Tag Archives: messages

The Crystal

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I took a nap late afternoon and I held an apophylite crystal while doing so, so that I could connect with the higher realms while sleeping and, maybe, they could give me a message.

So, I did have a dream and it was rather weird.

I was in an unfamiliar place which was apparently our house.  There was fighting outside, armed men, but our house was unaffected.  There were two people, a man and a woman — or a woman and child — I can’t remember — who sought shelter by the front steps leading to the main door.  I remember checking them out and telling them that they could not come in as I did not know them.

Then when I went inside the house, it was like the first time that I saw it.  There were beddings laid out in the living room and my sisters were there. It was like a sleepover but in our living room.  I remember that one of the bedbags was red.  Anyway, they were making themselves comfortable and lounging around.  Then I looked around the house and I said, “Wow, this house is really small.” And I was saying that in the context of our other houses that we’ve lived in because it was smaller than any of those places.

Then I looked at the crystal I was holding which was really really big, at least in my dream.  The actual crystal I was holding was a little smaller than a marshmallow, the ones you put on the end of a skewer when going camping, but in my dream, you’d need to put both your palms together to hold it.

In any case, I was looking at it, and then it broke up! The terminated point of the crystal got dislodged from the body.  And the rest of the body, when I looked at it, was a cloudy gray.  It wasn’t the crystal itself but sort of like a covering — wait, let me think how I can describe this accurately — imagine Cling-wrap but make it matte and gray and it was covering the crystal.  And then, as I tried to remove the wrap, the crystal disintegrated into little pieces.

I thought at first that this was just residual images of my subconscious since before I slept, I did a reading for my twin and asked him how his birthday was overall (we are in separation).  And in my reading, one of the cards was the High Priestess, clarified by an old woman in crutches and sterility (mountain).  And I read that as he didn’t have access to his Intuition or something like that. But moments after waking, Spirit nudged me and said that it just meant that I was the High Priestess and since I didn’t move or greet him, that’s why it turned up. That made sense.

I still don’t get the house and the crystal breaking up and turning gray.

 

My Twin and Ebay

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I think my twin just sent me a message through Ebay, LOL.

I’ve been rather detached (spiritually) from my Twin ever since I started mission.  My focus has been getting the word out and helping those who ask for healing or guidance.  It didn’t bother me though because even if I’m not in a “pining and whining” state, it doesn’t change anything.  I still love him.

He has been sending me signals though (mainly through syncs and song) that he feels he’s being ignored.  It was kind of like a kid throwing a tantrum and just hankering for attention.  I didn’t really indulge him though because, yeah, I’m tough love and all that.  The one who can resist puppy dog eyes from my dogs and crocodile tears from my nieces and nephews, lol.

Anyway, for a brief moment during my drive home, I was overcome with the emotion of overflowing love for him that I was crying and wiping my tears and just calling on my guardian angels to take over my driving since I was in such a state. Earlier on, I was shopping and bought Christmas decor quite gleefully since this was the first Christmas we’d spend “together”.  In love and about to get married — that’s how it felt.

When I got home, I quickly stepped into mission mode because Spirit was urging me to deliver messages to my subscribers.  You know, not straight on readings, but just teaching messages. I was intently looking for royalty free background footage as a workaround to me not showing my face on YouTube.

Sidebar — why do I not want to show my face on YouTube?

  1. It’s distracting.  Not that I’m butt ugly — far from it, but with some readers, I feel it’s getting to be an ego thing. I’ve been in the Broadcasting and Theatre fields so I do know how to “preen” for the camera; but that’s not the point during the mission.  It’s not about me.
  2. I don’t want to have to be concerned about make up and what I’m wearing and all that when I deliver Spirit’s messages.  I have enough of that in 3D.
  3. I feel that other folks’ first impression of me will be a hindrance to them actually getting the guidance they need.

It’s not that I’m shy — far from it. In real life, I can come off as intimidating sometimes.  If you remember the character Judy Dench played (the Queen) in Shakespeare in Love — well, that’s the vibe I give off. So I’m holding off on the up close and personal visual right now.

There are other reasons, but for now, I’m leaving it at my top three.

Now, back to my Ebay story.

While I was being a busybee searching for background vids to my voice-over, I checked my email and I had a message from a Seller I’d bought Shungite from. The strange thing was that I had this certain feeling while reading it that it really wasn’t from him,t but from my twin. In essence, he was apologizing for the delay in the package.  His phone (communication line) and wallet (finances) were lost and he had just realized I had a pending order. He then reassured me that he was shipping it out first thing tomorrow and that he would send bonuses because I had been so patient.

Since the arrival of my package was really time sensitive on my part (it had to coincide with my vacationing relatives still being there to bring it home with them), I decide to check where the item is coming from.

Guess what?  It’s from the state where my Twin lives.

Chills, right? It made me laugh out loud though and grin like a Cheshire cat.  Telepathically, I told him all was good.  I loved him and he could come when he’s ready.

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My Funny Forever Valentine

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This is going to be short because I’ve just gotten done tweaking the last bits that need tweaking on my website (live now, btw, but still unpromoted) and it’s 3AM!

I think…. I think… I think that my Twin is getting hair implants!

I got a call on my Magicjack from an unfamiliar number and when I reverse looked it up, it was a prominent Hair Transplant salon, LOL.

Now, why do I find that funny? Well, it’s because since my twin is relatively almost two decades older than me, he’s been losing his hair, and that was a very worldly concern of mine.  I mean, I my standard line shouldn’t be, “Well, he had a full head of hair when we met, ya know?” Of course, I’d love him even without hair and all that, but it would really, really, you know, make my day, if he had done something about it.  Like, hair transplants or something like that.

I swear, it’s so shallow that whenever I would ask this question to my reader, even he would laugh. It was more of a “humour me” kind of thing.

Anyway, it sort of fits in with the QOD (Question of the Day to my Higher Self and Spiritual Team).  I asked them to give me a message on how my Twin was since I was so busy with mission and really couldn’t find time to consciously connect.

I had three answers today.

First, was a love song playing on the radio. I forgot the lyrics now, but it ran along the lines of how he would love me when we’d see each other again.

Second, was the 222s.  Two cars swerved right in front of me with plates that had 222s.  Well, I really think this was the answer to my other question.  I asked for messages regarding my Spiritual Business.  This is what the 222s mean from Ask-Angels.com:

The Angel Number 222

222 as an angel number is one of the more common sequences shown to those who are awakening to the presence and guidance from the angelic realm.

The Angel Number 222 has a very significant and powerful vibration. It contains the attributes of 2 and 22, the Master Builder Number of inspiration, big ideas and the focus and persistence needed to manifest big dreams into reality.
222 as an Angel Number has to do with manifestation, keeping in balance, and creating blessings on a huge and global scale.

When you repetitively see 222, it’s a message from the angels that you’re on the right track. You’re in the right place at the right time. Stay positive, know that your angels are supporting you, but remember to ask for angelic assistance.
222 offers assurance that things are and will work out for the best when you focus on your desired outcome, stay positive, go with the flow, and continue taking steps in creating your desired result.

The Angel Number 222 is a reminder to keep the faith, to stay focused on what you want rather than what you do not, and to trust that all is well, and everything is working out according to Divine will for the highest and greatest good.

The third one, was the mysterious dropped phone call.

So that’s it for today.  Oh — I’ve also been zonking out light bulbs and draining batteries so I need to do extra grounding work.

Anyway, I love my Twin! He’s funny.  And I do hope he does get that new head of hair, lol.

Review and Rewind

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For several weeks now, a renegade thought would just enter my head — what if my twin recognized that we were meant to be together before I did, and all this time he was just waiting for me to be ready?  What if all this time that I was thinking that he was the “slowpoke”, it was me that took the longest time to “come around”?  That I was actually the “unawakened one” instead of him?

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I shrugged it off the first time it surfaced.  Bollocks, that couldn’t be possible.  But the thought kept coming back, nagging at my subconscious. Still, it simmered there and although it took a while to seep past my ego, when it hit my core, I realized it was true.

It took a thread in one of my twin flame groups to tie this groundbreaking concept in my mind.  Someone had asked that everyone post something about their twin that they loved.  I said that I loved my twin because he is more infinitely compassionate and patient than I could ever be, but that with this TF journey, I felt that I was levelling up on the patience, lol. I wrote that answer on the spur of the moment, but soon realized that I siphoned out some truth out of my situation.

After all, he was already older and more mature when I had met him.  I was young and still hankering after the very human drama aspect of relationships then.  Plus, he was Pisces all around which made him very intuitive, if not psychic.  Perhaps he got what the essence of our connection was before I did? Maybe he’s not aware of what it’s called or all the twin flame lingo, but the recognition of the connection is there.

Last night, I finally asked the cards for confirmation of this.  It was a very insightful reading, practically screaming YES at me.  I could just imagine my guides slapping their foreheads in near exasperation and then patting themselves on the back for finally getting through to me, lol. Which also explains why I’ve had sudden bouts of bursting into tears the past couple of days where I apologize to my twin for being so slow on the uptake.  It’s like even if I had been energetically chasing him all these years, even if he liked me, even if he was attracted to me, even if he was tempted to reply to all those ignored messages, can you just imagine what self-control he’s had to exercise to not pre-empt our reunion in full glory before we were both ready?

If he is truly enlightened, then he would have seen/known where I was coming from, similar to the way I can tell if a person is coming from ego or not.  And like a teacher, he would be able to gauge if his “student” had already learned all that they needed to and was ready for graduation.

After bawling my eyes out at this epiphany and my full acceptance of it, the next morning, the first video on YouTube that I was called to watch was David Mills’ You can have your Twin Flame Union NOW. And it just confirmed further what I just realized to be true. Not only that, I was the 33rd commenter and the 33rd liker which just cements the confirmation.  This was more than just synchronicity.  This was a message I was meant to receive.

If I know it; he knows it.  We are already in Union now. I choose to be in Union with him now.  And we love each other… unconditionally, across time and space, through past lifetimes and other dimensions.  So what’s the problem? 🙂

 

Psychic Dreaming

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Last night, I was weighed down by a lot of things.  I’ve got hives again and this time around they were located in my right arm and smack in the middle of my back.  I suppose some exotic insect bit me again, but part of me suspects that it’s ascension symptoms, brought on by the Hunter’s Moon this October.

That was itching enough to be bothersome.  And even though I am still full go on my mission — I just installed video editing software and all that — the response on my trial video up on YouTube was short of dismal. I had one thumbs down and about 30 views.  Which brought me to thinking if I really did have “spiritual gifts” and if I should share them publicly.

I took Benadryl to help me sleep despite the itching, but it seemed like I didn’t need it.  I fell asleep while doing self-healing Reiki on myself. Woke up and tinkered around the computer for a bit and then fell back to sleep.  That’s when I had this strange dream.

I was in an illustrious and old campus, walking by a pathway beside one of the big buildings.  I stopped by a hawker’s stand.  There was this guy there giving out flyers and samples (not quite sure what the samples were for, but they looked like micro-cassette tapes).  He was a psychic and I was looking at him and his wares, curious if he was the real deal.

While I was doing this, things started happening to me.  I turned the golden knob of the grills nearby which revealed a secret passageway to the college down below.  And when I looked up at one of the life-sized statues that decorated the college (it looked like St. Francis of Assisi in my dream although I’m not sure), the statue suddenly turned its head to me. Jeepers, this was getting creepy.

When I turned down to look at the guy’s calling card which he had handed out earlier and which seemed to contain my initial logo for my website, the logo was spinning as though it had life.

That’s about all I remember, but I think there was much more.  I think Spirit was telling me that I did have psychic powers and not to doubt it because the “psychic hawker” by the wayside didn’t have an inkling that all those strange things were happening to me. Okay, okay, maybe I can help some folks out. I’m still not definitely backing down on this.  I have to birth it and let God.

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Telepathic Arguments with my Twin

I’m the one with Mars in Aries and since this Supermoon is in Aries, I’ve had to catch my temper many times the past couple of days.  Thank God that we’ve been given guidance about how this will affect us, so no bridges were burned so far.

On the other hand, I’ve felt my twin picking an argument with me several times now, telepathically though. I feel that he is lashing out at me, but I didn’t want to engage because I could tell that it is his own frustration and anger with himself that’s the source.  You know how men pick a fight so that women would break up with them?  That’s how it felt like.  I told him I was here to stay and that I wouldn’t go.  I suspect it is his own feelings of self-worth that are at play here.  He thinks that because of his failed relationships, his codependent way of coping with problems, that he’s no good for me. But I know that that argument is neither true nor valid.

So I’m letting him stew for a while.  I miss our loving connection but these are issues that have resurfaced for a purpose.  He needs to heal them and get rid of the guilt he associates with them.  All is forgiven.  I’m not pressuring him anymore to fit his healing and return with my timeline.  He just needs to do it.

In the meantime, I will continue to heal myself to help him heal.  He is, after all, my twin.  I’m just glad that I am in a place right now where I can tell what this is.  If I were any less enlightened, I would have responded likewise in anger and frustration.

 

Angel Lights

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I saw a brilliant flash of blue light today out of nowhere. Kind of like this but with the brighter more cobalt blue and a bigger radius.

 

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I was in the office, my computer monitor wasn’t turned on yet and there was just ambient overhead lighting. So it wasn’t, you know, residual vision from looking at something else. Apparently, it might have been an “angel light” (Check out this link).

That’s the way Spirit usually works with me. It shows me something either in my mind’s eye or even in real life. I usually don’t know what it means and try to figure it out and then the answer appears. Kind of like a scavenger hunt which I like since I’m into researching and all that. So I just want to say that Spirit usually sends messages in a form/way that you would most likely receive and understand them.

A few moments later, I realize what this was. I sent a message to my “no-contact” twin yesterday telling him that I loved him after all this time. The whole time since then, I have been asking my guides for signs or confirmation that I did the right thing. And now this! But I’ve been asking myself, why Archangel Michael? And then I remembered that I do the AA Michael Attunement regularly where he puts his seal on the throat chakra — the center of communication. I actually got my answer!

Earlier in the day, I watched a movie alone and got to wondering if I’m going to be watching movies alone, sans my twin, for the rest of my life.  Questions like “is this going to be just in 5D?” were running through my head, not in a depressing way but more like, okay, if 5Ds all it’s going to be, then half-glass full thinking still, 5D is great anyway. And I resolved to “talk” with my twin in 5D as soon as I got home.

Anyway, after regaling my angel lights experience to my TF groups, I went on to meditate, as planned.  It was different.  My twin was telling me to basically shut up and just listen. So I did.  He told me he loved me and then asked me if I would allow him to love me.  Then I felt like I was drowning.  I felt weak and woozy and actually had to lay down from lotus position because I felt I couldn’t breathe.  My heart chakra was doing its work and I felt a bit of sharpness there.  And that’s when I realized that for the first half of this journey, I was actually the runner and that I still had issues being the recipient of love — control issues.  Giving love wasn’t an issue with me.  I ultimately had control over whether or not to give it, but I do have an issue with other people giving me love/stuff/money because I get anxious about what they’ll want back for it and if I’ll be able to give it. That’s why my twin was posing this question to me.

And because I rarely shut up even when told to, I still kept asking if this was all going to be just in 5D, yadayadayada.

When I got out of meditation, I check my phone and the first post I see is this:

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Paperclip?  What the heck, right?  What message could there be in a paperclip laying on the ground?

But it was a message for me.  And the other twin flame who posted it was the medium/messenger.  It was because of a paperclip that I had an epiphany that my twin loved me.  I was very playful then and I was ready to dismiss him as just one of those men in my “harem”.  That is, until the “paperclip incident”. I think I’ve written about it before, so I won’t repeat that story.

Point is, my twin was sending me a message.  He loves me.  I’d better get used to it.  The issues that resurfaced during meditation though gives me pause.  That drowning feeling. I know I love him, but will I let him love me?

Hmmm.

The Hummingbird’s Song

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The past few days, my enthusiasm for my twin flame journey has waned somewhat.  I mean, what else do you do when you realize that despite wanting it to happen NOW, everything’s subject to divine timing?  Add to that the possibility that union may just mean the balancing of the masculine and feminine aspects of oneself and not physical union with one’s twin and, well, I got into an “Oh, well…” surrendered kind of vibe.

Whenever I’d pull cards for my twin to see where he’s at, it’s still the same, working through some things that need healing and all that. Still the same Four of Pentacles, Eight of Swords, Seven of Swords.  And I’m kind of tired of that.  It’s like, delay again because you can’t figure things out or make a decision to head towards me? Oh, well. What’s new…

I still continually ask for signs but this “divine timing” is putting a damper on my enthusiasm.  The other day, I was asking for a sign if I really was a twin flame and if we would get into union in this lifetime, and I got my answer through a jeepney on the lane opposite mine heading towards me.  It had the words “BIRTHRIGHT” across its dash.  I took it as a sign because if you’ve lived here long enough, you’d know that “Birthright” isn’t something commonly emblazoned on jeepneys.  Why on earth would anyone use that word to mark their jeepneys with? It’s a fairly complicated word, loaded with meaning.

The next thing that called my attention was this sticker on a vehicle that said “Keep Faith & Trust”. So it seems I’ve been answered.

Still, nothing in 3D.  Been focusing my attention elsewhere first. Thinking whether or not I would contact him but I’ve gone the chaser way before and that didn’t work.  I know he was in my dreams yesterday but it was the last segment of my dream totally unrelated to him that I ended up remembering, so that’s lost in the ether as well. I seem to have a hard time remembering my dreams these days.

Spirit found a way around that, I guess.  I woke up to the sound of a singing bird.  Now, I’m usually annoyed at birds because … well, precisely because they wake me up with all that blasted chirping.  Usually, they stop whenever they sense the dogs or humans up and about.  I got up, thought nothing of it, did my morning rituals.  Dogs were wide awake and playing with each other.  The singing didn’t stop. The help came in to “make my bed” already — point is, a lot of movement — and the bird still kept singing.  So by this point, it got my attention. That bird has got some nerve to keep on making noise despite the presence of humans and canines!  So I take a peek through the door leading out to the balcony to see what the offender looked like.  I was expecting several native finches (which is what is common around here) congregating in the balcony, but lo and behold, what do I see?

A hummingbird.

A what? Yes, a hummingbird. You could imagine my disorientation.  Sure, if I were back living in the States, this would not be out of the ordinary, but here in the tropical suburban jungle, what on earth was it doing here? And I watched while peeking through a semi open door as it flit about, still singing, until it fully dawned on me that this wasn’t a usual thing, before it set off in flight.  It was like it made sure that I got the message.

But what message was that exactly? This is what I got:

The special magic of the hummingbird is in its movement which creates the infinity symbol.  Infinity = Twin Flames. “Hummingbird is a symbolic ambassador of this special magic; meaning that with skillful maneuvering,  and the magic of believing anything is possible.”

Hummingbird Meaning

The hummingbird generally symbolizes joy and playfulness, as well as adaptability. Additional symbolic meanings are:

  • Lightness of being, enjoyment of life
  • Being more present
  • Independence
  • Bringing playfulness and joy in your life
  • Lifting up negativity
  • Swiftness, ability to respond quickly
  • Resiliency, being able to travel great distances tirelessly

It seems like a lovely sign through and through.  However, whenever someone tells me to “be prepared” or “be resilient” my PTSD kicks in and that just makes me more anxious.  Like warning bells go off in my head and I’m like, what heart and gut wrenching challenge should I go through this time?

I really really want somebody — no, not somebody, my twin flame, specifically — to take me aside, hug me, and tell me that all my worries are over, that I am loved, that we will go through life together, that we have more than enough for a roof over our heads, food, clothing, a comfortable lifestyle which includes travel and vacations, and all the other blissful stuff that comes with divine unions.

But my twin is still struggling with issues. So until he figures that out, it’s going to be a solo flight for me.