Tag Archives: universe

Why the Void?

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I’ve been crying.  On and off, not for anything in particular, but just purging and releasing.  I’m thinking that maybe it’s hormones since it’s shark week for me, but maybe it’s also because the things I’ve been rushing to accomplish for my application are more or less in place, just a couple of things to polish it off and I can “not think about it” for a while.

If you read the entry before this, I was wondering why the silence from all fronts.  It kind of seemed like a conspiracy.  Even my Destiny Adviser wasn’t available, and I took it as a sign that this was something I had to navigate through myself.

I did a reading last night for me and my twin.  He loves me, is looking towards me, but is still navigating through some issues of heartbreak.  He’s having challenges with the ex, probably with regard to divorce matters.  On the other hand, my column was pretty accurate — Eight of Swords, meaning I can’t see past anything (which is what I’ve been writing about haha), Five of Wands, Nine of Swords — but I did find it interesting that the underlying energy of the spread was the Sun.  As though it was telling us that this was the darkness before the breaking of the dawn.  For his energy towards me, he got the Twin Flame card.  For mine towards him, the Ace of Pentacles, manifestation.

I also got that he was asking me to hold on as he was making the choices he needed to make.  When I asked what he was deciding about me, the first option was union, fast and swift, (Alchemist + Tower), while the second option was status quo (Four of Swords + Three of Wands).  For what he feels regarding those two options, for the first option, it was Ace of Swords, while the second option was Ten of Swords.  What that’s telling me is that he feels that it will pain him more for us to be in continued separation.

Last, I asked what his plans were for me — and I loved the answer that came up, which included the King of Cups, Knight of Cups and Page of Cups, Eight of Pentacles and Two of Cups.  My twin plans to love me.  And I ended the reading on that happy note.

This morning, just as I was crossing the threshhold from sleep to wakefullness, I was given the message that physical union, sacred sex will be necessary to complete both our healing because each of us holds a key. I was given a vision of our kundalinis rising and spiraling upwards in various colors as they passed through our chakras and then bursting outwards to envelope the both of us and to resonate that kind of energy to the Universe.  We are healing on our own now, but will need each other to complete that phase and start something new.

I got more enlightenment about what I’ve been going through as I fired up my computer.  This one was from Naglaa Elshamy, who channels Spirit from twin flames and others.  This was her message today:

Naglaa 082016

Very grateful to have received that message which resonates strongly with me.  Issues from long ago have been cropping up like a rerun of a tv show which I didn’t want to watch.  I’ve been feeling like I’ve been retaking a test except that this time around, I know how to answer the questions already.

In another video I watched, it was explained that the twin needed this “time out” because there will be accelerated movement after that; that it will be slower if he doesn’t take this time out.

I just hope that this upgrade will get done soon. Take care, everyone.

Enter the Lion’s Gate

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Before I post about my lion’s gate thoughts, I just have a quick follow up to my post, One, which I wrote a couple of days ago.  Remember, I said that I dreamt about an old high school classmate who was dirtied and in uniform by the roadside?  That afternoon, after I had journaled my dream as soon as I woke up in the morning, I went to the mall because I had an appointment with my Destiny Adviser and run some quick errands before my meeting.

I was on my way when guess who I bumped into? Yes, the girl that I had dreamt about.  She was shopping with her mom and since I also knew her mom, we exchanged pleasantries and went our own ways.  It was a brief moment, but for that moment, I sensed her energy signature.  It was a very muted one, very sad, low and weak.  But I was in a rush and so was she.

Anyway, I just found it strange that I dream about this girl and the next thing I know, she’s right there in front of me! And I have never bumped into this girl since high school.  We meet during high school reunions, but that’s it.  We’re not close.  So I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with that.

Here’s another instance in which I felt the Universe was supporting me.  Around two weeks ago, an uncompleted Windows 10 update screwed up my computer.  Initial check with the tech guys said that none of my files could be saved (tons of movies, pics, and my iTunes).  But after much prayer, the tech guy did some techie thing and saved ALL MY DATA. Thing was, my HD was fried so I needed storage for my data, but I didn’t have extra funds to get a new one which would cost nearly $100.  I would have extra cash had I not lent it to our helper who needed to go home to the province to tend to her sick child.  She wasn’t my “charge” so to speak, since she provided services to my parents and brother, but I felt compassion for her situation and lent her.

Anyway, lots of expenses coming up and I just did what I could with what I had, transferring files to different computers just so that they would all fit.  They barely did.  This was important, but I figured, it could wait.  Until last night, I see an ad for 1TB internal laptop HDDs for — get this — $30. They were pullouts from brand new laptops, replaced with SSDs.  And I had external casing, so housing it wouldn’t be a problem.  So, thanks to the powers of the Universe, I got 2TB for around $60. Yay!!!!! And I am currently transferring files onto them as I type.

Okay, onto Lion’s Gate.  Last night, I did a reading specifically about energies surrounding me and my twin this Lion’s Gate.  I had no idea what spread to use, but I asked Spirit to guide me, and I was guided to do this spread in the form of the Infinity Symbol.  It was amazing too because when you read for the masculine, since we have merged in 5D, you could see his “story” flowing into the Divine Feminine, and vice-versa.  The middle card that tied the two “loops” was the Six of Pentacles – generosity, sharing.  And in my deck, it was pretty obvious that the Lion’s Gate energies would affect the masculine more, because the female in the card was already “illumined” by the light shining through the window.  So my twin would be given more energy so that he could take things in the physical (as evidenced by the pentacles above him).

I asked for a message from my Ascended Masters deck to tie the reading up and guess what cards fell out when I was shuffling? Twin Flame and Trust. Beautiful! 🙂 And the card at the bottom of the deck was the Wheel of Fortune. Basically, the reading was explaining how the influx of energies was going to affect us.  For my twin, it will help him get to a point of clarity and act faster to materialize our union.  For me, I was again told to hold the energies and recognize my power as a creator of my reality.

Next, I did a  Lion’s Gate Week Spread for the both of us. This time, I was guided to use a 9-card spread and I asked how this week would turn out for the both of us in 3D.  The Lovers card was smack right in the center, and it was again a beautiful spread.  The bottom of the deck card was the Ace of Swords, which meant that honesty and being true to our authentic selves is the underlying energy this week.

Manifesting this new beginning with my twin will call for an honest assessment of the situation.  We’ve both been doing our healing under the radar, both guided by the Divine while at it, and relief and sanctuary are now forthcoming.  There will be celebrations and union will be in the physical, as was the message of the Lovers Card in this particular deck, where the Divine is handing the fruit to the couple. The fruit is the same one that bloomed from the trees that grew off from the masculine and feminine, both a result from their own healing and growth, and now, they are being handed it.

Okay, I can’t remember the rest of the reading, but it was good. 🙂

That’s it for now.  I think tomorrow — August 8th — I shall be visualizing and enriching the timeline where my twin and I are together, and grounding the new light codes and energies into Gaia.

 

 

 

 

Mastering the Multiverse for Union

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Today, I came across this Pleiadian Channeled Message to Twin Flames 07 11 16 “Ascension Definition” as channelled by Naglaa Elshamy.  I suggest you watch it first, before delving into my comments:

So far, this is what I got from it:

  • we must learn the concept of “wisdom and energy” and what it means to put energy into action
  • when the Twin Flame Collective puts its mind towards a certain destination, we will be able to manifest our heart’s desires
  • connection with higher light beings (divine beings) goes both ways. We become both human and spiritual beings living in parallel realities – 3D and 5D.
  • Those two realities are separate and connected.  For people who have reached that certain mastery in their ascension, they can fully make the connection between the two realities — physical and spiritual.
  • So when you connect with someone in 3D, you must also connect with them in 5D – it’s like doing two things at the same time.
  • When you are in ascension, that gap between the two realities come really close to each other until they are fully merged. When that happens, you become a master of living in both realities. (some deep Matrix stuff here!)
  • Ergo, Master Level Skill = FULL INTEGRATION OF BOTH REALITIES
  • Ascenscion therefore means that you are an individual that is capable of living a full physical life & a full spiritual life at the same time.
  • To reach this Mastery Skill Level, one will have gone through different cycles of healing, different cycles of stripping of the ego, different cycles of reaching one’s own balance of intuition.  Once you listen to your intuition, you will be able to fully connect with the dimension of your spiritual being (a.k.a. The Higher Self)
  • More importantly, one must go through multiple series of upgrades of your being — downloads, upgrades — to our bodies.

So the video ends with a bit of homework:  Where are you on your ascension journey? How are you connecting with your intuition? Can you tell whether the messages you’re getting are from intuition or from ego?

Let me try answering my “homework” 🙂

Assuming that the goal is Mastery Skill Level, four elements have been identified, i.e. different cycles of: a) stripping of the ego, b)healing, c) balance of intuition, and d) downloads and upgrades to your body.

Different Cycles of Stripping of the Ego & Healing

I shall be discussing both of these at the same time because they go hand in hand.  One cannot be truly healed on a fundamental level (a.k.a. soul level), if the ego is still in the way.  And, of course, before one would even need healing, there has to be some wound, some injury, some incident, circumstance or situation that causes pain.

On that score alone, I think the Universe has given me numerous opportunities to heal.  Almost 33 years now, beginning from when I was around 8.  (And I just realized at this moment that each chapter of my life before it shifted in a different direction amounts exactly to 11 years. And that kind of creeps me out, but let me get on with my homework!)

8-19 years: 

  • highly intuitive, got interested in the paranormal and mystical after surviving an illness that doctor’s could not identify and only a local shaman was able to heal me by — get this — extracting 3 cockroaches from my abdomen
  • able to hear voices talking to me, see paranormal stuff (yes, even ghosts), vivid and recurring dreams, and I remember that I was very afraid of seeing Jesus and/or Mother Mary appear in front of me, especially at the foot of my bed.  Jesus once appeared in the sky when I was in the car on the way to Baguio and was peering out the window, but I couldn’t tell anyone because it was too strange though I never forgot the incident.
  • I remember trying to teach my parents how to be parents, how to love, and what it means to be family.  I don’t know how I got the information but I continually wrote them long letters about it, until, at about the age of 14, I stopped altogether, disheartened that they weren’t listening to what I was saying.  It’s only now that I’m more spiritually evolved that I realized what that was all about —  Lyran, soul contract that I would lead them in evolving spiritually, etc. 
  • I’ve been told that most of the things that I predicted then or just said came true.  Some of them I found out just recently when those I’ve given the message to told me about it.  I often forget what I’ve said.
  • Major hurts and lessons at this time centered around family and betrayal in friendships.

19-30 years:

  • the most worldly and “cushy” part of my existence, thus far. Started law school which led me on another path.
  • continued my otherworldly pursuits through readers, wicca, astrology, feng shui, and high magick, found out that Mother Mary was my Sponsoring Deity (which I now know that what that reader saw was an aspect of my Divine Feminine)
  • still being plagued by elementals, incubi, and misguided humans (a.k.a. criminals) — yes, I’ve been carnapped, mugged at icepick point, etc. and I’ve even had my energy attempted to be stolen by “gifted” people.  My theory on this is that they get attracted to the light — my inner light/energy — and it’s like the Ring of Power for them and they go batshit Gollum “My Preciousessss!!” on me.
  • My introduction to love was a very lighthearted Pan-like, mischievous toned one.  Actually broke more than a fair share of hearts during this time.  But, in turn, my heart got majorly broken by my first boyfriend who taught me a whole lot of stuff, in love and in life.  He’s dead now, but I do believe he was a soulmate.
  • Got my first lesson in unconditional love given to me by my first love, my lhasa apso, MuMu, the circumstances of which I came upon him were purely coincidental. I recognize now that the was the companion sent to me by the Universe, and the lessons he taught me became the standard by which I could tell — although most oftentimes I ignored the signs — the red flags which foretold ego-based love.
  • Heartbreak was the major lesson here.  A shift in friends and focus too.  Family wasn’t bugging me too much during this period.

31-41 years:

  • The year I met my Twin Flame — that’s what marks this chapter. And I met him through serendipity also because my karmic was, ironically, the one who chose him.
  • Major events.  So major that, I have often referred to the time my lessons all came raining down on me as “that Series of Unfortunate Events” — grief, heartbreak, betrayal, treachery, poverty, statelessness, being the victim of a crime.  And all these lessons kicked in the moment I chose to run away from my twin. It was so bad that I’ve wanted to kill myself at least twice, only to be saved by an 11th hour angel in the form of a friend.
  • Major ego stripping and healing which took some time and some healing is still going on.
  • It was only three years ago that I was awakened to my true origins as a starseed and lightworker. Only a few months ago did I re-discover that I am on a Twin Flame Journey.

Different Cycles of Downloads and Upgrades

I also learned that one of my major missions in this lifetime had to do with my family.  It was after I was permitted to cut karmic ties with them that my etheric grid was upgraded to a crystalline matrix.  I have been anchoring high frequency rays consciously for a while now and I can usually tell which one I’m anchoring.  I work with Angels, Archangels, Ascended Masters, my Higher Self, and my spiritual team. I’ve finally learned to exorcise — and successfully done so — elementals and incubi who want to latch on to me.

I’ve learned how to read tarot cards better now.  It’s as if the cards speak to me.  And I’ve practiced healing on others successfully.

Although not fully conscious of energy downloads, I can feel its effect on my physical body.  Most often, I am tired and drained.

I’ve merged with my Twin in 5D despite our 3D dynamics (or lack thereof), but which is also the reason why I’m not bawling my eyes out in heartbreak or desperation. We communicate telepathically for now.

I’m not that afraid anymore of Jesus and Mother Mary and they’ve shown up in meditation without me running away in fear.

Different Cycles of Balance of Intuition

(my sleep meds are kicking in so forgive me if my thoughts aren’t that lucid)

On the subject of intuition, what I can say is that I have an ongoing conversation with my Higher Self now.  I can very easily spot what’s coming from ego and can point it out as well.  I think that all the “experience” I’ve had the past three decades are finally settling down onto a plate of wisdom.

What Naglaa said about living in two parallel and distinct realities seems true for me, although since the discovery is quite recent, I’ve been more focused on my spiritual evolution now.  And I am learning to balance the two worlds.  Despite what’s been going on in 3D, the undercurrent is one of happiness and unconditional love, bliss, even.

I don’t know if my twin will come around.  If this is the measure of ascension — Heaven on Earth – then I seem to be well on my way in this journey. In fact, I think it’s one of the reasons I’m exhausted.  It’s like going to night school.  There’s real life work to do, passions to follow, and yet, when I am called to learn some more, do the ascension work, the healing work, I still carry on, usually until the meds kick in and I have to sleep to get up for work the next day.  It’s tiring switching from this to that.

But what of my twin?  He seems to be lagging far, far behind.  How are we going to meet at the “appointed place and time” for union if his ego keeps getting in the way?

I don’t know.  And not knowing, is part and parcel of this journey.

 

The Day That Wasn’t Like All Others

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Three days has passed since *that* day.  I’ve been wanting to write about it, but simply didn’t have time in the midst of juggling other obligations.  Just today, I was a reader at our office anniversary mass; was part of the dance presentation which was hiphop; rushed to get bargains at my favorite stores end of season sales, and now, having coffee at my favorite cafe, pondering how to finance myself for the rest of the month until payday because I shopped most of it.

I also don’t really care that I spent most of my salary already since it’s my birthday month.  Then again, I already threw a party, bought myself a ton of electronic stuff, bought branded bags like I was hording them, so really, today’s shopping spree was excessive. I really don’t need any more clothes really.  What I have to do is get back in shape to fit in them all.

Okay, enough of the introduction. Let’s get to the meat of the matter which was *that* day, but first, a little context — prior to that day, I had been ruminating on whether or not I was going to make contact (in 3D) with my twin.  In fact, the morning of that day, I asked for a sign from my higher self and spiritual team what I should do.

When I got home, I perused new offerings by lightworkers in YouTube and, one of the most accurate lightworkers, an Italian woman named Rita, had posted a video of her recent channeling directed to female energies in a Twin Flame relationship.  Spirit’s message was that the female energies had to send a message to their masculine twins to help them heal; that the masculine energy had a block that was hindering union because he was still absorbed with hurt, pain, brought on by a relationship with his karmic.  Spirit said that the message should show our love for our twin, that we should  not fear being rejected again (which, in my case, was precisely why I had decided to contact him never), and that since we were doing it in the spirit of unconditional love, whatever the male twin’s decision would be — whether he decides to ignore the letter, respond to it, decide that he wanted to continue the rest of his life journey alone (she even said that he was telling himself, “I deserve to be alone,”  but she said that was wrong and he was mistaken). He needed to hear something from the divine feminines, some encouragement, because his block was so deep. We were further instructed to tell the masculines what we wanted — out of life, out of a relationship with him, etc.

I took that as the answer to my question. In fact, the timing was perfect, just after my birthday, so it wouldn’t seem so out of the blue that I was writing down a shopping list of what I wanted out of my life.  So immediately after watching that video, I set about writing him an email. It was difficult. Not what I wanted to say which flowed quite easily, but the knowing that this was something I needed to do to help him heal regardless of the outcome, and that outcome might possibly be rejection again.

It turned out to be a nice letter. I told him I forgave him.  I told him about my own healing journey.  And I told him about how I imagined my life to be once I got to this age. There was no blame placed upon him. I managed to make it sound like I wasn’t guilting him into anything, and I was even funny in parts.  In closing, I wished him well, and I wished healing upon him, that he would be able to look past failures and disappointments to see what other opportunities and suprises the Universe has in store for him.

After a few minutes composing myself after have sobbed like a baby, I took to my cards.  I meant to ask just if I did the right thing, if sending the email wasn’t a mistake.  When I was doing the soul mantra and connecting to the higher powers, something else happened — and this is where it gets weird.

With my eyes closed in meditation, I saw through my mind’s eye blue and pink mini-rays shooting towards me. They weren’t like the divine rays which would stream, most often, in a constant column. Instead, they were like light saber bullets being shot from a gun in a Star Wars flick.

Next shot, I saw myself, possibly in another lifetime.  I was a young girl, blonde, in a dress, maybe 6-7 years old, playing in a meadow near my home (which I knew to be a cottage). It wasn’t set in this day and age which is why I think it was from a past life. Then, Mother Mary, in gold and white, called to me, and I followed her.  I looked like when a child is following and looking at a balloon flying away, I was smiling and running towards her.

When we got to a distance, Mother Mary turned to face me, but she changed
aspects. She looked more like the Madonna and Child (sans the child), wearing a blue veil.  She spoke to me. I don’t  quite remember what she said in this part, but that it was comforting. (I will try to remember more of it later, but I just want the events of that day written down)  After Mother Mary delivered her message, she rained down on me etheric escarchas.  My head was turned towards the skies as I received this blessing — blue, pink, gold.

When the divine shower of escarchas ended, I looked back up at Mother Mary. This time, her Sacred Heart was burning.  I sensed another energy approaching, and slowly, Jesus Christ came into my field of vision.  I was surprised to see him, and I even asked, “Jesus, is that really you?”  He answered, yes, and proceeded to tell me his message (again, more details on this as soon as I get this story out).

Both of the proceeded to tell me — and this is where it gets controversial — that the Twin Hearts image of Mother Mary and Jesus in the Catholic faith, was supposed to be  Jesus, and his Twin Flame, Mary Magdalene. But since the institution was intent on not recognizing Mary Magdalene as Jesus’ spouse and divine partner incarnated here on Earth, they replaced her depiction in the Twin Hearts icon with that of Mother Mary since that was the narrative church officials wanted to propagate, but that ought to be Mary Magdalene.

After telling me that, both Mary & Jesus gave me a blessing. I’m still not certain of what they bestowed on me — I’m still figuring that part out — but they “left” soon after.

I went on to do a reading for myself, and nothing strange came out of that. I went back to my computer to decompress and then, out of the blue, I heard a strange pained sound coming from Maximus (my dog). It wasn’t the usual wheezing or a hacking cough whenever he wants to clear his throat. In fact, it was the very first time that I heard that sound coming from him and I panicked.  Alarmed, I quickly searched for the Healing Code to clear respiratory passages. As with my healing sessions, I called on Archangel Rafael and Mother Mary to help, and, after that I called on Lord Arcturus and the Arcturians to multiply Maximus’ light quotient by 100%.

The help came quick and lightning fast. Five minutes hadn’t passed when I sensed Maximus’ energy change.  Instead of just laying down and waiting for the session to be over — even when being groomed, he would wait until I declare that it’s “Finished!” before he moves — he lept up and showered me with kisses.  I kept on asking, “Are you okay already?” Kisses again, in response.  Then, in a perfectly synchronized motion, all three dogs in my room whipped their head towards  the closed door in my bedroom leading to the balcony. Then, they gave out a tentative bark.  Not the kind of bark they give when some stray tomcat decides to rendevous in the balcony, or the frenzied warning bark when a stranger is there. This was different.

It was then that I realized, “Oh, my God! They’re here!” The Arcturians were actually outside my balcony. There were around five or six of them, just peering as if they could see through the closed door.  Then, even though I knew that they came in peace, I felt frightened a bit because they might take Maximus with them. Still, I did call for help and they did come so it  would  be so ungracious of me  to ask them to leave. So I talked to them — and here is where it gets weird again.  I was speaking in light language. I don’t know if it was real light language or I was just making it up, but it sounded like light language, it was accompanied by hand gestures, and some of it was “tonal” and was sung.

I introduced Maximus, thanked them for their help.  And I was even pausing at times to hear their responses which were immediately translated. I mean, I didn’t actually hear them speak audibly or even in my mind’s eye, but my heart understood what they were saying in English.  I did explain that the dogs were scared because they were unfamiliar with them, and they left soon after, save one who found Maximus cute and adorable and he stayed on a bit longer than the rest, but I could feel nothing but affection from that energy.

This wasn’t the first time that I called upon Lord Arcturus and the Arcturians, but it was the first time they actually paid a visit. Lord Arcturus wasn’t present though so I feel this was a sent contingent.  I also feel that it was because of the urgency of my call that they decided to show up. It was like I put out a gigantic bat signal up in the heavens, a 911 call that couldn’t be ignored. However, the whole experience was so out of this world (pun intended) that I was doubting my own sanity. Was I making this up in my head? Did this really happen? I decided to sleep on it, since by then, I was already emotionally drained.

The next morning, I got my answer. When I opened up my Facebook, the first picture that I saw was that of aliens peering curiously at something, just like I imagined them to be doing at the time. And this wasn’t a picture of your commercialized X-Files aliens either. They looked exactly how they appeared to me in my mind’s eye depicted in a picture I had never seen before. I am still incredulous despite the validation and although they have never given me  reason to be anxious, my human ego is still fearful that they will take Maximus with them. You can blame all the sci-fi movies and the Annunaki for the invasion paranoia.

So there you have it — Twin Flame challenge hurdled, past life childhood memories, and visions of both Mama Mary and Jesus, blessed with escarchas and a secret (only because I have yet to figure it out) blessing, and a close encounter with aliens all in one day.

So,how was your day?

 

 

 

 

The Leaf

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Last night, I was supposed to have my weekly reading with my reader.  However, he texted me that he was sick and that we had to reschedule.  I think it was meant to be.  I don’t think I need a reading quite just yet because whenever I ask Spirit for answers through my own cards, the answers are given to me loud and clear.

Last night’s reading was particularly nice.  After checking out the existing energies between my Twin and I, I think I asked what course of action he would take or what. Anyway, it was a question along those lines.  Part of the answer was: The World, The Emperor, The Ace of Pentacles, The Wheel of Fortune, and the Sun, all in succession. I forgot the exact cards that followed but I remember what they meant.

It was beautiful because in my mind’s eye, I interpreted that to mean that he already fixed most of the elements (Air, Earth, Water & Fire) in preparation for union. There were four circles staring back at me. Water was placed before the Emperor, so I feel he has still got a bit of reconciling to do with that one.  The cards that followed merely said that he was studying what kind of message to send because he wanted things to be established fast.

It was a nice and very comforting reading, actually. I watched Youtube videos after and I came across this one video where the lightworker was saying to avoid having any etheric hanky panky with your twin if he is physically still with the karmic.  Why? Because the fucking karmic whore (nah, I’m not that mad, just wanted to type that out) would pick up on the energy exchange and siphon my energies bouncing off my twin. As a result, my twin would be confused again because he would think that those feelings (directed towards the twin) were coming from the karmic whore.  The message,  therefore, was to abstain. At least, until we had physical union.

So this morning, when I felt his etheric I’m horny nudge as I was stirring awake, I said no and explained to him why. Now, I’ve got the female version of blue balls and I bet he does too. My energy is for my Twin, not the karmic whore, thank you very much.

I was driving back to the office after having spent my morning scouring for finds at this warehouse full of branded overruns. I got 10 pieces of clothing for about $3 to $4 each, and to think I was willing to pay for that single Zara blouse for the same price!  Anyway, I digress.

I was driving to the office in traffic when a lone vibrant green leaf was whisked onto my windshield and wedged between the wipers and the glass. It took me a moment of staring at it to think, Is this a message from Source? Leaf. Leaves. Leave? Leave what?  And right in front of me was a vehicle that was carrying plants and the leaves were all I could see through the back window. The brand of the car was an Adventure. The plates started with N-E-O.  Its color was emerald green.  I went back to the leaf.  Leave? For where?

It was at that exact moment that the leaf on my windshield doubled over.  Ahhh…I get it now. “Turn over a new leaf!” 

I finally got the message — Turn over a new leaf for a new adventure. Adventure where, you might ask? It’s going to be an adventure of the heart.  Emerald green, the color that symbolizes the opening of the heart chakra. Not only was the car in front of me a deep green, so was the car beside it, and my car was the same color as well. Even my OOTD was mostly teal, another shade of green.

I feel the Universe is telling me to get ready. Go pack your bags! The time is coming! I asked for confirmation on the Tarot app on my phone, just a one card reading, and I got Death Something will be transforming. Soon, I hope. And I hope it will bring happiness, love, and good things all around.

 

 

 

That the Blind May See

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I mentioned previously that I do listen to Twin Flame readings on YouTube. That is, on top of my specific readings with my own Destiny Adviser. Sometimes, they resonate with me; sometimes they don’t.

In my own readings, they’re almost always positive, telling me that union will come to fruition. In the general readings, there seem to be a bit more obstacles, either he still needs to do some healing, still is confused on what course of action to take, or is still bound to his karmic relationship.

I have no idea which to believe in more.

I woke up crying again. I seem to do that a lot these days. It’s a mixture of longing, overwhelming love, and frustration, I guess.

If he is indeed my twin, does he feel what I’m going through? Or am I mirroring him and it’s him that’s really going through all that?

In a couple of days, my birth month is going to be ushered in.  I’m going to have a party for a few friends and family, but on the day itself, or even in the days to come, I HAVE NO PLANS. The best I can come up with is “Forth, Eorlingas!” which has become my battle cry as of late.

Should I open my heart to someone new? That’s looking way into the future. I think the better question is, should I put I start putting myself out there already? Should I go back to my hedonistic ways and start engaging in casual sex again while my body still isn’t old and wrinkled?

I really don’t know.  I’m just going with the flow, tired and exhausted from asking the Universe what my heart truly desires. I suppose nearly ten years of asking is enough. Even Job from the Bible got a break earlier than that. So after telling me that all I have to do is ask and the Universe will deliver, after telling me to be specific with my preferences because the Universe can be a tricky dealer, after telling me to be patient because “if it’s not there yet, it’s on its way”, after doing everything conceivably possible in 3D — high magick, novenas, pilgrimages, soul contract amendments, retrieving soul fragments, petitioning the Karmic Board, included — short of stalking my twin, I think I’m done. Expecting, anyway. The Hope will always be there, as I live and breathe.

Twin Flames and Penguins

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I had the weirdest dream last night.  I forgot the other segments of it, but I do remember that Pierce Brosnan represented my Twin Flame in my dream.  He was actually flirting with me.  We were friends and he was showing me video clips of — this is where it gets weird — a waddle of penguins being fed …ermmm… the bodies of dead baby penguins.  And I thought to myself in my dream, “Oh, they’re cannibals!”

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This is what the dream dictionary says about dreaming about penguins:  “It serves as a reminder for you to keep your cool and remain level-headed. Alternatively, seeing a penguin in your dream suggests that you are being weighed down by your emotions or by a negative situation. You need to find some balance and inner harmony.”

Now that I think about it, I think my dream wasn’t so strange after all.  In tarot readings, mine and others, my twin flame is mostly represented as the Emperor.  In my dream, the penguins were Emperor Penguins, and I don’t think that’s a coincidence (I haven’t seen a picture of a penguin in a while).

You see, the Emperor Penguin is at the number one slot in the “Top 10 Fathers in the Animal Kingdom” .  Here’s what the article says:

“1. Emperor Penguin – A Personal Sacrifice for the Good of His Young
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The emperor penguin serves as one of the few examples in nature of a dedicated father. After the mother lays the egg, her nutrition levels are diminished and she must replenish them by feeding in the ocean for two months. The mother’s absence leaves the father responsible for keeping the egg warm through the freezing Antarctic weather.

While the mother is gone, the father spends two months holding the egg cautiously between the tops of his feet and his brooding pouch. During these two months, the father starves himself to prevent anything from happening to the egg. If the egg becomes exposed to the harsh temperatures or the father moves suddenly, the chick will perish. Therefore, the father’s sacrifice, dedication and balance ultimately ensures the survival of the chicks. What a dad!”

And that’s mostly what my twin flame has been working on these past years – the welfare of his children.  His marriage may have failed and his ex just conveniently shows up during milestones to get credit, but he almost single-handedly parented his kids.  I knew they were his priority when I met him.

An additional perspective of my penguin dream is this:

The penguin is a symbol of dreams, intuition and perception. It has a keen sense of the “underworld”. The penguin is a champion underwater. This is symbolic of “going below” – accessing deeper emotion, and having a perception that is anything but common. Penguins ask us to dive beneath the surface of reality. Therefore, penguins can be an aid in interpreting dreams and developing psychic ability.

In dreams, penguin meaning deals with connecting with our remote selves. We all have areas in our hearts and lives that we neglect. Those remote spaces where we dare not venture into. Whether from fear or denial, many of us chose to ignore these tender, isolated spots in our emotional makeup. We can tap into penguin power to access these spaces. Penguin will guide us into our icy realms and help us swim to a place of understanding and acceptance.

Part and parcel with this guidance is molting. Penguins molt, and that is symbolic of renewal. Penguins show us how to shed what is unneeded and unwanted. After releasing, penguins remind us that we can grow, regenerate, and come alive again with renewed vitality.

I think my dream confirms the message I got from one of the readers last night.  In her reading, she said the the masculine twin, although raring to go forward into union with the feminine upon realizing who she was in the grand scheme of things, will be thrown roadblocks by the Universe because he still needs some healing done.  This may delay the Union but it is necessary, and that is why God is asking him to slow down, so that he may be ready for ultimate union with the Feminine.

This has also been reflected in my card readings (by myself and others) about my twin flame journey.  He wants things done fast.  He is working behind the scenes to get everything in place so that when the time comes, everything will proceed smoothly and without a hitch.  In fact, in my recent readings, everything is in place already and I was wondering what brought about the delay.  I guess this is it.

He still needs to heal and process the fact that he’s done the whole parenting thing and it’s now come to completion.  That’s why the penguins were eating their young in my dream.  He still has to integrate that within himself.

And this brings me to the second part of my dream about “Pierce Brosnan”.  Why Pierce Brosnan?  I don’t know.  Maybe it ‘s because I still think he’s hot even if he’s mature in years, just like my twin. This time, it was as if I was viewing him through Facetime or Skype.  He was at a restaurant waiting for his meal.  We were still talking — well, basically flirting with each other, and he was enthusiastically describing this delicious triple decker burger that he was salivating for.  The weird thing was, I knew that the order he was waiting for was steak.

This was my twin’s message for me, undoubtedly.  After taking on the role of awesome dad, he’s telling me that he’s looking forward to nourishing himself next, and yes, with me.  I do think that the burger he was describing was MY order while he got the steak.  Umm… I wouldn’t object to eating steak too, ya know? That’s why it was via FT or Skype.  He was telling me to anticipate it; that we will be fed; that good things are coming; and that we will be sated.

So, as it turns out, my dream wasn’t so strange after all.  It was perfect.  And the Universe gave me the message in a way I knew how to decode.

Thank you, Universe.  Sending my love to my Twin Flame and to everyone out there who is on the same journey.