Can’t think of a better title because I don’t know how this entry will turn out. I just wanted to write, to connect with something, someone, somewhere out there. So bear with me. Or skip this all together. 🙂 You have been warned.
On the Twin Flame Community Drama – well, that’s winding down. I suppose folks got appalled that a lot were coming out of the woodwork with similar experiences with IamAngelics.Net and they thought that the negativity would shatter the zen, so to speak. They even “disbanded” that wrongly spelled group (which I am thankful for because the wrong spelling was grating) and created a new one.
My thoughts on this? Light cannot exist without dark. I don’t think it’s fair to dismiss another twin’s experience if only because it destroys the “hugbox” experience for you. What we resist, persists. Not looking at it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. And, corollarily, just like what they preach in the TF community, just because one hasn’t come into physical union yet, doesn’t mean that one won’t. It’s part of the Christos Energy, the Alpha and Omega, both ends of the spectrum, embraced. And I just honestly think that some twins are just looking for guidance (hey, this journey didn’t come with a manual!) and is why they are bringing it up.
#iamatwinflame — so I joined the new group and am still feeling my way through. I am really looking for forum for discussion about this journey, but if it only evolves into a “hugbox” full of positivity memes, then at least I’ll know that it is that.
Honestly, I don’t even know if I rightfully belong there. What if M isn’t really my twin? What if I’m not a twin? I am a confirmed Starseed Indigo Lightworker, that much I know, but the twin part, I was merely guided to it. And yes, if you backread my blog, you’ll see me recounting all those times when I asked Spirit if I was a twin flame and his/her answer, but still, you know? In any case, if it’s something like “gender” in the 3D, then I am identifying as a twin flame haha. My inchoate book title just got a bit longer — “The Little Lost Starseed and Reluctant Twin Flame” 🙂
I figured, I’ll find out the real answer to that either when I come into union with my twin in this lifetime OR when my time is up on this Earth. In any case, if I have been mistakenly sending unconditional love to my false twin, that unconditional love has to have been sent somewhere and it would also do nothing but good. I might have wasted my time denouncing other experiences with someone else in this physical incarnation (status as of now, but I may get bored a couple of years later being alone and celibate and just hook up with someone else who doesn’t mind not being the love of my life — just keeping it real), but it was still my choice.
Houston, We Have a Problem – I googled my TF this afternoon. That was after one of my coworkers introduced me to a deep web search and I got curious what would turn up for him. Well, nothing on that engine, so I went back to good old Google. Still, nothing that I hadn’t seen before except for the fact that he had plumbing work done on his house back in 2014. (The site listed remodelling permits).
I even texted him today only because some of the readings said that the Divine Feminine was wearing a mask and to tell him what you truly feel and to reach out and not be afraid to be rejected. As usual, no response.
So, for all intents and purposes, he might as well have fallen off the planet. So what do I make of this soul yearning that I have for him? My soul knows he is my twin as certain as I know that there is a God or that the sun will rise in the East tomorrow. I know I sound like I’m contradicting myself given what I’ve written above, but just look at it as the sound of one hand clapping.
Nervousness. — I am nervous what will happen in my 3D life in the days to come. My mom’s birthday party is coming up and that might mean another ambush in public by my family which I can’t evade really because it’s going to be held at our house which I don’t really know if it will be my soon-former-residence. I’m just taking my “courage shot” from the thought that Spirit will have my back, however this turns out. Pure trust because I have nothing else to rely on. I just hope my prayers are heard.
On the other hand, I just found out (by accident, again because my mom mistakenly messaged my sister in a group chat with my sister’s other friends) — that my sister has a criminal case. She’s a nurse in Halifax. I’m guessing something along the lines of Criminal Negligence, but the fact that my sister wouldn’t give details of it even to my mom makes me think it might be something more.
What is even more worrisome is that she told my mom that she’ll tell them the entire story “when they come to Canada” which is implying that it could be very soon, which, of course, will fuck up my balance again. And it’s times like these that I wished I could have just not volunteered for this mission.
Reiki Attunements — On the other hand, I am seriously looking forward to being attuned in Usui Reiki, Ascension Reiki and Reiju Reiki! I think it will be another avenue to use and share my divine gifts. I really do want to help other people and pets heal and do life coaching. I’ve already been healing others when I can but it is an unstructured sort of pranic healing with the Divine Rays and the Healing Codes. With that, you have to direct the energy. Anyway, I’m pretty excited about that.
So that’s the report for tonight, folks. Hope I have better news in the next few days. Namaste.