Tag Archives: manifestation

Dreams Coming True

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There are butterflies in my stomach right now, which I’ve been choosing to ignore for the past couple of hours by mindlessly scrolling through my FB retail feed hoping to score some really good designer shoes. Yes, I do retail therapy.  For the past months, it’s been tarot cards which shifted to crystals. After that, it was luxury bags, then now, shoes — which really doesn’t make any sense because I have more shoes than I can wear.  I could go through several months without repeating wearing a pair of shoes. Actually, the same goes for clothes.  That is, if there wasn’t a dress code every day.

Competitive shopping, bargain hunting — whatever you call it — it’s like cocaine to me.  I get a high whenever I score.

Anyway, I digress.  I was here to talk about the butterflies.

It is entirely possible that one of my dreams is coming true tomorrow.  I will finally be getting a new car.  My old trusty steed is a bit older than my years as a lawyer.  It was given on my graduating year in law school by my parents. We were rich then.  So it was top of the line, with sunroof and all the enameled borders with lux leather seats. My dad was in power then so it was easy to get vanity plates – my name and birthday.  So you can imagine how difficult it was to give it away.

I was never much for distance driving so it was well kept. Mileage was low.  Well-maintained and all that.  Until my exodus to the US where my series of unfortunate events (the dark *years* of my soul) took place and my car was left with the care of my parents.  Who lent it to my sister and brother-in-law. Who took it places. Far, far, places, carrying the heaviest cargo imaginable (i.e. sound stage equipment) and when I came back after a couple of years, not a thank you from them.  Nothing. In fact, I had to track it down because he (bro in law) left it in some mechanic’s place were it was stored for more than a month because he didn’t have the moolah to “bail it out” and pay for the repairs.

In fact, it was so run down that, initially, I felt shame driving it.  Especially whenever I would get together with my nose-up-in-the-air friends.  If before, I was the “family car” where everyone got to ride because I was so generous with it, I took no passengers because the car was literally crumbling inside.

But I brought it back to life.  That mechanic and his entire family have become close to me.  So much so that if I break down wherever in the city, they come get me and bring me home. They deliver my car after repairs to my house. And I am so grateful to them for keeping my trusty steed alive.

I’m going to miss that car.  I’m still going to keep it.  I tried to sell it once and was told that it didn’t have resale value, lol.  That it was just for personal use; that it was all it was good for.  But that car got me places I needed to go.  I know it’s ailments, how it coughs and sputters, which doors lock and which don’t  (didn’t really worry about getting robbed or carnapped even if some of the doors could just be opened at will because even the carnappers would scoff and pick a better model to nick). I’ve drained its battery to empty so many times because of my “energy spurts”.  And that car has brought me closer to God because every time it rains, I pray like I’ve never prayed before just so that it won’t conk out on the way home. That car was like my “Wilson” on Cast Away.

So I’m crying now as I write this and having mixed feelings. I am so, so grateful that I got to this point when, before, I lived under the premise of “until it gives out” and after that, I’ll make do.  The people around me who know I’m getting a new car are making a big deal out of it. My dad is negotiating his pride that he’s having difficulty getting a new car and has to use one that his “nemesis” lent out to him when I’ll be getting a new one.

I can’t do anything about that.

On my end, I’m glad that it’s come before the rainy season because, seriously, I get so stressed out driving when it starts to rain.  There was a time that the roof leaked into the car even.  Imagine that.  And I plan to fix “her” up once I get my finances in order again.

I feel that this is all part of the “new beginning” in store for me.  Before, it was prophesied that my twin would get me a new car.  And I banked on that.  Prayed that he would come sooner so that I could get a new car faster. Turns out that I had to get it myself. No biggie.  We do what we can in the now.

Okay. Tomorrow’s a big day.  Good night.

 

The Bride

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I had a somewhat troubling dream last night. I dreamt that my sister (who is actually married) got married again and I wasn’t invited to the wedding. And this was when all this time, I had been interacting with her and she didn’t even think to mention it.

When I found out — I actually don’t know how I found out in my dream, but I did  — scenes from the real wedding that I missed flashed back and I was taken to that timeline.  It was as if I was there. It was a photoshoot and my sister was in her wedding dress, and I don’t know why that in my dream it was an interactive flashback because I went back to it, but was also in it and during that time I was able to ask my sister why I wasn’t invited.  She told me that she couldn’t tell me because daddy told her not to. So they all kept it from me.

Needless to say, I woke up feeling bad about that. I probably have to ask Linamarie what it means.

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Came back from my vacay in Coron (a.k.a. Paradise) and it was wonderful.  Another wish granted which I am truly, truly grateful for.  You see, I did want a vacation because ever since I had started doing “mission work”, my weekends have been working weekends as well. If I wasn’t doing real life work and mission, it was because I was purging from an energy download and was too physically exhausted or ill to do anything else but take a back seat.

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So I was just wishing for it, and the next thing I know, my cousin’s coming over, and I get to be tour guide and it’s basically all-expenses paid. At least, the bulk of it was paid for — the flight and the awesome hotel by the Bayside. Most meals were paid for too, and all I had to spring for was the tour which really wasn’t much because it included a lunch buffet.

I was wondering how I would prepare myself for this major eclipse but it seemed as though the Universe got it covered.  For this Solar Eclipse in Pisces — I found myself surrounded by the most beautiful and pristine water and islands with the sun shining down on me. I was able to ground in the sand, breathe in nature, swim up close with the fishies, and feel the sun on my skin and the wind in my hair.

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But what of the chaotic energies that everyone’s been feeling? As I was able to check my Facebook from time to time, I did get the sense that everyone was in a “Tower” moment, that the energies were descending on them real hard resulting in challenging moments of purging, mostly physical and emotional.

Well, that didn’t escape me either.  The Universe saw to that as well.  Like I said, every time there’s an energetic download, my body goes haywire and that happened on this trip too.

First, I knew I was going to get my period right smack in the middle of this trip.  Now, my periods are debilitating and I often skip work because there’s nothing much I can do when it hits me except lay down in bed wishing the cramps to go away. I was only wishing and praying that it could be delayed a day or two so that I could enjoy the swimming without being hounded by sharks because of the scent of blood. My prayers were granted.  But when swimming was over and it was time for my monthly visit, it came with a vengeance.

Second, while I totally expected to deal with that, what I didn’t expect was this stomach purge. Scientifically, I would attribute it to gulping down massive amounts of brackish water in Kayangin Lake. (I thought it was fine since just the “freshwater” part stuck to my brain and I totally forgot that it wasn’t “fresh” but “brackish”) Intuitively though, I knew that this is the Universe’s way of getting me to purge.

And, boy, did I purge! It’s been going on for five days now.  I actually thought I got a parasite because my cousin kept bringing up the show “Monsters Inside Me” which I also watch and got me paranoid.  It was weird though.  Here I was, having one of the toughest stomachs around, meaning I could eat street food, drink tepid water, etc. etc. without balking, and instead of these fragile stomached tourists getting sick, it’s me that gets hit. What gives, eh?

By the third day, my doctor sister tells me to get a stool exam because I’m just gushing the stuff and not eating anything solid.  Turns out it isn’t a parasite, but it is bacteria.  Lots of it.  It kind of makes me queasy thinking I was swimming in a pool of bacteria though. I mean, if someone with an open wound was swimming there, what would happen to them?

Anyway, I haven’t been eating and whatever I’ve eaten during “feasting with the tourists” has now been eliminated (sorry for the pun). But I get it.  I needed that because now I can actually feel my light body. It’s like it’s superimposed on me and not densely stuck to my 3D physical body. So the 5D part of it is awesome; but I’m still reeling from the 3D part of it.  My stomach still feels queasy and I don’t feel that confident eating solid food. Of course, I did have cake, haha.

Anyway, that’s my update.   I’m supposed to do weekly readings tonight, but I’m still tired. I don’t know.  Let’s see. 🙂

 

 

The Little or Big Cry

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I finally got a big chunk of sleep and while I did, I dreamt of my Twin.

I was billeted in the hotel where we used to meet whenever he’s in the country. I was accompanied, I think, by my aunt whom I used to live with in the US. I was in the hotel restaurant/cafe when he walked in with the karmic.  His whole family was with him.

I didn’t recognize him at first because he was smaller than the karmic and a whole lot older.  Normally, he towers over her at 6’3″ — she’s 5’4″, practically my height, but in my dream, he was almost shrivelled, kind of how Bilbo Baggins looked like in the Fellowship of the Ring as opposed to when he was played by Martin Freeman in the Hobbit.

I was observing them from where I sat in the restaurant.  And I could see that he was truly genuinely affectionate with her, wrapping her arms around her at times, holding her hand;  it was, I felt, as though he had totally forgotten about my existence in the midst of this domestic bliss.

She, on the other hand, was bigger and stockier than she usually is.  She was quite jolly and in love, wearing a monochromatic theme in silver — a long sleeved-cardigan with inner tank and loose fitting trousers. They were on a family vacation, and for some reason, in my dream, we were given the same room, a big one though.

I was wondering when I would approach him.  And my dream turned into some kind of vignette where I would go to places that he would likely visit — the golf course, in my dream — hoping to bump into him.

Last shot was me left in the room with the girlfriend of his eldest son, D. She was just chilling there and I thought to strike up a conversation.  She was very friendly and told me what it was like to be part of the family.  I asked her whatever happened to R, D’s ex, and she told me that R preceded her, and that was ages ago because D was now 29.  And if you translate that into human years, that would be six or more years into the future.

Wow.

That was it though. We never did get to meet up again in person; and I just found out what a lovely time he was having with his family. In my dream, I felt that he was completely smitten with the karmic, falling in love all over again with her.

So, I wake up thinking that maybe this is the “memory” or the sadness that I had to bring up and have a “little or big cry” about, that bit he told me about where he said that he could see himself growing old with her. I did ask my guides for a message before I slept, and for the first time in a looong time, I dreamt about my twin again.

In my dream, I decided not to approach him anymore because he was clearly, obviously happy. I wouldn’t go as far to say that I was happy for him, but I did feel that I had come to terms with the situation, accepted the fact that he was happy, and just let it go.

So, here I am, typing it all down before I forget. I still haven’t had that “little or big cry” about it, just a pervading feeling of sadness.  It could very well be true that, at this point in time, having been in separation for so long, that I’d been totally wiped out of his memory. Or that the power of the evil karmic has seeped into his bones causing him to age, shrink, and do her bidding over his free will — but that’s just wishful thinking on my part, that he isn’t doing this out of his own volition.

Perhaps this is supposed to be the memory that I’ve suppressed and that I need to unearth.  I hadn’t really thought about what he said in so long because it hurt.  He had already decided to spend all his tomorrows with “her”, regardless of what those days may bring.  He picked her.  He wanted to take a chance with her. He decided to stay with her.

And what did Hazel say I should do once this sadness comes to the fore?  Just release it. Let my defenses down with my sadness and feelings.  She said that this little bit is the only thing that’s blocking me from going towards my destiny; that I’ve been doing such a good job seeing things as energy that I’ve blocked off feeling this. So what I’m supposed to do is just feel this — btw, yes, I did have a cry while writing this — but don’t wallow in the sadness. Just let it go.

So I get it now.  That vision of him growing old with his family and totally forgetting about me was a fear that I’ve suppressed.  It’s totally at odds with me believing in him, in the path, and what the future holds for us as twin flames. It’s incongruent with the our nature as one soul coming towards each other for union after having spent several lifetimes apart in order to grow. So, there.  I acknowledge that it was a fear, but I embrace; I release it; and I choose to grow beyond that fear; to fully trust the Universe that the future it holds for me and my twin is better than anything I could have ever imagined. And, yes, that is in 3D, because energetic union in 5D and in higher dimensions, that’s already the goal. So what else could that pertain to but 3D where all illusion exists?

I can feel my vibration rise several notches higher now than when I started writing this post. And it feels good. So I thank my Higher Self and Spiritual Team for unearthing that memory which caused me so much pain and showing me what it is that I had blocked out in my dreams. I do, however, in my supreme and sovereign power, choose NOT to manifest it.

We are Creators, both you and I. Remember that.

 

Enter the Lion’s Gate

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Before I post about my lion’s gate thoughts, I just have a quick follow up to my post, One, which I wrote a couple of days ago.  Remember, I said that I dreamt about an old high school classmate who was dirtied and in uniform by the roadside?  That afternoon, after I had journaled my dream as soon as I woke up in the morning, I went to the mall because I had an appointment with my Destiny Adviser and run some quick errands before my meeting.

I was on my way when guess who I bumped into? Yes, the girl that I had dreamt about.  She was shopping with her mom and since I also knew her mom, we exchanged pleasantries and went our own ways.  It was a brief moment, but for that moment, I sensed her energy signature.  It was a very muted one, very sad, low and weak.  But I was in a rush and so was she.

Anyway, I just found it strange that I dream about this girl and the next thing I know, she’s right there in front of me! And I have never bumped into this girl since high school.  We meet during high school reunions, but that’s it.  We’re not close.  So I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with that.

Here’s another instance in which I felt the Universe was supporting me.  Around two weeks ago, an uncompleted Windows 10 update screwed up my computer.  Initial check with the tech guys said that none of my files could be saved (tons of movies, pics, and my iTunes).  But after much prayer, the tech guy did some techie thing and saved ALL MY DATA. Thing was, my HD was fried so I needed storage for my data, but I didn’t have extra funds to get a new one which would cost nearly $100.  I would have extra cash had I not lent it to our helper who needed to go home to the province to tend to her sick child.  She wasn’t my “charge” so to speak, since she provided services to my parents and brother, but I felt compassion for her situation and lent her.

Anyway, lots of expenses coming up and I just did what I could with what I had, transferring files to different computers just so that they would all fit.  They barely did.  This was important, but I figured, it could wait.  Until last night, I see an ad for 1TB internal laptop HDDs for — get this — $30. They were pullouts from brand new laptops, replaced with SSDs.  And I had external casing, so housing it wouldn’t be a problem.  So, thanks to the powers of the Universe, I got 2TB for around $60. Yay!!!!! And I am currently transferring files onto them as I type.

Okay, onto Lion’s Gate.  Last night, I did a reading specifically about energies surrounding me and my twin this Lion’s Gate.  I had no idea what spread to use, but I asked Spirit to guide me, and I was guided to do this spread in the form of the Infinity Symbol.  It was amazing too because when you read for the masculine, since we have merged in 5D, you could see his “story” flowing into the Divine Feminine, and vice-versa.  The middle card that tied the two “loops” was the Six of Pentacles – generosity, sharing.  And in my deck, it was pretty obvious that the Lion’s Gate energies would affect the masculine more, because the female in the card was already “illumined” by the light shining through the window.  So my twin would be given more energy so that he could take things in the physical (as evidenced by the pentacles above him).

I asked for a message from my Ascended Masters deck to tie the reading up and guess what cards fell out when I was shuffling? Twin Flame and Trust. Beautiful! 🙂 And the card at the bottom of the deck was the Wheel of Fortune. Basically, the reading was explaining how the influx of energies was going to affect us.  For my twin, it will help him get to a point of clarity and act faster to materialize our union.  For me, I was again told to hold the energies and recognize my power as a creator of my reality.

Next, I did a  Lion’s Gate Week Spread for the both of us. This time, I was guided to use a 9-card spread and I asked how this week would turn out for the both of us in 3D.  The Lovers card was smack right in the center, and it was again a beautiful spread.  The bottom of the deck card was the Ace of Swords, which meant that honesty and being true to our authentic selves is the underlying energy this week.

Manifesting this new beginning with my twin will call for an honest assessment of the situation.  We’ve both been doing our healing under the radar, both guided by the Divine while at it, and relief and sanctuary are now forthcoming.  There will be celebrations and union will be in the physical, as was the message of the Lovers Card in this particular deck, where the Divine is handing the fruit to the couple. The fruit is the same one that bloomed from the trees that grew off from the masculine and feminine, both a result from their own healing and growth, and now, they are being handed it.

Okay, I can’t remember the rest of the reading, but it was good. 🙂

That’s it for now.  I think tomorrow — August 8th — I shall be visualizing and enriching the timeline where my twin and I are together, and grounding the new light codes and energies into Gaia.

 

 

 

 

New Year’s Eve Dream

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I was able to “extricate” myself out of Media Noche by telling my mom that I wasn’t going down because of the dogs and that I was giving Carlo a chance to celebrate with them.

I suppose I felt that a great burden had been lifted from me after that because I felt very tired even though I had gotten enough sleep the night before, and I took a nap.

Then I dreamt.

I was in my grandparent’s old house in Congressional Village where I remember many good times and spending most of my childhood in since both my parents were often at work.

There was a party and I had brought T, my reader, along to take care of my CB, my dog.

We were swimming in the clear blue waters of the pool and I brought CB with me.  Out of the blue, I saw this red car filled with people come out of nowhere, threatening to crash land into the pool.  I went under the spot where it was about to hit and crash and used the buoyancy of the water in order to “soften” the blow.

The car didn’t crash.  Instead, it landed on my shoulders in the water.  There were people inside the car trying to get out and the other people in the party were trying to get them out. Debris was all over the pool and the water turned murky and muddy because of the dirt that came in with the car.

I was frantic, looking all around for CB who was in the pool with me in the beginning, wanting to know she was okay.  I called out for her but she didn’t come.  Some other people were helping me out but they had summoned all sorts of animals but not CB.

I went out of the pool to look for her and eventually found her hiding somewhere.  I looked for T to tell her to bathe her while I took a bath myself.  T, by the way, was dressed in a purple gown, wrong for the occasion, but she probably thought she had to dress up to be in the party.

I was looking for a free bathroom upstairs.  The kids’ bathroom was occupied, so I went to the bathroom of my grandparents.  I don’t know why I dreamt up this particular detail, but my grandmother had a carousel of open conditioner sachets.

That’s it.

My interpretation:  Basically, it just says that before, I had good feelings about my family and everything, but even though I had been the one who had prevented them from crash landing,  spiritually and karmically speaking, that is, they already muddied the waters of my emotions and experience with their reckless behavior.

My reader being overdressed just reflects the way I am incredulous about their (her including my other reader) prophecies, that I feel they are telling me something better than what will really happen.

CB being there is just plain straightforward.  My dogs bring me comfort in this world of ungrateful, advantage-taking humans.

Happy New Year!  Just six more hours to next year.  My celebration is going to be a quiet and solitary one with my dogs.  I’m keeping expectations low this year.  I just want to thrive, get through this and go on with my “tour of duty”.  Fun and happiness are luxuries for me.  It’s the vexations that I want to throw out the window for good, thankless people included.

 

 

The Magician’s Secret

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This is going to be short.  Another tip on manifestation.

I had been looking for a soft toilet seat cover which is not so common in my country.  I’d been looking at all the usual stores and the ones I found were either overpriced imports from the US or stores that didn’t have it in stock at all.

I gave it a rest and just stopped looking for it.  Told myself that my old seat, although tattered, would have to do.  Today, while I was looking for something else entirely, I see it right in front of me.  The exact same seat I was looking to replace, at the right price range.  So I didn’t bother thinking about it and just swooped it up to purchase then and there.

A couple of days ago, I had just watched “Now You See Me” again which was a movie about four illusionists and their magic.  Throughout the movie, they were giving tips on how to  do magic — misdirection is the key.  The more you look, the less you see.  And because you’re looking elsewhere and not expecting it to be anywhere else other than where you think it’s going to be, that’s when the trick comes to fruition. Voila!

That’s exactly what happened when I wanted to manifest my toilet seat cover.

And that’s what I’m going to do for the next couple of months or so to manifest my desired reality — misdirection.  I’m going to let the Universe take care of it while I pursue my own interests and attempt to amuse myself.

In other matters, I’m so ready to give this “bulking” a rest. From a size 4, I’m pushing onto a size 8 and it feels like crap.  I keep telling myself that it’s in preparation for a “cut”, but that’s just bullshit bodybuilding justification especially since, technically, the only weight I lift is my body weight.  All the skinny clothes I’ve bought are starting to feel snug but I refuse to buy bigger sizes for fear of being complacent.  

No, this is one other thing I’ll have to work for.  I won’t be buying any new clothes in the meantime because I don’t find joy in it any more.

Anyway, that’s my manifestation tip for the day.  Take your eyes off of it and then, you will see.  Counterintuitive, I know, but it’s the dichotomy of the Universe.

 

Universal Law of Detachment

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Call me silly, but I’m wearing the wedding dress I picked out for my civil wedding today.  I figured, if M doesn’t come at all or make contact with me, I may not get to wear it and the white will just yellow out from lack of use.  That would be such a shame since it’s such a pretty dress.

So I wore it anyway.  According to the cards, both mine and my reader’s, M was supposed to fix things with me last October, November, and even this month, December.  So, I waited, and still, nothing.  Even when I considered the possibility of another person coming into my life, the answer was still the same.  Wait for him.  He’s got things planned.  Everything will come as a surprise.

But still, nothing.

I’ve asked my Higher Self, my Spiritual Team, my angels, the Archangels, the Ascended Masters, and the members of the Karmic Board.

Our soul contracts have both been amended.  His soul fragments have been retrieved (by me — and yes, that was a tough one).  The earth-bound persons and spirits interfering with both our free will have been exorcised and banished (with no less than the silver platinum ray). And whenever I ask the spiritual authorities for confirmation of all these things, the answer is positive.  So, in that realm, everything seems to be in order for our union here in the Third Dimension.

As above, so below.

So where’s the block?

My reader now is on the verge of giving up on M because despite being accurate in most, if not all, readings that he gives me, all his predictions about M don’t manifest.  And, yes, he is starting to sound like a fool, and I, the bigger one, for believing in him.

In his readings and mine, everything seems to be ready.  It’s as if the “execute” button is just waiting to be pressed, and everything will start to unfold with surprising alacrity.

In my readings though — which I do trust since they jive with my reader’s cards even though I have no idea which cards to pick at the time — there are two “off ” cards which I do not wholly understand which repeatedly appear — the Devil and the Eight of Swords.  I couldn’t tell if they pertained to him or me.

And today, while I was searching for answers, I chanced upon an article that mentioned the Law of Universal Detachment.  I don’t think it’s just a random thing since from experience, I generally get the answers I seek.  I’m a firm believer in “Ask and you shall be given.”

I think that those two cards pertain to me.  That, as long as I am attached to the outcome, it won’t manifest.

The good news is I’m well on my way to getting detached.  This dress, for example.  I figured that if he does come and I do have to wear something for the wedding, then I’ll just have it cleaned.  Wearing it doesn’t mean that I won’t ever have the chance to wear it again.  Besides, as I do believe in “Prepared Redundancy”, I have a wedding dress back-up. So I don’t know if it really counts.

Another issue I have in letting go is the fear of getting someone else that is subpar from what I wished to create.  Say you asked for a red BMW.  Allowing the Universe to deliver, might mean ANY red car.  I suppose that’s okay if you asked for a car, any car, just as long as it’s red.  And I sort of feel that accepting whatever manifests is a subversion of my free will.

So, in the scenario that I’m creating with M, along with its associated perks, he would be the base ingredient.  The rest is preferable, but negotiable.

If I turn over the reigns to the Universe, and I have an order which is much more complicated than just your “usual burger and fries”, will It just give me any guy? A replica?  Premium quality? Is It expecting me to say, “Thank you.  This will do,” instead of “Excellent job! You got it right!”

I suppose the Universe doesn’t care as long as It delivers. Order a plate of scrambled eggs and even if you get them fried, it doesn’t matter because they’re still eggs. But you didn’t want fried eggs; you wanted them scrambled.

Does that make me a tough customer?  I suppose so.  I’ve always been that way.

So if the Universe is going to give me some version of M anyway, what’s with all the guidance with the cards?

At this point, does it even matter? (Yes, it does.) Well, I’m all out of options anyway as regards him.  The Universe has me beaten to a pulp, and I can’t really say that the journey was “enjoyable” to get to this point.  No.  Definitely not.  It was arduous, miserable, painstaking, and filled with loneliness and suffering.  And that’s still without the treacherous backstabbing of my family.

What’s more, giving up at this point feels like I’m giving up on the Universe’s awesome power to deliver. It’s like telling an actor, “Give me your best,” and when they deliver, you get to say, “Is that it? Oh, well, I guess that’s it.”

And I’m just hoping it will be the same as when I pronounced Maximus an utterly dumb dog when he turned out to be smarter than most.  (Seriously, he can pick out “platypus” from a range of toys laid out for him to pick from).

I suppose I want to be surprised, and awed, and amazed at how the Universe, with Its infinite power, can deliver something greater than I expected regardless of the fact that my standards were high in the first place.

I want to see how It works things out while respecting my free will, my preference in this lifetime, to be with him.

Anyway, I’ve taken my first step towards detachment.  Just a couple of minutes ago, I sent him a message wishing him well.  It doesn’t even say “delivered” like it used to before, so maybe he’s blocked me or, at the very least, giving the benefit of the doubt, it’s on “airplane mode”. Still, I shouldn’t care right?  The only thing I should care about is that I sent the message.  If we are indeed star-crossed lovers, then at some point in time, he’ll get to read it.  Whether it will be too late for the both of us then, what else can we do about it?

If he does get the message and chooses to ignore it because he’s got his own thing going for him, then, that’s it, I suppose.  Again, what else can be done?

If he chooses to respond and it’s good news for me, then well and good.

If he chooses to respond and the outcome is negative for me, then, I have no choice but to roll with the punches.

In any case, today was a good day to do this.  In my wedding dress; for a wedding that didn’t happen.