I watched the livestream of the Total Solar Eclipse this morning. In my part of the Universe, it could only be seen partially, so the sun seemed like an oddly shaped Apple logo with a bite taken from it.
They say that this Eclipse in Pisces will transform old wounds into new strengths. I learned that after the fact, after the eclipse was over, and I was wondering what it meant for me, and for all of us. Frankly, the energy from the eclipse made me weep while it was ongoing, and now, I feel it still finding its way into incorporating with my own energy.
I can only describe it as being overwhelmed and bored at the same time. My mind can’t seem to settle on any one thing. I didn’t get any work done at the office. I left the office early to dilly dally at the mall, but ended up bringing an insane amount of documents with me because I couldn’t decide what to do so as not to get bored. But here I am writing this instead.
I feel like a chicken running without its head. And in the back of my mind, I’m wondering if I would feel less affected if I didn’t bask in the sun while it was all happening or if it wouldn’t have made a difference.
Three days ago, it was M’s birthday and I texted him a greeting. Status is read, but no reply. I asked for guidance after that and my reading was reassuring although until I actually hear from him, I don’t think I will ever be reassured.
Now, I feel like I’m walking on coals and have to sidestep everything so as not to get burnt. That’s me inside. Like there’s this great big storm raging, the wind is howling, the rain is beating on windows and pavements, and trees, it’s cold and I’m just wishing that this would all be over, the calm would begin and the sun would start shining through the clouds.
How I wish to finally know the answers.
On the other hand, I did learn that I am a Lyran Starseed, courtesy of another Arcturian Starseed I recently met. My soul teacher couldn’t confirm which star I came from before. All she said was that it was far away, that it wasn’t the Pleiades or Orion although I had spent several lifetimes there too.
And this is why, when I had an energy exchange with that sketchy psychic (I just say sketchy because I “felt” that he wasn’t upfront with his motives), the energy I saw was white, gold, and yellow — part of the energy signature of the Lyrans. And no wonder why, when I bought a crystal from him, he had implanted it with some energy vampire spirit to siphon off my “very rare” energy (according to him).
My guides were alert that time, and I was given the right signs and signals to veer away from him before he did too much damage. Still, knowing that I used to live in a Utopian society where the grass was pink, the skies were blue and violet and there was love all around, and knowing that I can’t ever come home because some hostile alien race blew up my home to pieces isn’t all that comforting.
So there’s one answer. I can never come home; I will never call anything home — I am the Eternal Wanderer.
I did come across the sigil to connect me with my Lyran kin. (No, it’s not the graphic above.) It’s the wallpaper on my phone now. I look at it, meditate on it, and feel that I’m not truly alone. We’re still out there, just far, far away from each other.
My research about the Lyrans led me to Vanessa LaMorte, an intergalactic shaman who channels messages from the Lyrian-Syrian Council. She speaks in light language and it is entrancing to listen to. I wish I could speak it. It would be great to bestow blessings in light language or to even come into contact with galactic beings who are friendly.
When I asked my reader, the cards said that I was still being prepared; that they were waiting for me to heal.
Anyway, I hope I get some answers soon. This eclipse has been really disconcerting.