I can’t remember the last time I had a nightmare. Usually, the ones I’ve had are of me being chased or of me trying to escape something in time.
This one was just so upsetting; I’ve been crying practically the whole night. The even stranger thing is that I already woke up from it, and usually, that cuts the dream sequence off, but when I went back to sleep, it continued, so I woke up bawling.
It was pretty simple. I was out in a strange place with my sorority sister and her husband. I don’t really even know why they had a role in this when we’re not that close in waking life. I’ve only seen her husband in FB pictures posted.
Anyway, somehow, Maximus, my beloved dog (who was sleeping beside me at the time) slipped out. I kept calling to him and tried to follow him, but I lost sight of him. We kept looking for him — at this vet’s place, at a big gym — nada.
I was already upset by then. My companions were trying to console me. Then I remembered that his collar had a GPS on and I tracked him on my smartphone. (this is fiction. he doesn’t have one) His location was nearby and my companions said that we’d go get him after our meeting or something.
His location kept on moving farther and farther away from us, and the last time I checked, it was sooo far away — only reachable via plane — and the end destination was a dumpsite. Then the tracking dot wasn’t moving at all.
It was horrible!!! The first time, I woke up crying. I saw Maximus on the bed beside me and even said, “I kept on looking for you but you were here all this time.” The second time, my dream continued and he ended up being in the dumpsite.
What is even more upsetting is that I had asked my guides for guidance and to give me the answer in my dreams. And this is what I got? Or is it a hybrid answer that includes the situation during my wakefulness?
It’s either, he’s gone forever and he’s never coming back. Trash your dreams about him. OR. You keep thinking and worrying that he’s gone, but he’s just really there just beside you. He hasn’t gone anywhere.
I’m still too upset to contemplate what the real answer could be. For now, I am hugging my dog as tightly as I can. To lose him would be devastating. I wouldn’t know how to pick myself up from that. The last time that happened and I lost my first love of a dog, I had PTSD because of it.
I don’t think I have the strength to face the world today.