Tag Archives: destiny advice

Well, Hello, 2019!

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It’s been a while since I’ve gotten anywhere remotely near the 5th Dimension. Why? Because plans go awry. Go figure.

At the onset of Q4 of last year, I was riding tail to get all my deliverables at work, well, delivered. The original plan was to spend Thanksgiving in the US, redeem the airline credits I still have left before they expire by visiting Chicago or someplace else, then go to Hawaii with my extended family. However, I decided not to go (my sister was being a bitch again regarding me going on the same flight with her family) because — priorities. I’d rather save my money for a rainy day or for rent or a downpayment just in case I get evicted (again).

Segue to Plan B which was to use the time during Christmas to reconnect to my viewers and subscribers, get my other online business up and running to raise funds for rent/DP.

But even that was thwarted. As soon as I turned in my last Decision of the year, my boss slaps me with a high-profile consolidated case with tons and tons of dockets which, IMO, would have better been used as kindling for the fireplace.

For more than a month, I was eating, sleeping, breathing the case. I didn’t go out. Didn’t get to catch any Christmas Bazaars, missed the Simbang Gabi (Dawn Masses). Nada. The moment I woke up in the morning, I was on it, racing to beat my deadline. I would sleep near dawn every single day too tired to even fix the dockets strewn all over my bed.

And Plan B flew out the window.

In a way, though, I think it was good that I was busy during that time instead of moping and reveling in the fear of what unknown future would befall me. Heck, I didn’t even get to read “The Other Side of Suicide” when this break was supposed to give me time to contemplate whether or not I would push through with it.

What I ended up doing was — work. I dove full into the Holidays (Christmas Day/New Year’s Day) not being sentimental because as soon as I turned in my draft on the last working day of the year, there was another pile of dockets from the backlog because I had to focus on *the case*. In fact, I’m still dealing with that. I kind of want to get that under wraps before I go head on into YA and online selling again.

What I also ended up doing since I was under “house arrest by deadline” was shop online. It was like I was making up for not actually going to the US by shopping my entire ticket price. I couldn’t go out to shop for Christmas gifts either so I shopped online. And I wanted to give nice gifts to everyone. Especially since, I was thinking, this could be the last holidays that I would spend with my family in this house.

Anyway, the holidays are over, but my backlog isn’t. The savings that I was hoping to put aside from all the Christmas bonuses are dwindling, mostly because I’ve been investing on myself. I want to take care of myself this year, on all fronts — health, diet, skin, finances. I’ve been also fixing my brain (my pc) and all the extensions of it, updating software, etc. Been replacing worn out things with new ones. Basically, just making sure that I’m all set as much as I can prepare myself to be so.

During the last week of November, I got a reading from Joy and as far as me and my TF reuniting, it’s still an “uphill climb” (those are the exact words that she used). In essence, we still have to go through our individual challenges; he still has to admit to himself that he’s not happy in his current set up wherein he’s living his life for others; and I have to end my karmic contracts with my family and see to it that I stand on my own two feet. IOW, survive the sale of the house and the migration of my entire family. So how’s that for a jolly forecast? It’s like getting a fortune cookie that says, “You’ll be going through some tough shit this year because your soul chose it.” Fuck. Looks like this year will be “The Year for Searching for Silver Linings”. Miss Universe, Caitriona Gray, would approve.

I did get a clarificatory reading from Joy this morning. Basically, my folks will try to help me out with proceeds of the house but how yet depends on how it will play out. My dad is inclined to “set me up” instead of just giving me the money, but this set up will have strings attached so he will have some semblance of control over it. (Joy said though that he will me more focused on his new life so the “control” will be merely illusory) My mom wants to give me cash so that I’d have the freedom to choose where to live, but she still doesn’t know how the sale will pan out, plus she needs to set aside for their own “new life without me” also.

As for being the most prosperous out of all my sisters, she said that I had the “potential” to be that, even if I was unmarried. She clarified that even if it seemed that my sisters were richer than me, despite having that “potential” to get to the number one spot, it may not even matter to me anymore. (WTF. That would mean that I just probably gave up already.)

However, when she checked what the situation would be if I were partnered up, she said that “nothing would change”. She started saying something about how other people’s financial karma could be affected by a spouse who wanted to be more prosperous, but then cut herself off. She just said that it was good in a sense that — and I’m editorializing here because I can’t remember her exact words — that he wouldn’t bring me down, and that it didn’t matter if I was unmarried or not. What was important to my “soul” was that I would achieve whatever heights that I wanted to achieve in my own way. That it may take longer than others, but (insert words of consolation here).

So, after all that, just what exactly would Mr.-Nothing-Would-Change bring to the table? I ask because in her reading, all my partnered up sisters are receiving financial help and support from their spouses contributing to their “total wealth”. Did she just peg me down as a Sugar Mommy in the future? Would I be the female lion that goes out for the hunt while the male lions just bask in the sun and take credit for it?

In that scenario, it would be like I was paying for a male consort, a companion to warm my bed and my loins and go to the movies and the supermarket with. Then, I would justify my chosen lifestyle by saying that “with true love, there is no accounting” which is true, until the split. (And I call it that because there’s still no divorce in my jurisdiction)

Whoever got excited about an “uphill climb”? I hate transitions. They’re dastardly uncomfortable. I’ve been subjected to it time and time again and I’ve hated each and every one of them. This is why I’ve got such a short memory when it comes to things like those. You get into survival mode and there’s no room for sentiment. I honestly cannot remember the last days or weeks that I’ve spent in a place I’ve lived in and loved and had to leave.  That’s my coping mechanism. Block out that part that was so distasteful. Being told that I’ll have to go through that over again isn’t exactly the “jolly good time” that I had been visualizing since 2008. (BTW, I think I can declare that experiment as a FAIL)

And as for my TF Relationship — or lack thereof — he’s lost; i’m lost; we’re of no help to each other in our worldly lives, so what of it? The word Compassion keeps repeating over and over in my head, but I’m losing my patience when it comes to being compassionate towards idiots. My currency is the heart; their currency is logic or some other real world currency that leaves me beat up. If all Joy (and all the rest of it — Finances, etc.) is to be generated by me, myself, and I, and there is no one that will bother to be compassionate towards me or to go out of their way to share their joy with me, I’m reminded of the time that I got so frustrated with Big Dick Tom and just when we were starting to get ourselves hot and bothered, I said, “Let’s get this over and done with.” Ha. How romantic. /s He got all irritable after that and said that I ruined the mood. But if it was just a transactional recreational thingy, then why bother to keep up the pretense of a romance. It would only be for his amusement, not mine.

So there. I just want to get this over and done with. Fuck that uphill climb.

 

 

 

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Wobbly

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First off, I apologize for the choppy post.  It’s past midnight and I took a sleeping pill since I need to wake up early tomorrow.

I got some much needed guidance from Jen today.  I actually felt the blocks in my heart clear and get the energy flowing again.

Turns out, my dream about D was important.  Jen said that even my TF’s kids were part of my soul group, and by him “paying his respects” — gosh, I need to change that phrase because that makes me sound like I’m dead — okay, “courtesy call” then, it was an acknowledgement that I was welcome in our soul group.  And, of course, it had to be D, who is a mama’s boy and is naturally opposed to my presence.

Basically, they’re still together, no emotional connection, but more like brother and sister.  However, between this Equinox and this — I forgot the term because really, since we only have two seasons where I live, all the changing seasons thing is actually irrelevant to my existence.  It’s just either sunny or raining. Anyway, whatever it was, it’s going to happen on May 1 — which, to me, is simply Labor Day. That period though — March 20 to May 1 — is set to be a big wave of awakening and recognition of the Divine Masculine of their Divine Feminine counterparts.

If I don’t stabilize in 5D, then he’s not going to “recognize” me.  Jen said I was wobbly right now, which was okay because we get that way sometimes.  I said that much of my frustration was because I was already that way BEFORE the fucking session.  In any case, all water under the bridge.  In order to stabilize in 5D, I have to be in the present, in the NOW and just continue to be thankful — be in a state of gratitude — no matter what 3D presents to me. She said that I had to take the lead because I am the Divine Feminine.  And, really, I should listen to my own readings because that’s exactly what I said also to the collective.

I did tell her about the fire in one of the malls that my TF designed.  And she said that that was an important sign as well.  Their egos are being dissolved by fire, like a phoenix rising from the ashes.  And, again, I said that too in my reading for this week which means I should listen to myself more, lol. She even told me to tell that to the collective and I said that I already did.

As regards the remaining 30% ancestral healing that needs to be done, Jen said that I didn’t need to clear anything anymore; that I had already cleared so much it was unbelievable. And of course, I told her about Linamarie, and she asked if she was a Twin Flame. I said I did see her in other TF boards but since I wasn’t active myself because I was hecka busy, I didn’t really know her.  She was just recommended and I did enjoy my first session with her, so I went for a second.

And, once again, I got advised that I need to get readings from people who vibrate higher than I do. This is the part where the eye-roll comes in. The thing is, I don’t know that until after I get the read.

And since I was pesky and needed validation, I asked her if she was sure that I didn’t need to clear anything anymore.  And she asked me what resonated with me more, her version or Linamarie’s?  I told her that I had already cut karmic cords with my family around three years ago and I was even given a promotion by the karmic board with that crown that they gave me.  And anything that I did after that was already my free will.  I could choose to leave and let them live out the consequences of not spiritually evolving, but I chose to stay.  And I felt that with my presence alone, they are improving and making better choices.

So there.  That’s that.  At least, a huge thorn has been lifted off my chest as regards that ancestral healing thing.

I told Jen that I kind of slid back into 3D mode and went into retail therapy to comfort myself and just kept buying bags.  I think my bag buying spree is over now.  I’m ready to go back to my “other Facebook”. With the exception of those bags that I didn’t quite like when it got to me, the rest are going to be part of my other line of business.

Okay, that’s it.  I need sleep.  Lots of work tomorrow.

 

Mission Orders

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I just finished a wonderful session with Angel Linamarie.  I got in touch with her because of a dream I had the other night.  I’m not sure if jotted it down in this blog or what, but it was about me in a marketplace and then being approached by this huge Great Dane (bigger than the normal Great Dane) and this other dog.  They were not aggressive but the big dog wanted to hump me and I escaped into this house nearby which turned out to be the bigger dog’s house.  Met its owner who said I shouldn’t fear the dog, but I still tried to escape and when other people came in and the dog was distracted, I was able to get out of the house.

I thought it was pretty innocuous (the dream), but apparently, I was right to ask for guidance regarding it because it was heavy stuff that had to do with stuff I still needed to clear.  Linamarie even asked that it be towards the end of the session that we deal with the dream since it brought on heavy stuff and we were to tackle the twin flame stuff first.

In my session, we were joined by AA Michael and AA Metatron.  Let me jot this down in no particular order just so that I remember.

  • I should share my TF story about me and M to others more because it facilitates clearing
  • M’s Higher Self joined us. M said that there is not a day goes by that he doesn’t think of me; that he loves me very much (at one point he was giving me kissy faces).  Linamarie thought he was so cute.
  • He said that 99% we will be together in this lifetime.
  • M said that he is doing everything he can right now to clear his ancestral lineage, as I am doing, so that he we can get back together again. L said that there’s around 30% more to clear.  I said that the 70% took about a decade to clear and was just wondering what the 30% would translate like in time.  She said that the guides don’t work with time because they have no concept of time, but that since I’ve been doing so well, things will happen rapidly. I mean, once the 30% has been accomplish, things will rush in fast. It will create an energetic avalanche for the both of us to come together. AA Metatron was saying that it’s just this 30% that needs to be done and taking it step by step. We’re in the home stretch.
  • Part of what I’m getting when I feel that “I don’t want to do this anymore; I want to give up” it’s part of the next step of surrendering, also part of the process. It’s feels like letting go, but it’s really a letting go of control of how it’s going to happen. Like fake labor pains that help us get ready when we’re really giving birth already.
  • She also said that, before, time was very loose, and that we had a lot of leeway to exercise free will, but this is a time in our planet where things are speeding up because we have missions to do so that 30% will be faster than the 30% that I had to deal with before. There’s not much time left that’s why M and I are needed to do our missions and bring the light energy to the world. The guides said I should try my best to be patient because they’re doing their part in the back end to get everything into play.
  • They’re also saying that they have this magical surprise for me so I just have to show up.
  • M picked a very difficult ancestral line to heal and so have I.
  • My ancestors were also present and they said that a lot of them incarnated to help clear the lineage but they couldn’t do it.  So they sent me to do it and here I am, doing what they thought was impossible. They are very proud of me and will help me.
  • L said that it was very difficult to do — at which point I cried, because, yes, it’s been very difficult.  We took a moment to hold space for the sacred tears.
  • I need to ask assistance or help from others in the things I have to do.
  • M and I are old Twin Flames.  We’ve already incarnated together before and we’ve gotten together against all odds, so this isn’t new to us and we will do it again. The other TFs that we are currently helping right now are babies compared to us.
  • M remembers me a lot because he’s getting signs.  He usually gets signs from nature, with how the wind blows, a bird, etc.
  • M said to hold on and that I shouldn’t lose faith; he is coming back. He is doing everything he can to get back to me.  He’s come up with challenges and it is affecting him physically.
  • I asked if we would see each other in person this year, and M said that there is a large possibility that we would, the chances are very good.  I told L that I wasn’t getting in touch with him anymore, and she said that the guides (AA Metatron) was working hard to set up our reunion.  We might even meet randomly (bleh, I want to be prepared, what if I look like crap when I come across him?). But there’s something magical in store for us regarding our connection, so there’s a good chance of that random bumping into each other. However, they’re still cautioning because there’s still work to be done. It’s time to come into my power as a lightworker in my mission and that’s really needed right now.
  • When I was asking about time, I told L that M’s old already, and M said he thinks he’s young at which point I rolled my eyes and told her that yes, he’s confident, he even said that he could live past a hundred years for us to be together. Rolled my eyes again on that one.
  • M also said that he liked the idea of asking his Higher Self to snuggle whenever I wake up and to talk to each other before I go to bed. Why am I not surprised?  The guy is infinitely more mushy than I am. 
  • When asked about my  job and my mission, the message was to hang on, hold on because AA Metatron is preparing a situation for me wherein I will be able to use my lightwork in my real work.  I am still needed in my real work job.  There’s some job that they are preparing for me where I’m going to take what I’m learning in my job now and my spiritual work and they will line up together. When that happens that whatever they have prepared for me will kick in already, it will be magical.
  • Everything is happening in the exact way it’s supposed to happen, and she said that she doesn’t always say this, but in this case, it seems almost impossible for us not to be together because our souls want it so badly and with the experiences we’ve had before – this is not our first lifetime together – in line with the intuition that I’m already getting.
  • My dream (the dog dream) is about clearing that dominant, aggressive masculine energy. Even if I’ve cut the karmic cords with my dad and my brother, I should up it a level. So my next mission order is to EMBODY COMPASSION. I’m already doing it in a lot of ways, but this is kind of a push to take it further.  Because when I’m already in that embodied compassionate place, I’m no longer saying — there’s no right or wrong anymore. It’s just two souls that came into this lifetime to learn lessons; and be grateful that they were teachers in this life and you release your soul from that soul contract with them. And I do that by having great compassion and empathy for them.
  • She then told me about the Buddhist practice of Tonglen. Where I take in the suffering of others and transmute that into compassion.  Take no more than 7 breaths because it is very powerful.  During the in-take breath,  connect with the person, imagine the breath you are breathing in is red, warm, hot, take it to your heart center, swirl it around until it becomes a cool blue, then breathe it out. This changes the energy, the dynamic, the situation.

Throughout the session, the connection would fluctuate and there were times when I couldn’t hear her or see her.  She said that this sometimes happened when there were intense high vibrations between her and the twin she was helping out. I immediately took hold of my Shungite crystals to filter out and lower the vibrations a bit, and the connection stabilized.

So that’s it! I had other questions, but my time was up, and I didn’t feel any urgency in asking them.  I still have to work on the 30% in the meantime.

I love M.  And he loves me too. Even if she didn’t mention it, I knew that already.  But, as always, it was nice to hear.

Finally, With the Stars

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He was the coolest astrologer I’d ever known.  Bespectacled, his black mane drawn in a ponytail behind his head, nicotine-stained teeth from smoking too many Camels, leather boots, and armed with a charming British accent, Henry Palacios stood behind a small almost inconspicuous booth at the lower ground floor of Megamall, ready to tell you what the stars had in store for you.

The booth had just opened, and my friend Amelyn and I walked over curiously to ask what it was all about.  That was the first of many visits.  And soon after, our friends flocked to Henry as well, and we were also introduced to the other oddballs that hung out with him — clairvoyants, psychics, sorcerers, wizards and warlocks in their own right.  Even when Henry was manning the booth alone, we were always in for tales of his adventures – whether it was getting lost in Salamanca, Spain, drunken partying at some other part of the world, or even cautionary tales about how having a Mars in Aries could get one into trouble.

Decades later, the booth had closed down and Henry became more prominent, guesting at the biggest networks during auspicious times of the year.  I had gone on to law school and become a lawyer, while Amelyn became a respected broadcaster.

Two days ago, Henry got called to be with the stars.  It happened suddenly, at the tender age of 53.  His brother was recounting their last conversation the night he had a heart attack.  Henry was bemusing about how he was going to grow old alone as he had never married, and was wondering what was going to become of him since he hadn’t gotten together with “the one who got away.”

Maybe the stars heard him.  Maybe the Karmic Board was compassionate enough to give him leave to come home.  After all, Henry has helped countless people during their journey in this lifetime.  Mission accomplished.

Now, it’s time for him to rest and be with the stars he loved so much. Thank you, Henry, for your lifetime of service.

Henry Palacios

The Hold Out

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I got a reading today.  Although my situation is a whole lot rocky especially on the domestic front, the cards (and my reader’s guides) are advising me to hold on because the storm will pass and the sun will come out soon.

Some highlights of my reading:

My now ex-friend JJ’s business and love life will reach Tower status if she doesn’t make things right with me.

Apparently, she thinks that I’m causing the havoc in her life right now and is distancing herself from me.  It’s the wrong way round.  The reason that nothing seems to come to fruition with her is because despite helping her out and showing her kindness and generosity of spirit, she didn’t treat me well.  Well, that’s actually a euphemism.  Betrayed would be the proper word.  Then again, I forgave her (three times now, by my count) and yet, she didn’t make good on those second chances.

Oddly enough, she’s one of the few people who know my divine aspect as dispenser of divine justice.  So that’s disappointing.  Neither my reader (who also knows her) nor I can give her a heads up too because this is a test that she has to figure out and pass by herself, not because she was coached.  I’ll be sad to lose a friend.  But again, I’m not a doormat.  If she doesn’t make amends, the trend will continue, and she’ll have no one to blame but herself and her foolish pride.

Better to stay under the radar for now where my parents are concerned.

I asked if I could just give them money next month, but the advise was to give some now otherwise, they’ll throw a shit storm by August when other things in my life are going well for me.

When I asked whether or not it was safe to surface, the cards said not yet.  It would be better if I didn’t talk to them first until I got myself properly situated with M.  That’s assuming, of course, that M would come in time, and I hope he does because too long of a hold out would just make me seem like a universal asshole.

My relationship with my dad will never be repaired.  My mom will continue to be user-friendly.  They will keep asking for money and emotionally blackmail me into giving it.

The Secret Wedding

So the advice was that when M and I get our act together and decide to get married, that I shouldn’t tell them because they will attempt to sabotage it.  I can only tell them when it’s a done deal.  I’ll have to explain to M my circumstances and he will understand and will want to take me away from my own private hell here.

I can’t introduce him to my family either because it will sour our beginning.  Not even my sisters.  My friends, yes, but not my immediate family because all of them have their own malevolent and resentful agenda against me.  The advise was to give us time to get used to each other and get settled down, before we let in the barbarian horde into our lives.

I’m going to be moving out first before the wedding so I don’t know how to keep that under wraps.  In any case, I don’t think it will be a problem once I announce it, especially if I preface it with the fact that they’ve been telling me to get my own place since they will be selling the house soon, and that here I am, finally complying with their dearest hearts’ wishes.

Kind of a very different scenario from my resort destination wedding that was prophesied at first, but I have to roll with the punches.  The “storm” I’m going through was foretold by my other reader in my birthday reading when she said that I’d have to face some challenges when I turn 40.  Yeah, this is probably it.

They’ll all be sorry.

I don’t say that in a vengeful sort of way, but I mean, they’ll literally say sorry and try to make amends to me.  M will be sorry that he’s strayed the path and delayed so many times, given in to temptation and all that, but from the time he arrives, he will make up for it.  That’s also the reason why he hasn’t spoken to me — he’s downing the cocktail of shame with a shot of remorse.

My dad will be sorry and will try to make amends, but only because he wants money, and to that, I say fuck him.  My mom will be sorry and try to be congenial but only because of money too.  The advise was to give them what they ask just so they get off my back for a while.

The Sun is Coming

Actually, my first and determining spread was really good.  I got the Sun card for the final outcome.  Right now though, I feel pained and desolate because, until it happens, I really don’t know for sure if I’m looking forward to something, but the cards say that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  Even when I read my own cards, that’s what it says.

So right now, my best option is to keep flying low under the radar, keep my cards close to my chest, and hold out for as long as I can, bending without breaking, like a bamboo in the wind.

God help me.  My higher self, spiritual team, and the angels, archangels, and the ascended masters too.