The title because… can’t think of anything else, just need to let off steam and I’m watching reruns of Breaking Bad.
I was looking forward to the reading I had today with Linamarie. It was my TF’s birthday the day before and I wanted to find out how he was and what direction we’d have in the future.
What I found out is that he’s separated but not yet divorced and doesn’t have any impetus to get the paperwork done. Then, when I asked if we were going to be married to each other in 3D, she said we could choose to get married, but in essence, the question was evaded and it all boiled down to — we could get married if we moved two mountains with our bare hands, swim across the Pacific Ocean in a single day, and milk diamonds out of a cow. She might as well have said no because she was giving me this song and dance about how marriage was “just a piece of paper”.
I was trying to explain to her that no matter how intertwined one was in 5D, or no matter how irrelevant that piece of paper is for life in 5D, we’re still 3D beings living in a 3D world/government, etc. and there are legal consequences to that piece of paper; that unless all the governments were abolished, and with that, the legal system, there are certain things that one has to do the paperwork for in order to be able to do stuff. That’s why, even if those documents seem irrelevant in while you are living out your autobiography, YOU STILL DO THEM.
I think it was the non-acknowledgement of that that got me more frustrated. And the fact, that I was perfectly fine and happy with his 5D Higher Self before I got wind that he was just sitting pretty on his divorce.
She also said that he wouldn’t get in touch with me by June of this year; that it was better for us not to speak to each other before Spirit deems it time so that we could concentrate on whatever it was we had to clear, purge and heal. Oh, and by the way, that 30% hasn’t changed. And that I had to clear my fear around him being married. I think that got me even madder. My fear around him being married? Whaddafuck???? I don’t need to fear him being married. It’s just a fact.
All I wanted from this woman was a status report on him, NOT ME. And I as much told her that I wanted that so I could manage my fucking expectations. And I just felt that I just threw $100 out the window.
I asked her if he was consciously in love with me in 3D right now — and I did make a distinction between 3D and 5D, she said that I should look into my heart to find the answers. Maybe I would have found an answer there if she hadn’t gotten me fucking mad in the first place. Oh, and she also advises me to be mad — to clear that. She said that she felt that I was holding back and that I’ve got to get myself into a raging, all-consuming fire.
I don’t think this lady knows what happens when I’m mad. Even now, I can hardly think or function because she’s gotten me mad. When I’m mad, I don’t care. I don’t give a rat’s ass. And I happen to short-circuit everything around me — which I’ve managed through “saved by shungite”. Unhinged would be the word.
Okay, this is not helping. I feel my blood pressure is through the roof.