Call me silly, but I’m wearing the wedding dress I picked out for my civil wedding today. I figured, if M doesn’t come at all or make contact with me, I may not get to wear it and the white will just yellow out from lack of use. That would be such a shame since it’s such a pretty dress.
So I wore it anyway. According to the cards, both mine and my reader’s, M was supposed to fix things with me last October, November, and even this month, December. So, I waited, and still, nothing. Even when I considered the possibility of another person coming into my life, the answer was still the same. Wait for him. He’s got things planned. Everything will come as a surprise.
But still, nothing.
I’ve asked my Higher Self, my Spiritual Team, my angels, the Archangels, the Ascended Masters, and the members of the Karmic Board.
Our soul contracts have both been amended. His soul fragments have been retrieved (by me — and yes, that was a tough one). The earth-bound persons and spirits interfering with both our free will have been exorcised and banished (with no less than the silver platinum ray). And whenever I ask the spiritual authorities for confirmation of all these things, the answer is positive. So, in that realm, everything seems to be in order for our union here in the Third Dimension.
As above, so below.
So where’s the block?
My reader now is on the verge of giving up on M because despite being accurate in most, if not all, readings that he gives me, all his predictions about M don’t manifest. And, yes, he is starting to sound like a fool, and I, the bigger one, for believing in him.
In his readings and mine, everything seems to be ready. It’s as if the “execute” button is just waiting to be pressed, and everything will start to unfold with surprising alacrity.
In my readings though — which I do trust since they jive with my reader’s cards even though I have no idea which cards to pick at the time — there are two “off ” cards which I do not wholly understand which repeatedly appear — the Devil and the Eight of Swords. I couldn’t tell if they pertained to him or me.
And today, while I was searching for answers, I chanced upon an article that mentioned the Law of Universal Detachment. I don’t think it’s just a random thing since from experience, I generally get the answers I seek. I’m a firm believer in “Ask and you shall be given.”
I think that those two cards pertain to me. That, as long as I am attached to the outcome, it won’t manifest.
The good news is I’m well on my way to getting detached. This dress, for example. I figured that if he does come and I do have to wear something for the wedding, then I’ll just have it cleaned. Wearing it doesn’t mean that I won’t ever have the chance to wear it again. Besides, as I do believe in “Prepared Redundancy”, I have a wedding dress back-up. So I don’t know if it really counts.
Another issue I have in letting go is the fear of getting someone else that is subpar from what I wished to create. Say you asked for a red BMW. Allowing the Universe to deliver, might mean ANY red car. I suppose that’s okay if you asked for a car, any car, just as long as it’s red. And I sort of feel that accepting whatever manifests is a subversion of my free will.
So, in the scenario that I’m creating with M, along with its associated perks, he would be the base ingredient. The rest is preferable, but negotiable.
If I turn over the reigns to the Universe, and I have an order which is much more complicated than just your “usual burger and fries”, will It just give me any guy? A replica? Premium quality? Is It expecting me to say, “Thank you. This will do,” instead of “Excellent job! You got it right!”
I suppose the Universe doesn’t care as long as It delivers. Order a plate of scrambled eggs and even if you get them fried, it doesn’t matter because they’re still eggs. But you didn’t want fried eggs; you wanted them scrambled.
Does that make me a tough customer? I suppose so. I’ve always been that way.
So if the Universe is going to give me some version of M anyway, what’s with all the guidance with the cards?
At this point, does it even matter? (Yes, it does.) Well, I’m all out of options anyway as regards him. The Universe has me beaten to a pulp, and I can’t really say that the journey was “enjoyable” to get to this point. No. Definitely not. It was arduous, miserable, painstaking, and filled with loneliness and suffering. And that’s still without the treacherous backstabbing of my family.
What’s more, giving up at this point feels like I’m giving up on the Universe’s awesome power to deliver. It’s like telling an actor, “Give me your best,” and when they deliver, you get to say, “Is that it? Oh, well, I guess that’s it.”
And I’m just hoping it will be the same as when I pronounced Maximus an utterly dumb dog when he turned out to be smarter than most. (Seriously, he can pick out “platypus” from a range of toys laid out for him to pick from).
I suppose I want to be surprised, and awed, and amazed at how the Universe, with Its infinite power, can deliver something greater than I expected regardless of the fact that my standards were high in the first place.
I want to see how It works things out while respecting my free will, my preference in this lifetime, to be with him.
Anyway, I’ve taken my first step towards detachment. Just a couple of minutes ago, I sent him a message wishing him well. It doesn’t even say “delivered” like it used to before, so maybe he’s blocked me or, at the very least, giving the benefit of the doubt, it’s on “airplane mode”. Still, I shouldn’t care right? The only thing I should care about is that I sent the message. If we are indeed star-crossed lovers, then at some point in time, he’ll get to read it. Whether it will be too late for the both of us then, what else can we do about it?
If he does get the message and chooses to ignore it because he’s got his own thing going for him, then, that’s it, I suppose. Again, what else can be done?
If he chooses to respond and it’s good news for me, then well and good.
If he chooses to respond and the outcome is negative for me, then, I have no choice but to roll with the punches.
In any case, today was a good day to do this. In my wedding dress; for a wedding that didn’t happen.