 27 — I thought to get ready for it.

I watched two videos of light language activations specific to the portal opening:

  1.  TWIN FLAMES LIGHT LANGUAGE BLESSINGS FROM OUR SIRIAN FRIENDS; and
  2. TWIN FLAMES LIGHT LANGUAGE FINAL RELEASE OF KARMA ACTIVATION.

While listening to these videos and letting the energy and light codes settle within me, I could feel the pressure on my crown chakra but I couldn’t really tell the movement of the energy as “Iamangelics” was narrating. I could tell that it affected me because my energy changed soon after.  I felt lighter, less fearful of the future.

I went to bed soon after that, asking my Higher Self and Spiritual Team for guidance through my dreams.  And my dreams were vivid! Except that I lost them as soon as I woke up because I wasn’t quite feeling well.

At around close to 5AM (who knows? Maybe it was really 4:44! haha, I don’t know. I didn’t look at the clock), I woke up with a very strange feeling — like I felt very hot and very cold at the same time. It’s like my body couldn’t decide what it would feel like.  It was very confusing.

I remember thinking to myself, “Am I sick? But this isn’t what sick feels like.” Normally, when I get sick in the middle of the night, I wake up with a gut wrenching feeling in the pit of my stomach and I know I have to rush to the bathroom with the runs. Very rarely do I have to throw up.  In fact, I can’t even remember the last time I threw up because I don’t get drunk anymore.

Long story short, my wondering what was besetting me was interrupted quite rudely by a familiar heave out of nowhere.  I jumped out of bed to rush to the bathroom but guess what? I didn’t even make it past the door. And I seriously felt like a tamed down version of the Exorcist projectile vomiting. This continued on in the bathroom until I didn’t have any left to spew and I set about cleaning up the mess so I could get back to bed and “mend myself” with rest.

I was fine in the morning after I’d gotten a couple of hours sleep.  It didn’t even feel like those days when I’d get sick the night before and I’d be afraid to take in anything for fear of becoming best friends with the bathroom again.  I just felt hungry which I only took as normal since I expelled everything inside me the night before.

So what was that all about?  I don’t think it was anything I ate because I had been clean eating the past week and didn’t take anything unusual. It certainly wasn’t a case of ingesting too much carbs because I didn’t.  I had a hunch it had something to do with the portal energies and I asked my Higher Self and Spiritual Team to confirm this.  I usually do this during the drive to work and then forget that I asked a question or that my Spiritual Team was given a “special assignment” for the day as soon as I get into work mode.

Every time I relax though — meaning I’m not in the middle of doing something, the answers come.  The first one was when I was on a break, and I was there smoking my ciggie by my lonesome.  A butterfly came up, the first I’d seen in the long time I’d been taking my breaks there.  It was rather big and I was just watching it fly about and then it fluttered right across my line of sight, very close to me.  I kept very still wondering if it would land on me, but it didn’t.  It just flew straight on.  There was a cat nearby getting ready to pounce on it, and for a second, I was scared it would catch it and it would die.  And when the cat attempted to pounce, the butterfly deftly avoided it. Whew.

The second sign came much later in the evening on my way home from entertaining myself with a movie and some shopping, lol.  I was very near my house already when I remembered my “question” and right there in front of me was a small tricycle (a common mode of transportation where I live) with the numbers 999 looming in front of me.

I asked; they answered.  Definitely, this was portal related.  Unlike other twins who have been talking about having headaches leading up to it or being told to rest and all that, since I’ve been so engrossed in being paranoid about my parents migration and the eventual problems it would cause me, I didn’t have time to feel anything else.  My theory is that when I finally “made myself available” for these activations and energies to work themselves through me, whatever clearing, purging, divine alchemical transposition they were supposed to do came hard and fast.  It was like a dam breaking because I had been fending it off the past couple of days.  It was like the energies displaced the volume of whatever was inside me so that had to be expelled.

You know, sometimes I feel like the dumbest starseed of the lot because I don’t get signs, visions, etc. as clear as the others seem to get. It’s like I have to piece things together all the time and it becomes another episode in the series The Little Lost Starseed. So I must be like the class goat or something.  Or maybe since I come from such a distant and ancient galaxy — my healer couldn’t even identify it at first, she could only tell that I’ve lived lifetimes in Pleiades and Orion but really wasn’t from there — that I hardly remember anything.

But I am from Lyra and my home was obliterated by some alien bad guys that’s why us Lyrans had to move to different galaxys.  That’s also most probably why I volunteered to be a twin.  You know, not really having a “home base” anymore, so sure, let’s go to Earth and see what’s there.  It’s just another adventure anyway.

But that adventure turned out to be several lifetimes separated from my twin who reminds me best of “home”.  And now, I’m tired and I want to go home.

 

Rise of the Phoenix

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qWUMhQc

That’s yesterday’s Astronomy Picture of the Day (APOD) courtesy of NASA.  It’s edited to highlight the figure and some folks at Reddit suspect that the original unedited pic would look like this:

BtKNBC5

Still and all, it gave me quite a different vibe upon chancing upon it.  I felt like it was a code, a sign, a message from our kin way up there in the stars.  The fact that this display of Northern Lights encompassed several constellations, including Pleiades and Orion, makes me even more certain of it. I still don’t know what the message is, but I can feel that it’s positive.

Actually, before chancing upon this picture, I had quite a vivid dream the night before.  I was in a very high place, somewhere white, and there was an escalator before me that I had to get on.  Getting down was steep and long and it reminded me of this:

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But I went on it anyway, even though I found it quite boring. It was a single strip of escalator, and I could vividly see the black plates that brought me down.  All of a sudden, it gained speed, and I could see the rest of the escalator stretch out before me.  I was moving on it faster and faster, and then, in “down the rabbit hole fashion”, the escalator suddenly sloped like a roller coaster and since it was going down fast, I was quite enjoying myself on it, thinking (to myself, in my dream) that once it was over, I’d go on it again, even if the climb was steep. (Well, I didn’t actually know in my dream whether or not it was going to be a climb or there was a lift to take me to the top again.  I simply assumed, again, in my dream, that it was easy to get back to the top to repeat the entire experience.)

That’s the first part of my dream.

The second part, although seemingly a continuation, I will discuss separately because it has two meanings.

Anyway, when I got down, I realized that I had just smooshed my Iphone. It wasn’t shattered into pieces, just “smooshed”, like a big fat giant had sat on it.  Actually, I was the one that had sat on it since I was riding the escalator like a child sliding down the banister of stairs, but I didn’t see that part happen in my dream.  I just knew that that’s how it happened.

I was checking out my phone to see if I could revive it, and after a few minutes of worrying and panicking, the smooshed phone popped back into its original form.  Okay, problem solved.

Then, I woke up.

I took heed of the dream.  Felt that my Intuition was telling me “Don’t forget your phone”, “pay attention to your phone” and that I had to watch out for my phone.  After a bit of googling and checking out messages in the morning, I made sure to charge it a bit so that it would be tip top shape as far as the battery was concerned.

Long story short, in the morning rush trying to get out the door to do the day’s business — I FORGOT MY PHONE. Sheesh.  This is certainly one of those times when I have to thank my Intuition for reminding me and, yet, kick myself for being so human and forgetting the reminder. Kind of makes me wish that Intuition had an opt-in “second alert” like Google Calendar, you know.

As for the first part of my dream, I couldn’t decipher it at first.  Those dream dictionaries were telling me conflicting things.  Some say that dreaming of an escalator was auspicious and that things would be on the up and up, especially when it came to my romantic life.  Then again, there’d be a proviso saying quite the opposite in those cases where one was riding an escalator that was going down.

I couldn’t quite reconcile that with the ecstatic feeling I had in my dream despite the fact that it was travelling down.  Then, it kind of dawned on me that I needed to look at the bigger picture of this dream.  So here’s the analysis I eventually settled into:

The escalator signifies my starseed journey into being human.  For a very long time — and I’m talking lifetimes here — I went through the experience.  Rather humdrum but something I had to live through.  And now that I’m nearing the end of my human journey, remembering what I have to, nearing reunion with my Twin Soul, it’s going to be quite enjoyable from here on out.   So much so that despite the sluggish beginnings through several floors of the escalator, the part when it becomes a thrilling roller coaster ride would be something I’d want to go through again.  That’s why I was going “down”.  It didn’t mean a descent to something decrepit (although the human condition can be so at times), but just that there was nowhere to go but down, especially if you’re coming from “up there”.

The phone part of my dream has an alternate meaning too.  Phone = contact. Broken phone means that I lost contact with those who put me on the escalator in the first place.  But, as in real life when I’ve just rekindled my connection with my galactic ancestors, I got my “transmitter” working again.  Yeahhhh, baby.  E.T. is finally phoning home!

Wait, that’s not all.  After I finished my earthly duties (a.k.a. deadlines at work), I still got flooded with signs confirming all of the above.

I was driving home in a semi-dazed, empty state. Not particularly agitated, belligerent, or anxious, but, you know, the kind where you’re empty but aware.  Then there was this vehicle in front of me with these big letters espousing the company motto that said, “We’re changing lives.”  And the make of the car?  HILUX.  High Lux.  Bright Lights.  Big influx of light.

My antenna went up.  Maybe this was just a fluke?  Next car I see, again, another Hi-Lux.  As if they were that common.  Next one that catches my eye has the words “New Era” on it.  And the next one is an Innova.  And the next one says, “Novaliches” which means New City.

 

Message received.  Loud and clear.  The new influx of energies will be crucial in building a new paradigm for humanity.  And this is what I have to anchor next or what I am currently anchoring.  No wonder I’ve been restless the past couple of days, on edge, nervous but not anxious.  Maybe my circuitry was being upgraded to anchor in the new energies or the energy was just high frequency and that was the effect of imbibing it.

I decide to check Vanessa Lamorte’s YouTube channel to see if there have been any transmissions.  She’s an intergalactic shaman, if you don’t know her.  And, again, this confirms my hunch.  She posted a brand new video: Cosmic Frequency Update: Light Language Transmission for Clarity & Purification that pretty much confirms the messages I’d been getting the entire day.

I watched the video and as soon as the light language channeling from the Lyran, Syrian and Arcturian Council came through, I could see in my mind’s eye the illuminated codes actually going into my heart space and planting themselves there.  I found it kind of disconcerting because it was all so clear.  Like watching it on HDR, and the codes contained symbols I couldn’t understand.  I’m not worried though.  The human in me may not be able to translate it, but I have no doubt that the Starseed in me got what I was supposed to get.

Wait.  There’s more.  I just realized that the OST I had been listening to all day long (also something I had just come across today when looking for focus music while working), is from “Ori and the Blind Forest”.  Orion.  One of the constellations over which the Phoenix (above) formed. Which also brought me to that song by Prince — Arms of Orion.  Take a look at the lyrics:

Orion’s arms are wide enough
To hold us both together
Although we’re worlds apart
I’d cross the stars for you

“In the heart of a sleepless moon”
“I’ll be with you forever”
“This is my destiny”
“‘Till my life is through”

[Chorus]
The arms of Orion that’s where I want to be
Since you’ve been gone
I’ve been searching for a lover
In the Sea of Tranquility
I’m drowning without you here, my dear

When I am lost and feeling alone
I just look to heaven
I find my comfort there
God only knows where you are to night

“God only knows where you are to night”
“Maybe time will tell me”
“‘Till then I’ll close my eyes and say a prayer for you”
(I’ll say a prayer for you too)

[Chorus]

Orion’s heart is bright enough
To shine on both of us
The constellations never fail
To light the way for love

‘Orion’s arms are wide enough’
To hold us both together
“Although we’re worlds apart”
(‘I’d cross the stars for you’)
“I’d cross the stars for you”

Okay.  I think I’d better stop now.  This is getting creepy and I’m getting overwhelmed with messages. I’m kind of scared to sleep now because I might get something in my dreams.  I know I shouldn’t be scared, but the synchronicity of it all is weirding me out. I won’t even begin to tell you how many words I misspelled today.  Yes, me, the consummate grammar and spelling nazi.

Something is going on and it’s telling me to focus on it. Oh, boy.

Total Eclipse of the Heart

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TotalEclipse2016Mar4

I watched the livestream of the Total Solar Eclipse this morning.  In my part of the Universe, it could only be seen partially, so the sun seemed like an oddly shaped Apple logo with a bite taken from it.

They say that this Eclipse in Pisces will transform old wounds into new strengths.  I learned that after the fact, after the eclipse was over, and I was wondering what it meant for me, and for all of us.  Frankly, the energy from the eclipse made me weep while it was ongoing, and now, I feel it still finding its way into incorporating with my own energy.

I can only describe it as being overwhelmed and bored at the same time.  My mind can’t seem to settle on any one thing.  I didn’t get any work done at the office.  I left the office early to dilly dally at the mall, but ended up bringing an insane amount of documents with me because I couldn’t decide what to do so as not to get bored.  But here I am writing this instead.

I feel like a chicken running without its head.  And in the back of my mind, I’m wondering if I would feel less affected if I didn’t bask in the sun while it was all happening or if it wouldn’t have made a difference.

Three days ago, it was M’s birthday and I texted him a greeting.  Status is read, but no reply.  I asked for guidance after that and my reading was reassuring although until I actually hear from him, I don’t think I will ever be reassured.

Now, I feel like I’m walking on coals and have to sidestep everything so as not to get burnt.  That’s me inside.  Like there’s this great big storm raging, the wind is howling, the rain is beating on windows and pavements, and trees, it’s cold and I’m just wishing that this would all be over, the calm would begin and the sun would start shining through the clouds.

How I wish to finally know the answers.

lyran_empire2

On the other hand, I did learn that I am a Lyran Starseed, courtesy of another Arcturian Starseed I recently met.  My soul teacher couldn’t confirm which star I came from before.  All she said was that it was far away, that it wasn’t the Pleiades or Orion although I had spent several lifetimes there too.

And this is why, when I had an energy exchange with that sketchy psychic (I just say sketchy because I “felt” that he wasn’t upfront with his motives), the energy I saw was white, gold, and yellow — part of the energy signature of the Lyrans.  And no wonder why, when I bought a crystal from him, he had implanted it with some energy vampire spirit to siphon off my “very rare” energy (according to him).

My guides were alert that time, and I was given the right signs and signals to veer away from him before he did too much damage.  Still, knowing that I used to live in a Utopian society where the grass was pink, the skies were blue and violet and there was love all around, and knowing that I can’t ever come home because some hostile alien race blew up my home to pieces isn’t all that comforting.

So there’s one answer.  I can never come home; I will never call anything home — I am the Eternal Wanderer.

Lyran

I did come across the sigil to connect me with my Lyran kin.  (No, it’s not the graphic above.) It’s the wallpaper on my phone now.  I look at it, meditate on it, and feel that I’m not truly alone.  We’re still out there, just far, far away from each other.

My research about the Lyrans led me to Vanessa LaMorte, an intergalactic shaman who channels messages from the Lyrian-Syrian Council.  She speaks in light language and it is entrancing to listen to.  I wish I could speak it. It would be great to bestow blessings in light language or to even come into contact with galactic beings who are friendly.

When I asked my reader, the cards said that I was still being prepared; that they were waiting for me to heal.

Anyway, I hope I get some answers soon. This eclipse has been really disconcerting.

 

 

Call Me Grumpy

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I was an absolute grump tonight at one of the last socials of the holiday season.

For context, in my country, the holiday season starts late September and lasts until mid-January.  I know, it doesn’t seem to make sense, but despite all the parties we’ve attended the prior year, there is a two week window for post-holiday celebrations with the groups of friends that you weren’t able to meet up with because one’s social calendar was already jam-packed before New Year.

And now, I’m exhausted, congested, irritable and with no filter.  Even my best friend was getting on my nerves with her name dropping and constant pursuit of gourmet food, Michelin-starred chefs, designer bags, and travel.  I just found it to be so pretentious, but I suppose had I been in a better mood, I would have just ignored it and not let myself be bothered by it.

Part of my angst was the realization that, after getting together with all my various groups of friends, that I was indeed financially poor. No, I can’t buy that Hermes Birkin on a whim.  I can’t just get a new car even if mine is already falling apart and I have to indian sit by the roadside because all I can afford is to superglue the driver car door handle so that I can get inside it.  I can’t just join in the conversation that starts with, “We were planning to go to Greece this summer.”  Or have a ready answer to, “We’re going to Vegas for our reunion; are you going?”

And although I know that these conversations are inevitable in this worldly dimension, that happens to be the dimension I’m living in right now.  Yes, there are moments when the more divine part of my nature shines through and there is respite somewhat, but this dimension is where I’m at right now.  Here.  In this world, in this time, in this place — where I happen to be poorer than my companions.

So, I suppose that since I’ve thrown my love life out the window for the moment, that the creation of wealth will be my preoccupation the rest of my days.  How very  hoi polloi of me.

Anyway, I think my loner side wants to kick in.  I need some peace, quiet, and serenity. Even just to come to terms with how stupid my pre-soul contract self was.

There’s an incongruence between what the cards say, what my guides say, what the signs say and what my reality is, and I can’t figure it out.