Tag Archives: 3D

Slightly Off Tangent


It’s finally done.  I passed all the requirements needed for a possible appointment in the judiciary.  I’m still feeling ambivalent about it – especially in the light of reports that first timers never get appointed, and of course, by the fact that if ever I do get either of the posts I applied for, that my life will do a 180 degree turnaround just when I’m just getting used to it. But what the hey, if I don’t pass what is required, that option will never be available to me. So there it is, I threw in my bet for a game of russian roulette.

If I reference all the readings regarding me and my twin with this point in my life, yes, I was supposed to be going through this toxic time of putting things together on the fly, but it was supposed to be for my wedding with my twin, not my career.

It’s been sort of the same with all the other forecasts and events — slightly off tangent.  All those things that happened, I was supposed to be doing with the physical embodiment of my twin, but I ended up doing it alone. They all still came to pass, but not with my twin.  So I have a theory on that.

The stuff that’s prophesied for me and my twin, they’re still bound to happen, but both of us have to be ready for it.  If my twin’s not ready yet, it still happens to me, but since he isn’t around yet, I get to go at it by my lonesome. If the point was to show me that I could do it sans my twin, then okay, point taken. I would have done it anyway for lack of choice, right?  Then again, I’m getting tired of this argument because no one from above seems to hear me or recognize it, that the point I’d want to get to is to enjoy life with the physical embodiment of my twin because that’s one thing I don’t know how to do at this point in my life.  I’ve been going solo for most of it.

Anyway, during this brief period of chaos and confusion when I was getting my requirements together in order to meet that fricking deadline, I was hoping to get some guidance through my dreams.  And yes, my dreams have been prolific, except for the fact that I can barely remember them once I get my groove on with my gargantuan list of things to do.

The significant points that I remember though, I told myself, I would write about. So here goes.

Yesterday, I had a dream sequence that was action packed.  It was very Inception-like because I knew I was dreaming something that I had dreamt before in my dream.  (Yes, confusing, I know) It was like a remake of a tv show, and what I remember was that the show was entitled “Event Horizon”.  That’s what was repeated several times over in my dream so that’s what I ended up remembering.  I wished I remembered more because it’s important.

In the middle of rushing last night for today’s deadline, I googled.  Apparently, it’s a scientific term.  This is what I got:

“[A]n event horizon is a boundary in spacetime beyond which events cannot affect an outside observer; a point of no return.” 

A point of no return?  WTF did I just get myself into again? And, better yet, what was this pertaining to?  My love life? My career? My soul path?  What invisible boundary did I cross this time?

Sometimes I just wish that these messages came with a footnote for peace of mind.

Then, there was this morning’s dream.  I was supposed to wake up early since I realized that there were a couple more things I had to get done in the office to complete my requirements.  I slept early, at around 10pm, and did wake up at around 6am, but was mid-dream, plus my body needed more rest so I ended up waking up late. I felt there was a message in my dream, but all I remember was that I was being shown these shoes that I was wearing.  They looked like pearls at first, but upon focusing and zooming in on them, I realized they were shoes that were glowing with a pearlescent white light.  I didn’t recognize they were shoes at first because the light was glowing so bright.

This is what I got about shoes:

“A dream about shoes may symbolize how you are moving forward on your career path or spiritual path in life.”

This one, too:

“Shoes in general suggest the situation you are in or a position in life. They can also indicate your character or chosen way of life through what type of shoe – a plain shoe, a fancy  expensive shoe, an impractical and painful shoe.”

So, considering that I was shown to be wearing shoes glowing with a bright light, does that mean I’m enlightened? If I would put the most positive spin on it in my 3D life, it would mean that whatever path I choose to take, wherever my feet would take me, I would be guided by the light. Of course, that doesn’t say anything about love or if my dreams of tangible wealth would manifest, both of which are foremost in my mind.

I also wish that those glowing shoes were a sign that my “Labors of Hercules” are over.  Something like a diploma or a graduation present.  Kind of like Dorothy’s Red Ruby Shoes that will “take her home” if you click on it thrice.  So, have I slayed the Wicked Witch of the West?  I hope so.  I am very tired.

Some twin flame videos say that the only time we will get into union with our twin is if we fully practice our mission.  One even said that the first wavers will come into physical union this August-October.  And that the second wavers are slated for 2019.

Re practicing my mission – I have no idea what to do with my spiritual gifts.  I use them when I can, but I’m not sure if spirit is telling me to offer services in this regard.  I feel I need to meditate deeply for answers on this.

The last time, I had already fulfilled my earthly mission which was to educate my earthly family.  I’ve done that.  Graduated from it already as I’ve recounted in my previous posts.  The last “mission order” I got was to have a family of my own and be happy. Unless that’s changed, of course.  I don’t know.

Re physical union – I’ve sort of surrendered this.  Divine timing, they said.  And, from my readings, it looks like my twin is still emoting about his failed marriage, and it will take some time for him to realize that we are meant to get together to do more for the planet.  It’s almost futile to ask at this point.

Re my career – tbh, it’s really just something I’m doing to survive while waiting for my twin and to survive, of course.

I feel that time is running out.  And 2019?  Wow.  I have no words for that.  Can’t even bear to contemplate going through whatever I will have to go through to get there only to learn the lesson “See? You were able to get through it on your own! Yay!”  Mercy, I beg of the heavens. If all this striving in solitary is all that is planned for me, Mercy and Compassion, please.

And hells, yeah, now, I’m publicly crying in a cafe as I’m typing this out.  Got to stop. Bye for now.




I have to write this down because I feel that my dream has an important message for me, but it is slowly slipping away.

What I remember is that I was going somewhere, on a journey. And I was checking out this coat which was brown, and seemed to be attached to this huge stuffed bear. It was inexpensive, and had white crocheted pockets, and the edges of the coat were lined with fur. I was looking at myself in the mirror, and I was asking someone beside me, “Is this okay?”, but I remember feeling good about it and thinking it looked good, just that other people might think me strange for wearing a giant stuffed bear on my back.

The thing is, in my dream, this scene wasn’t totally in 3D. It started out that way, but it would switch “filters” so to speak between 3D and 5D. In its 5D version, I could see shades of violet and gold emanating from me, with a crystalline like specks, like glitter and little diamonds, floating in the air. And the bear wasn’t a bear, but more like the head of a lion.

Now, I know what this segment means, but let me get on with the rest of my dream first before I forget.

Next, it seemed like I was travelling on a train, this was only me.  I was looking out the window and seeing events pass me by.  There seemed to have been an accident but the weird part is that I was both in the train and investigating the scene of the accident at the same time. Again, it would flit between these two scenes. From the train window, I saw people dirtied, but strangely enough, not bloodied.  I saw an old high school classmate in uniform, dirtied and fallen on the ground, and I somehow knew that our high school valedictorian was also affected by whatever that had happened.  Her name is Issa, short for Clarissa.

In my dream, as in real life, she knew almost everything.  In this instance, in my dream, she was a master at decoding the messages of the tarot. And it felt that in my dream, I was sort of taking a test.  Like she was explaining to me the things that I was seeing through my train window, but even before doing so, I already had my own interpretation of it which synced up with what she was explaining.  I don’t know how to describe it, but if this were totally in 3D, it would be like a teacher telling you how to do things, and me going, “Yeah, I know.”

Before I continue analyzing this message, I have to tell you what happened yesterday.  I was very sad, low energy, and basically unsure.  In fact, I had to call on Archangel Michael to send me the blue ray to protect my energy field so that no further negativity would seep through.  I also called on St. Germain for the Silver Violet Flame so that whatever negativity that had gotten through would be transformed.  So I started the day feeling blah, half wishing that I didn’t have to go to work, but also knowing that if I didn’t, I would just stay at home and mope. I had questions.  I had doubts about this whole twin flame journey. The same questions I had for Agatha (Psychicconsultants on You Tube) were still lingering and there were no answers.  In other words, I had doubts that my twin flame relationship would manifest in 3D.  And I wasn’t mad, just resigned and trying to accept my fate in 3D.

I asked my guides for answers, but on the drive to the office, my head was a mess. It was a hodgepodge of thoughts and worries.  I literally had to refocus my attention and remember that I had just asked a question that I was seeking the answer to.  And then, that’s when this song came on the radio, one that I had just heard for the first time, and it seemed to speak directly to me.  I learned later on that it was Katy Perry’s “Rise” and these were the lyrics that I caught:

“Oh, ye of so little faith
Don’t doubt it, don’t doubt it
Victory is in my veins
I know it, I know it
And I will not negotiate
I’ll fight it, I’ll fight it
I will transform

When, when the fire’s at my feet again
And the vultures all start circling
They’re whispering, ‘You’re out of time’
But still I rise

This is no mistake, no accident
When you think the final nail is in
Think again
Don’t be surprised
I will still rise

I must stay conscious
Through the madness and chaos
So I call on my angels
They say

Oh, ye of so little faith
Don’t doubt it, don’t doubt it
Victory is in your veins
You know it, you know it
And you will not negotiate
Just fight it, just fight it
And be transformed”

Now, if that wasn’t a clear message, I don’t know what is. Spirit was telling me to hold on. And, yes, I have been calling on my Higher Self and Spiritual Team, my angels, the Archangels and Ascended Masters — anyone from above I can call on for help.  And this was what they said:

“So I call on my angels
They say

Oh, ye of so little faith
Don’t doubt it, don’t doubt it
Victory is in your veins
You know it, you know it
And you will not negotiate
Just fight it, just fight it
And be transformed”

I navigated through the day and at the end of my workday, after I had finished running errands at the mall and having coffee, I left to go home.  As I was exiting the parking area of the mall, a video on You Tube saying that the First Wavers of Twin Flames were sort of done with their mission came to mind.  Well, not really done with their mission, but they were done anchoring in energy and it that it was time for them to create now, for themselves, as their service in holding the energy for others was accomplished.  Timelines are merging and this is a tool for deeper healing because one can now access that part of them in a certain timeline and heal that through intent and feelings.

Personally, I felt that, and I had a hunch that whenever readers were talking about “new beginnings” that this would be part of it, but it was only more comprehensively explained to me why. This is why I’ve been getting the feeling of “I’ve done what I can.  Everything else from here on is up to you,” especially when dealing with humans.

Anyway, I went ahead and asked, hoping to receive a sign.  And when I turned on the radio, and the first song I hear is One Direction’s “Infinity”. You know, like the infinity symbol of twin flames? So, I guess, both my twin and I will be part of the first wavers.

But since sometimes I am uncertain if that was indeed the sign (I have the same problem with the GPS — take a right here? you mean now? here? then I miss the turn) I kept the question open for clarification. I swear, one day, I will write a children’s story about “The Lost Little Starseed”.

Anyway, I didn’t get any more striking messages all the way to my house, which brings me back to my dream. The central figure in my dream was Issa. In my native tongue, do you know what that means?


The first. Una.

But other questions were answered as well.  Someone up there is telling me that I’m ready.  Maybe for another chapter, I don’t know. I’m not sure. But the bear coat/3D, lion mane/5D is an honoring of my Lyran Starseed ancestry.  It seems that they are telling me that I get to “wear the coat” now even if I feel uncomfortable somewhat with what other people will say.  They are also telling me that I can now travel through various timelines and that I can read and convey messages of spirit. All in all, it seems as though I have completed a certain level of mastery.

Now, what am I to do? How do I share my gifts? That’s something I have to mull over.






Divine Compassion


I had many questions for Agatha — Psychic Consultants on YouTube — and I’m going to write them down here:

ME: “I watch your YouTube videos and your Vimeos. Some of the more salient points you make are: ‘it doesn’t matter whom you love, as long as you love’ and ‘it doesn’t matter whether you’re together or you’re apart because the point is self-realization’. So are you saying that physical union is close to impossible? (I won’t say impossible because everything is possible). Or that if we choose to unconditionally love our twin and stay faithful to that love, that we should resign ourselves to the fact that it may not manifest and still be happy with that outcome (i.e. that we are without a partner)? But wouldn’t someone who finds themselves without a partner still have to “make do/make happy by themselves” even without going on this twin flame journey anyway? What choice do they have unless they want to wallow in sadness and misery? It’s just that this TF thing is starting to seem like a support group for those unrequited in love.

AGATHA (Reply):  “Only if you assume that being happy regardless of being together or apart results in being apart! What if the opposite was true?? Everything I post is about people realising union and harmony in every possible form. I don’t believe the point is self-realisation at all… I believe the point is JOY. And living a life of total freedom and not needing circumstances to be anything in order to feel that joy. When we love regardless, when we let the energy and power of love flow through us, we don’t really care who or what is around, no, or whether we are in ‘union’ or not, alone or not. But that doesn’t mean surrendering to a life of unhappiness and not being in union or being alone! We get happy FIRST. We be in love FIRST. Then we get what we are destined for. Which is always our highest vision for ourselves. It just works that way. Well in my understanding of this work that I do simply because it is happening. I just share it how it moves through me. And I fully believe and experience that these concepts, when applied, have very positive, practical implications.”

ME (Rejoinder): If you review your video, you did say that the point was self-realization, however, I do believe in the points you raised about living a life of joy. But my question was geared towards reconciling both salient points you’ve made which brings me to “it doesn’t matter whom you love, as long as you love”. I think it would be safe to assume that most of your subscribers, even other readers here on YouTube, that are on a TF journey are seeking for union with their twin in 3D and not only in 5D. And that we’re doing the work (inner purging, healing, et al.) because we want union with our twin, not some karmic partner or person from the same soul group. Because, as I’ve mentioned, if the point was “love the one you’re with (regardless whether TF or not)”, why go on the TF journey anyway? And since in the course of connecting with your true authentic self, you figure out who the other half of your soul is which truth you CANNOT UNKNOW or deny if you still want to stay in your authentic self, then wouldn’t it be more honest to frame the TF journey as one wherein one “seeks an energetic union with your twin (in 5D) to generate tremendous amounts of love to give to others who are NOT your twin (in 3D)?” What bothers me is the fact that physical union is being dangled like a carrot on a stick when the bottomline is “once you get to this point of knowing and accepting the terms of your TF soul contract, you will also have learned to access so much love that you must necessarily spread it to others as part of your mission, regardless of the fact that you will be alone”. If the be all and end all is learning to redirect our love for our twin onto something/someone else, then why not come out with that from the beginning instead of getting up hopes for physical union with a twin?

Well, that’s where the conversation ends for now.  Still waiting if a reply is forthcoming.

Anyway, do you get my question?

1118692I meditated for some answers. First, I did a chakra clearing with the Soul Star. And, surprisingly, much clearing didn’t have to be done for my third eye, throat, heart, and the yellow chakra.  My orange chakra was the one that was blocked.  I felt it was the seat of fear and worries and it was gathering there, blocking the flow of energy, and it took some time to clear.  I even had to call in the Violet Flame to assist the clearing. My base chakra was fine.  Yes, glowing red light full of passion, haha.


After that, I was taken to the Akashic Records, it was like a big hall, a big library but without a roof. The books seemed color coded but there were some books that were gold. (All the books were edged in gold though). Our “host” was an old man but not really a man, not an alien, but he was different.  He didn’t speak, but just opened one gold book to some pages. The pages had a slight glow to them. The writing on it was glyphs, but I understood it. There was a mark saying that it was amended to allow union for me and M in 3D, in this lifetime.

My twin was beside me the whole time and I was showing it to him.  Next, we were taken to a pool, like in a resort.  Something like an infinity pool with the most azure blues. And this is where it gets strange because that same scene was cutting back and forth into its 5D and 3D version. The 5D had a backdrop of stars, glowing violet trees, while the 3D version was well — 3D, your usual resort.  I had to immerse myself in the pool.  It was just what I had to do. Just me, not my twin.

Quan Yin

After that, we returned to the Great Hall (that’s what I’ll call it again) but we didn’t linger there.  We found ourselves in the void, and that’s when Quan Yin, the Great Mother of Mercy and Compassion, appeared to us/me. She gave comfort, told me how she knew of my suffering, and assured me of union. Then she blessed me with a gift — it was a gem, like a red ruby that fit in the palm of my hand.  I didn’t know what it signified and when I asked, I was told that I’ll know what it is for when the time comes. I was motioning to share it with my twin who was beside me, but Quan Yin told me that he had his own too.  And that’s when she showed me his.  His wasn’t a ruby.  It was the same cut and shape, but his was more of like an ice blue diamond, and he emanated the same light of the gem throughout his light body. We were told that we were to work with both.

So I imagined connecting my and my gem to him and his through the infinity symbol running through our hearts, connecting us.  We were glowing with a pink light and on the outer was yellow light.  Similar to the yellow/orange ray that accompanied Quan Yin’s departure.  I thanked her for the message and decided to do a reading since I didn’t quite understand what the gem was for or her instructions.  (I know, I know, this starseed needs quite a lot of clarification)

I won’t delve into the details of the reading, but to my surprise, the cards I picked confirmed my encounter with Quan Yin.  My significator was the Page of Cups. After that came Judgment, and after that came Alchemy.  Now, the Alchemy card in my deck (I use the Wizard’s Tarot deck) is depicted by a scientist (or maybe he’s a wizard, I’m not sure), mixing two elements into one bottle — and get this — the elements he was mixing were the same color as the gems we had just received! Not only that, but the final card of the spread was the Lovers. And in my deck, it is pictured by two people facing each other, writing on a desk, and overseeing them is this beautiful lady with golden hair and dressed in a flowing white dressed, holding an red apple by her chest.

Whoaaaaaaa. And it was the same position/posture of Quan Yin prior to handing me the gem.

So I looked up what the gems meant. For the ruby gem, this is what I got:

The color of a healthy awakened heart chakra ranges from a soft pink to a deep ruby red. Ruby is the stone of Lady Master Nada, who is a member of the Karmic Board and serves as the representative of the third ray (pink ray) of divine love. She is very much involved with the initiation and sponsorship of twin flames and the Aquarian age family.

As for my twin’s ice blue diamond gem, apparently it comes from Mother Mary (both Mother Mary and Quan Yin are different aspects of the Divine Feminine). This is what Mother Mary said about it in a channeling:

“The initial purpose of this gift of my essence was to begin to heal the wounds and illusions that had grown so dense upon Gaia; to begin to open and heal your hearts and expand your consciousness that you might begin to understand that you were caught in the mental and emotional illusions of humanity. I more deeply seeded humanity in order that the heart consciousness awakening, the Great Awakening, could truly begin. x x x It is what you call instantaneous combustion of healing because you cannot go forward in the fullness of who you are unless that healing has occurred.

Again, I am awestruck.  My twin is awake and is healed or is currently being healed at a fast rate.  And my heart chakra has blossomed into a deeper love.  Alternatively, ruby also supports life situations and it is a welcome gift because my 3D life is teetering on the brink of collapse.  I’m just comforted knowing that the ascended masters know about it and are supporting me.

That’s it for now.  Namaste.



Call Me Grumpy


I was an absolute grump tonight at one of the last socials of the holiday season.

For context, in my country, the holiday season starts late September and lasts until mid-January.  I know, it doesn’t seem to make sense, but despite all the parties we’ve attended the prior year, there is a two week window for post-holiday celebrations with the groups of friends that you weren’t able to meet up with because one’s social calendar was already jam-packed before New Year.

And now, I’m exhausted, congested, irritable and with no filter.  Even my best friend was getting on my nerves with her name dropping and constant pursuit of gourmet food, Michelin-starred chefs, designer bags, and travel.  I just found it to be so pretentious, but I suppose had I been in a better mood, I would have just ignored it and not let myself be bothered by it.

Part of my angst was the realization that, after getting together with all my various groups of friends, that I was indeed financially poor. No, I can’t buy that Hermes Birkin on a whim.  I can’t just get a new car even if mine is already falling apart and I have to indian sit by the roadside because all I can afford is to superglue the driver car door handle so that I can get inside it.  I can’t just join in the conversation that starts with, “We were planning to go to Greece this summer.”  Or have a ready answer to, “We’re going to Vegas for our reunion; are you going?”

And although I know that these conversations are inevitable in this worldly dimension, that happens to be the dimension I’m living in right now.  Yes, there are moments when the more divine part of my nature shines through and there is respite somewhat, but this dimension is where I’m at right now.  Here.  In this world, in this time, in this place — where I happen to be poorer than my companions.

So, I suppose that since I’ve thrown my love life out the window for the moment, that the creation of wealth will be my preoccupation the rest of my days.  How very  hoi polloi of me.

Anyway, I think my loner side wants to kick in.  I need some peace, quiet, and serenity. Even just to come to terms with how stupid my pre-soul contract self was.

There’s an incongruence between what the cards say, what my guides say, what the signs say and what my reality is, and I can’t figure it out.